Bride in need I really don't know where to turn

OP him taking pictures of you and sending them to you is NOT normal. This does not happen in a healthy relationship. Please get financial/legal advice and call the wedding off, you are worth more than this.

Oh, op - Fuck him. If this were happening to your daughter/son, what advice would you give? "Oh darling, you should stay with him, I know he's being abusive and nasty but just stay".

Fuck. Him.

I would keep my powder EXTREMELY dry. Depending on your situation.

Case law on divorce has seen huge changes in what is considered a long marriage. The length of time a couple have lived together before getting married is also relevant. Where there has been a period of ‘seamless cohabitation’ before the marriage that period of time is often also added to the ‘length of the marriage’. So in many circumstances and particularly for younger couples who are more likely to live together these days before getting married, the relevant question will be ‘when did you start living together?’ as opposed to ‘when did you get married?’

So depending on your own situation... is your name on the house, ? If you have been the lower earner ? I bet he has a better pension than you as he hasn't birthed kids and earns more...

For the pension alone I would keep my mouth shut.. even perhaps make a show of 'dieting' to get him back onside... marry him. It's a legal contract. Then unless he has had a personality transplant, start to make exit plans with a pension sharing order and half of ALL your family assets.

You only get CMS if you don't marry and if you don't own the house you will lose a fuckload for you and your kids by throwing your toys out the pram when you are only six weeks away from having all your hard work of this relationship and child raising legally recognised.

OTOH if you don't own a house, have no pensions and little in savings. Blow it out and tell the hens/family exactly why.

He isn't a prize worth winning.
His behaviour is so, so cruel OP.
Everyone else has said it better than me, but could you honestly cope with a lifetime of this?
Putting up with him belittling and humiliating you because the odd moment where he's relatively loving towards to you makes it worthwhile? No, that's abusive.
You do not have to marry this nasty, controlling piece of work.
I can only imagine how much you must be hurting right now after what he's done, and I wonder where your confidence levels are after 15 years of him.
He's a pig.

What a cunt.

Even if you do marry him, how do you come back from this? Save yourself the hassle of a divorce.

He is not a good man, nor a decent one. You deserve so much more.

He has too much power.
You say you have changed jobs because he wanted you to earn more? And you do not like your current job.
And there is fat too many "he wanted...." in your OP.
I would label this controlling and he an arsehole. And he can get lost. He is nothing but a prick who cannot even have a good holiday, let alone a good happy wedding. Who would want to spend 5 minutes in this idiot's company?

Hang on OP. Before you chuck him out - who has the money? Whose house do you live in?

If you have more assets than him do not marry him. If you are living in his house then do marry him - purely to secure your share of the family resources for your children.

He's not a nice man. I would bet he is coercively controlling- the job, the weight think, plus tiny things like your hen night is all HIS family...

I used to be a size 12, long time ago. I'm now a 16 after having 2 DC and being a SAHM. Dh doesn't care and still loves me. I also think it's controlling, what's he like when you go out with friends?

OP this man does not value you. You have stood by him no matter what. He forces you into a job you don't like because it earns more money. He likes to belittle you and see you hurting because it makes him feel better seeing you feel small. Wake up, he doesn't love you he just loves controlling and manipulating you. It makes him feel important. He's not a big catch. He'll continue to put you down for fun. He knows you're sensitive about your weight so he is using it to punish you. If it wasn't your weight it would be something else. Can't you see you deserve so much nicer and better than him? If you marry him you'll just have more years of misery ahead then he'll cheat on you and blame you for being overweight. Send the message to your hen party the wedding is off because your fiance thinks you are too fat to marry. Then pack up and go away for a few days alone. Maybe treat yourself to a spa hotel stay. Get a few treatments. See if your Mum will look after the kids for a couple of days. Do not take him back. You can't unheard the words he said to you.

Omg
OP you are amazing. Dedicated mother, held down a full time job and trained for another.
You definitely don't need him!
He's actually very unkind and likes you to be sad. Think about that.
I think you need to shock him at the very least, give him an ultimatum and do a trial separation. Then you may realise you need to end this.

Sending you images and essentially calling you overweight is disgusting. To then say he’d call off the wedding for this is awful and would make me have second thoughts.

Have you explained how hurtful his comments are and how terrible he makes you feel about yourself?

I understand it’s hard to just walk away, it also seems like you don’t want to but would rather tell his family what he said. That’s fine if you want to do it but I don’t think it will help.

Sitting him down and telling him how hurtful his comments are is important as he needs to realise how awful he is being.

Personally I wouldn’t marry him. I know the lead up to weddings can be extremely stressful and this is often when people get doubts but it’s also meant to be such an exciting time. You don’t want your wedding day to be filled with doubts and insecurities of if you’re good
enough for him. Realistically you’re far better than him!
If he can say these things on the lead up to your wedding then I dread to think what he’d say to you once you’re married.

I gained a ridiculous amount of weight when pregnant. I then couldn’t lose it and tried so hard but for me. My dh sat me down one night and said that he loved me, that I gave him the life he wanted and that nothing will change for him. He reassured me that he thought I was beautiful no matter how I felt about myself.
You have supported this man, you have brought your children into this world, he shouldn’t be focussing on your weight.

What is your financial situation? He sounds controlling? Have you always done what he wants?

What a nasty piece of work this man is. Zooming in on pictures of you and showing them to you?! What an absolute prick. Don’t marry him - he’s an abuser. He doesn’t love you as he wouldn’t treat you this way if he did. Don’t marry him - and yes you should tell everyone exactly why.

No decent man would do this. This is so wrong and a huge red flag. Do not marry this man

That’s what you’re taken from this thread is it?

It sounds like he’s emotionally abusive to you. Clearly you’re not his priority or in love with you as he’s saying this stuff and behaving like this. Ditch him.

I've just walked away from a fifteen year relationship, twelve of them married, two young kids. I know it's really fucking hard but we deserve better.

Nothing will be worse for your mental health and self respect than marrying him.

Don't marry him, he doesn't love you. Yes you can tell people why the wedding is cancelled. Why is it basically his family who are going to your hen? If it's because you don't have friends think about the real reasons behind this.

What a horrible nasty man. Please don’t marry him

Don't marry him, he doesn't love you

You can lose 13-14 stone with no diet by ditching this cunt.

Why would someone need you to lose weight for a wedding when you have been together so long?

Blimey op; he’s a charmer alright.

I’d be tempted to walk down the aisle and then turn around and say the wedding is off and hand out copies of his text messages

to the assembled congregation.

But probably less time consuming to send them to the hen night invitees.

He’s utterly vile. Please leave this relationship as soon as possible.

I can't believe what I've just read. Please do not marry this prick.

He is a misogynistic arsehole OP and you deserve better. How dare he. I wouldn’t marry him no. You have a good opportunity to take the power back. I’d forward his horrible abusive messages to his family and tell them exactly why you’re calling it off, tell them how you told us, that he had threatened to call it off for unforeseen reasons because he believes you are overweight. Then I’d not give him a second thought, order my favourite fucking meal with dessert and start making plans for the future. You deserve better. You deserve love and happiness.