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AIBU?

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Original poster

‘You fucking brass.’

31 replies

Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:20

I don’t like FIL. This is nothing new, his loud and an insufferable know it all.

Tonight (in ‘jest’) he called me a ‘fucking brass,’ This is just dick behaviour isn’t it? Dp often minimises his ridiculous comments because ‘it’s just how he is’ - but this one has really pissed me off.

Wibu to bring it up to DP tomorrow?

OP posts:
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Noseybookworm · 11/07/2024 01:26

He sounds vile. If you can't stand him, why are you on holiday with him??!

IamaRevenant · 11/07/2024 01:15

Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:30

@IamaRevenant no brass is an old fashioned word for prostitute and really offensive imo.

Well that's really rude then. I would not stand for that and you shouldn't either!

Quirkyme · 11/07/2024 01:10

Your 'DP' is failing in his duties as a partner.

BettyBardMacDonald · 11/07/2024 01:10

How much longer on holiday?

I am dumbfounded that your husband won't stand up for you. Your FIL is a disrespectful pig. And too young to have the excuse of senility.

Don't accept this as normal and don't let your husband accept it as normal. Decent people don't behave like that. Or tolerate it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/07/2024 01:08

You need to set boundaries with both FIL and DH.

"FIL please don't use that language around me" He takes the piss, you walk out without another word. And repeat.

"DH we won't be going on another holiday with a man who calls me names". And don't. Ever again,.

Runnerinthenight · 11/07/2024 01:07

He's an utter cunt. Avoid at all costs.

Original poster
Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 01:05

@Pemba no idea I’m in the south. Thanks all, I didn’t like it at all at the time but have been stewing on it more since everyone went to bed. Will bring it up to dp in the morning it’s definitely the final straw now.

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 11/07/2024 01:02

WTF kind of way is that to speak to your son’s partner?
What an arse. You don’t have to - and shouldn’t.- spend your time around people who are obnoxious.

Pemba · 11/07/2024 00:58

Never heard of that term before (does it come from a particular region? ) but it sounds very offensive. No way to talk to any woman and really weird to say it to your daughter in law!

No it's not funny at all. What is wrong with him? Your DP needs to tell him, and I bet you're kicking yourself, but sometimes when someone says something offensive out of the blue you're just left on the back foot aren't you?

Poor you, trapped on holiday with him. Can you go your separate ways during the day and never go away with him again?

oakleaffy · 11/07/2024 00:55

Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:27

It was off the back of something really stupid…

Basically he did something stupid & usually I wouldnt comment on people’s mistakes but as I say, because he is such a sarcastic know it all I said ‘well that was silly.’ Can’t remember his exact reply but it was along the lines of ‘I know you fucking brass.’ 🙄

Just the fact that he swore shows he is ''not very nice''.

Calling anyone a ''Fucking'' anything is beyond the pale and quite aggressive, but ''F&cking brass is very disrespectful.
Don't take any more of his foul language.

Original poster
Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:49

@AdoraBell I am one or two comments away from calling him out, for sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:45

@BettyBardMacDonald in his late 50s. I don’t think it’s that with dp I think he is just used to his dads vile behaviour and thinks his harmless really.

I was so taken aback by it, even by his standards… I just pulled a shocked face. Kicking myself now for not telling him not to call me that ever again. We are on holiday with them unfortunately.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 11/07/2024 00:44

YANBU. In your shoes I would tell your DP if he father doesn’t stop speaking to you that way you will not have contact with FIL. Or simply reply with - why are such a cunt?

Opinionwontchangeluv · 11/07/2024 00:42

Urgh poor you what a disrespect horrible man, your partner needs to say something

BettyBardMacDonald · 11/07/2024 00:41

What age is FIL?

Why is your partner willing for you to be insulted to "keep the peace " ? Is there a potential inheritance in play?

Why would you not get up and walk out if he called you a whore?

cupcaske123 · 11/07/2024 00:41

Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:38

@cupcaske123 i can’t stand him to be honest, it’s definitely got worse throughout the years though… dp has suggested in the past i was too sensitive to his comments because im not used to him but i don’t think not wanting be called a fucking brass is being precious it’s just so disrespectful and derogatory.

Well your DP can do one with that attitude. Expecting his wife to put up with name calling because he's too spineless to deal with it. He's trying to get you to put up and shut up to make his life easier. Let him know, in no uncertain terms that you won't put up with it again.

Original poster
Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:38

@cupcaske123 i can’t stand him to be honest, it’s definitely got worse throughout the years though… dp has suggested in the past i was too sensitive to his comments because im not used to him but i don’t think not wanting be called a fucking brass is being precious it’s just so disrespectful and derogatory.

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NotDonna · 11/07/2024 00:36

cupcaske123 · 11/07/2024 00:32

OP this is obviously a boiled frog situation that you've become used to. He's an abusive toe rag and you shouldn't put up with that again. I'm furious thinking about it. He's being so disrespectful to you. Your husband needs to sort this out and put an end to it. If it happens again, cut him dead.

This!

cupcaske123 · 11/07/2024 00:32

OP this is obviously a boiled frog situation that you've become used to. He's an abusive toe rag and you shouldn't put up with that again. I'm furious thinking about it. He's being so disrespectful to you. Your husband needs to sort this out and put an end to it. If it happens again, cut him dead.

Original poster
Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:30

@IamaRevenant no brass is an old fashioned word for prostitute and really offensive imo.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:29

@cupcaske123 no I know, it isn’t and I would never call him those names, he is such a monumental wanker… dp is honestly his complete opposite, I know he thinks his dad is an idiot to but I suppose he is trying to minimise to keep the peace. I’ll definitely bring it up to do tomorrow.

OP posts:
IamaRevenant · 11/07/2024 00:29

What is brass??

I assumed you/he meant grass? As in snitch

Original poster
Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:27

It was off the back of something really stupid…

Basically he did something stupid & usually I wouldnt comment on people’s mistakes but as I say, because he is such a sarcastic know it all I said ‘well that was silly.’ Can’t remember his exact reply but it was along the lines of ‘I know you fucking brass.’ 🙄

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 11/07/2024 00:26

Bibbidybobbidyboo1 · 11/07/2024 00:24

@pinkpillowlady yes… I could take you fucking idiot, cow, dick, arsehole… ‘in jest 🙄’ but something about brass really fucked me off!

None of that's acceptable OP. It's not okay for people to call you names.

StrawberryWater · 11/07/2024 00:25

Isn't 'brass' slang for a prostitute?

Yeah I'd be fucking livid and I would not be happy with him or my 'd'p.

In future tell 'd'p that unless he starts handling his father properly you will and it won't be pretty because 'that's just how you are now'.

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