Bride in need I really don't know where to turn

Honestly? I didn't read past the first few lines to know that you shouldn't marry this man.

Sounds to me like he wants you to be the one to call it off - he doesn't want to be responsible for it.

Has he always been a manipulator?

Is the wedding paid for? If so go ahead with it with all your family and friends but uninvite him.

Exactly, ultimatums for the prize of this prince.

I don’t even know you but I am BEGGING you, do not marry this man! Jesus Christ almighty.

First it was your job, now your weight: what’s next?

How did he lose his own pregnancy acquired weight? Oh wait ..

Can you ever imagine being this cruel to him OP? Or to anyone for that matter? I can’t so please don’t allow this cruelty to you. Even if you find a way to excuse or even accept what he’s done, won’t it take the shine of what is supposed to be a momentous, happy occasion in your life?

It’s a lot to take in and at this late stage, you need time to really consider how this has changed things and how you should proceed.

I’m so sorry he did this 💐

Sayng you’ve stood by him no matter what doesn’t sound very enticing. Do you mean you’ve stood by him despite him being a jerk?

As others have said why do you love him to bits?

Good luck with the wedding op - and for the next years to come, you're going to need it.

The more I read your responses the more annoyed I am for you!

What exactly has he done for you other than belittle and allow you to believe he is supportive? He encouraged you take a job you don't like to be available to your child so he doesn't have too. He huffs cause you haven't lost weight- why do you need to? how does he view you? This is a prick of man! You might be healthy but it's only a matter of time before your emotional wellbeing is going to impact you. Furthermore, the feeling of wanting to get into the car to drive away is your nervous system literally communicating with you. The more you ignore the more damage you will do and become seriously unwell!! Your body is literally telling you to get the f**k out of this relationship....

In the nicest possible way, have some self-respect and leave this vile controlling pig. If he wants to call off the wedding because he believes you are too fat (which is essentially what he is saying), he doesn’t love you. If he loved you, he would want to marry you as you are.

This actually upsets me to think you even need to ask this?!

you clearly have no self worth.
nobody, deserves to be spoken to like that. How would you feel if one of your children told you their spouse spoke to them like that?

It can be hard when you are living it, but honestly this isn’t normal. And you deserve more. You need to leave him and learn to love yourself. You can absolutely do it.

I don't think I could bring myself to ever have sex with this man again, knowing what he thought about my body.

I'm a couple of stone heavier than when I met DH - had a baby a few months ago and the weight piled on, especially with my BP meds, and it's been hard to lose.

DH has never, ever said anything other than I'm beautiful.

You deserve so much better.

Why not get ahead and YOU cancel the wedding? i mean you are not going to marry him now, are you? So call time on his horrible manipulative and disloyal behaviour, and tell everyone its off because you chose it. You could go out and enjoy your hen do first though!

I'd add, no man is worth your tears,
(unless there is a loss of a DH of many years)
or something similarly heartbreaking.

Me too

Do not give him the satisfaction of cancelling "due to unforseen circumstances " YOU should be calling the whole thing off, and let his nearest and dearest know exactly why! I'm so sorry this is happening to you! You're way roo good for this git.

What is it about him that ‘you live to bits?’. He sounds awful. Of course he knows it it hurts you to say such hurtful things - I cannot understand why you would try and defend his behaviour. Do yourself a huge favour and cancel the wedding and move on.
I agree with previous poster that you seem to be a victim of sunk cost fallacy.

Walk away. I am leaving after 27 years. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.

he's a disgusting pig. Tell everyone the wedding is off because he says you're too fat.

I don’t know you and whether you’re under or over weight. I hate to say this but, he is telling you what he think. The drink just gave him Dutch courage to say it out loud.

Wait...he 'made you get a more lucrative job' and has tried to make you lose weight. Does he have form for being controlling? Why do you let him or did you not realise? It's blatantly clear to me it's all about him. Trick him into putting it in writing it he hasn't already then send round to all family and friends saying wedding is off, this is why..then block him on all SM channels and only converse about the kids on email/phone/in person. If you can kick him out then do. I'd say he has cold feet and may have someone else on the side. Are you sure he really works long hours because many men having affairs are doing it during supposed work hours. I'm sorry he seems to be a commitmentphobe twit. Know that you are worth far more and you have a voice. Start using it to protect you and your kids interests. Because he is only looking out for himself.

"he is on about calling the whole thing off because his not happy how I haven't lost the weight he wants me to before the wedding."

I'm going to assume he's a dead ringer for <insert your favourite ripped beautiful man here>? How fucking dare he comment on your weight. What a piece of shit. I'd not be marrying him after that.

He is gaslighting you. Making you believe you are in the wrong. This will not stop , it will be worse once you are married.
Please look to your future without him.
It may seem difficult at the moment, but you will regain your self esteem and move forward and meet someone else that loves you the way you are, slim or not.
Staying with him, you will lose your self confidence , as it will erode. You'll lose your friends because of him.
Look after yourself & your children!
Cancel the wedding & ask him to leave!
You'll succeed .. & thank yourself..
In time you'll be so proud of yourself .
This scumbag will move on and will try to destroy another lady's life.
Get rid please .x

I think what you should really think about doing is telling him that actually you want to cancel the wedding, for the foreseen circumstances of him being a prick to you again, and then selling the house.