Bride in need I really don't know where to turn

You’ve been together for 15 years and have 2 kids. He’s doesn’t want to marry you. If he did you’d be married by now. He’s trying to get out of it and he’s using weight as an excuse. As PP said, it’s not about the weight. If you were a millionaire supermodel he’d still find something wrong. If you would benefit from the marriage then go ahead but be aware that you are getting yourself into an abusive marriage - only you can decide if it’s worth it. You are marrying a very low quality man and he does not deserve you.

Listen to him. He has been very clear. Your weight is an issue to him. It will continue to be an issue. He will shame you about it forever now.

Do not marry this abusive bastard. Don't let sunk-cost fallacy trap you in an abusive marriage.

Bin him, tell people the truth about why he's binned, and have a happier life without him. His manipulation and abuse will only cause you and your children more harm; it won't go away, it'll only get worse.

Show your children and yourself that women in general and you in particular in this case, deserve better than this.

Tell him that you’re calling it off. You might reconsider in a few years when he’s proved himself to be worthy.

Please think of the person who loves you most in the world and then think about how they would feel if they knew he was saying this stuff to you.

Or think about how you'd feel if your daughter was treated in the same way.

It is not ok, not excusable. You deserve better.

@ForBetterForWorseOrNot any chance a "mate" of his sent the messages ? was he in the pub?

Well I hope you send him a picture of someone with a six pack and tell him he has six weeks.

I love him to bits

Why? And does he reciprocate? (The answer to the second one is 'no'.)

He doesn't realise the negative comments knock me for six

Of course he does.

and have stood by him no matter what

Hmm. You've said this a few times. What have you had to stand by? What's the 'what' that doesn't matter?

What makes you say that? 🤔

You are being abused, OP. You must wake up. Don’t let sunk cost fallacy keep you in an abusive relationship.

You are not throwing 15 years away, you are saving yourself from another 15 years of a life with this horrible man

Yikes, wedding would be cancellled asap and I’d be going on my hen do regardless and having the piss up of my life celebrating a near miss.

I think it is. Especially with the his instead of he is put in there.

Op sorry when you say you're name wasn't on the mortgage because you only worked 7 hours a week... why did that mean you couldn't go on? I didn't work at all when we bought our house and I was still on the mortgage ..was this an issue with your credit rating you mean? Sorry not being nosey just checking this wasn't him giving you crap info.

Please. Please. Please. Do not marry him. Get rid - he sounds vile and things only become more complicated and entangled when you are married.

Do you seriously need a PowerPoint presentation to show why not to marry him? Desperation?

Why on earth would you? It is your choice too but no idea why

15 years is a long time to have put up with this treatment. It's certainly long enough. When your children leave home, it will be just you and him for the rest of your life. No one on here has said "Nah, marry him, it'll be alright". It won't. Please please listen and don't marry him. I escaped a relationship like this once (it was only 7 years but long enough) and have been with my lovely normal, non abusive partner for the last 41years so I do know the difference. Just leave. You don't even have to tell him why.

You would be better off doing almost anything with your life than marrying this appalling excuse for a man. Please don't let him abuse you any longer. Take back control. Tell him the wedding is off and your decision is final. It's terrifying I know, but a few months and it will be done. Otherwise you'll have a lifetime of this and that should be even more frightening. You are a young woman with so much to offer your children, your job, and maybe one day, a man who deserves you. Don't waste your precious life with this one.

’Standing by someone no matter what’ is and example to show your children. Imagine this was one of them.

Well firstly, he's a prick.
Can I ask why you're getting married now after 15 years together? Was it your choice or his? And has he always had issues with your weight or is it a new thing?
I wouldn't marry him and I'd tell him to go ahead and cancel. Better still, message his family and tell them why he's calling it off.

learning a new role in a job I hate because he wanted me to find something that pays better

So on top of his cruelty and attempts to control you with your weight, he also dictates what job you do and how much you need to earn?

As a PP astutely mentioned, your hen event seems to feature his family members, so he’s controlling your social life too?

OP, 15 years is a long time, but a lifetime is so much longer. Get out and win your life back. Your partner is abusing you.

The Freedom Programme could help.

He's abusive.

Not only should you not marry him I agree you need to walk away.

Easier said than done but I actually think not marrying him will make it easier to walk away even if it isn't for a year or 2. (Although actually marrying may financially benefit you in a divorce )

Please do not marry such an ugly man and DO tell people the truth.
He is emotionally abusive.
Do not marry him.
Vile prick.

While I think this is very good advice, it is even harder to overcome the mental barrier of getting divorced, compared to leaving a partner. So I’d only advise the OP to do this if she is 100% sure she can go through with it.