Bride in need I really don't know where to turn

Crumbs...

This. And what a disgusting role model these poor children have in him.

Never mind HIM calling off the wedding - YOU call it off and run for the hills; you don't need a prick like this in your life

Get rid, he’s vile!

You are missing out on a man who will treat you better. 15 years + 1 day with this prick is worse than 15 years.

What’s your financial situation - do you need protection for the kids eg share/right in the house? If so marry him then file for a divorce. He deserves it.

size 16 is overweight not even obese. Is he Adonis?

how can you love him to bits? Have more self respect!

I am so sorry:(

your weight will come off when you get rid of him, I promise!

After reading your updates I'm feeling you will forgive him and marry him . More fool you

Yes. Absolutely. I agree!

I would tell your darling husband to be that yes one day you will lose the “fat” but he will forever be a nasty cunt!!!

You know. I cannot believe how many women are grateful for the crumbs that a "man" throws them in the name of "love". So many women are brainwashed into thinking that this makes you "complete" . "I have stood by him so many times". So many women have such a low regard of themselves of what THEY need , deserve and work for. Why is this mediaeval attitude still so alive in 2024? I know it is not that black and white but fight back! There is education. Take it. Cultural - challenge it. Please.

@ForBetterForWorseOrNot what a bastard.

What is your financial situation? Do you own a home together that you are on the deeds for?

If you are I a precarious financial position then you might be better to marry him to give yourself some protections in divorce.

Then divorce him.

Please don't let your children grow up thinking this abusive horror show is what a relationship is like and that it's ok for men to treat women this way. It will affect them forever. They will also grow up with disordered body image and possibly eating disorders.
Please respect yourself and protect them and leave. But as a previous poster said if you are not a joint owner of the house in law then marry him before you split.

This is abuse and toxic behaviour, run for the hills , red flag !! Don’t marry him what an absolute asshole. You deserve better than this don’t settle for someone that treats you like this it will only get worse. My advice do some research on emotional abuse , toxic behaviour, narcissism it will open your eyes

What an utter bastard. I'd send the text to the family and tell them exactly what's going on. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are worth more than this.

He is beign manipulative and I think he tried to guilt trip you and make you beg and beg and stress and lose weight. You called his bluff.
Ditch the bastard and go for what would be hen do with your family.

Of course he realises the effect his negative comments have on you, that's why he's doing it!

Ditch him now this is the warning you need. If he does this before marriage what will he be like once he has a piece of paper that makes him think he owns you. If he is more bothered about your weight then I'm sorry he isn't a man. He's a moron who doesn't deserve you ditch him. Sell up and get away from the pig

Sod that, I couldn’t be with anyone who treated me like that. You are worth so much more, I’d be telling him you want to call it off then you’ll lose about 12 stone. Is he perfect physically?

My heart is with you. I should have been marrying someone who I found out had been cheating. I’d been with him 6 years, no kids thank god. I that 6 years he was sulky, I got the silent treatment, he commented on my weight etc he wore me down. He was a bastard. I had my hen do etc and was to marry in 10 days when I though enough Of this shit and cancelled it all. Had dress, bridesmaids, venue, cars, cake, honeymoon, hair booked. But I cancelled and never looked back or regretted this! Please, you deserve better ❤️

Run… run faster than you ever have from this absolute idiot!!! I hope you’re ok OP! This is awful and he shouldn’t be acting like this.
I’m going to assume that he is some sort of amazing model carved by angels???? LOL

Run and fast!!

Call off the Hen Do and the wedding now.

You can still take your time to consider the whole relationship as per a PP, but take charge.

Whatever the emotional and monetary cost of cancelling is absolutely nothing to the cost of a divorce.

Regardless of our shared history, the amount of love I felt for him or believed he felt for me, or the past support, hell would freeze over before I'd be a passenger in my own life like this.

Another poster suggested looking up sunk cost fallacy - What to do if your unhappy relationship is a case of 'sunk cost fallacy' | The Independent | The Independent

If you can afford to get some good talking therapy, and slowly rebuild your esteem and self worth, you may see him for what he really is - a sad little person inside, who needs to make you feel small, so he can feel big.

You deserve so much more than this.