To think dH has well and truly done it for me! Quick responses needed pls!

@Euro24 I don’t know if clubbing has changed but back in my day at the clubs I went to it was all about the music, dancing and friends. It was never about sex. I am both by your standards and mine too old for clubbing! My ex husband pretty much stopped attending clubs where dance music and drugs (and maybe sex)were more the focus not long after we for together - they were never my thing anyway but we still both still went other types of clubs. I don’t think you can/should lump them all together.

Euro24 wasn't hurt.

He got knocked back.

Incel, methinks

Why are you OBSESSED with clubbing 😂 😂 😂 who hurt you

🤣🤣🤣 blimey is it the 1950s?

Are you OP's hubby?

Or just miserable?

Clubbing is about drinking and dancing your tits off. It's about having fun and letting your hair down.

OP needs a break from her relationship and to straighten her head out without some Victorian maiden aunt getting her bloomers in a tizz.

OP, the key to this is learning to enjoy his silent treatments and stop seeking his approval. If he treats you like shit, then that's what he thinks of you. You will not change him, especially by trying to please him. Easy to say, I know, but ignore him and start recording what he says. Your divorce solicitor if not your sanity will thank you.

And note what he says: it's probably just standard misogynistic guff. What does he do to get your goat? It's going to be a short playlist. Try to focus on the kids. They will carry you through. Look at him as a big toddler; when you start finding him funny/ ridiculous you'll have won. At the moment he's winning because he's controlling your moods

Now go out and have a great time.

TBH this does sound a bit like DH and me BUT it never lasts more than a hour. He's really hurt me a couple of times and I've had the biggest apologies from him.

We're currently undergoing a lot of stress and we tend to take it out on each other.

I'm staying because I have nowhere else to go and the good times really outweigh the bad.

It sounds like he's no long invested in your relationship. Enjoy your weekend and don't let him spoil it.

BTW clubs seem to have really changed since my day.

I agree with this, there’s no point in demonising the man as her behaviour isn’t much better

Instead of looking at it as a negative - you've left on bad terms, look at the positive which is that this break has come at a great time - you get some space away from each other.
Don't let him ruin it. Don't contact him. If he contacts you with any bullshit ignore it. Focus on you and your friends. And have a wonderful time!

My ex used to do similar things to me. Even after we split up he emailed me during my brothers wedding in Norway to say I had damaged my kids and didn't ask their permission to go away, even though it had been booked for months. I let him ruin that for me so don't do the same. Enjoy your trip away.

Married with 3 kids and still living like someone in their teens and twenties. I think it's you that needs to grow up.

Clubs are designed to create an atmosphere of hedonism, nobody is immune to that. Even the best of us.

Pounding music, alcohol, possibly drugs, it's all about sex.

Why deny it?

I would go and have time of my life.
Get back happy and shining.
Ignore him with a happy face.
Make him question what happened during a weekend that made you so joyfull.
Happiness is the best revenge.
Once he sees you can enjoy life without him he will either coma crawling back or you can split.

He is sulking because you are going away and he has to look after his children. Go and have a great time.

I do actually, Married 3 kids.

Grow up, not everyone has same tastes as you,
Going to a club doesn't mean you are looking for a hook up, some people enjoy dancing and having fun with girlfriends- its ok even if you wouldn't find it fun.

OP didn't say she is going clubbing could be a yoga retreat for all you know

Exactly.

@Euro24 you are being utterly ridiculous.

Instigating a row to stop you going out to do what exactly?

Seeing family? Abusive.
Daytime lunches with friends? Abusive.
Bookclubs? Abusive.
Helping the old lady down the road? Abusive.

Clubbing? NOT abusive.

Instead of wishing that you have a nice time he wants to make you feel shit. Selfish and mean behavior.

there is a difference between sulking and being hurt, I disagree with comments criticising OP; if someone treats you badly and doesn't apologise should you forgive and forget? i dont think so!!

My exh used to instigate a row before I went out.. Until I stopped going out.. Don't be that woman op.
Exh now and so much happier..

He is upset your going away, and trying to ruin it for you.
Anytime you start to worry get yourself a sod him treat....
Anytime you pick up the phone to beg for his attention write on here first.
Find a happy play list of songs and improve your mood, stop begging him to pick you, because that is what the silent treatment is for to punish you.
Next time an argument starts go the loo straight away. Sit, think, plan. If you react on instinct he always wins...
Enjoy .... you holiday.

Really? 😂

Not really the point but we had favourite djs in my nearest city when we were younger . That’s why the clubs would advertise in advance who was dj-ing.

I know lots of people who are into house and dance who have or had favourite home & international DJs in places like Ibiza.

Just sounds like you go to shit clubs

Some people go clubbing to have fun and listen/dance to music

It’s not naive - it’s called people live and see things differently from you . People have different relationships and marriages to you!

You see it as some horrid meat market, fine don’t go then. Simples. Others see it as a place to go dress up, have fun and enjoy their youth (or reminisce their youth!) and listen to good music and dance so they go then!

If a guy tries to dance with you or comes over you can also decline them the same way as you would in a bar or in the street or the bus or the myriads of places men accost women. Same applies to men - they can reject women too…and the night continues.

Btw, not everyone drinks to get drunk when they go clubbing. Most of my social circle would have a few drinks or not drink at all.

And even the ones who did get drunk never went off with any men unless they were single. Men and women who do that when they’re drunk are likely to have done that when they’re sober too. The drink is just an excuse.

And who has favourite dj's? 🙄

No I most certainly am not a man. I am a woman and nightclubs are not a thing that grown ups in committed relationships do.
It's not even things you do when you really like a guy you're dating because there is no need to go to the meat market.

Even if there is no desire to cheat, music, alcohol and peer pressure all play a part to make cheating happen.

Jeez people are so naive not to see you don't do that shit when married.

His behaviour is no doubt worse because you are going away!
Mentally push it to one side, enjoy your break and face things when you get home!