Help me, my two year old escapes his car seat

It seems that cars are 'toys' in your family and he is getting mixed messages. I think you need to get wider family helping you deal with his frankly dangerous behaviour. Get grandpa to make a big thing of putting on his seat belt so he gets to see even adults have to take seat belt rules seriously. Stop the sitting beeping the horn until he realises that undoing his car seat is just not an option. At the moment I get the impression that you are not really doing anything to make him stop and think about his actions. He may only be two. You want him to make it to 3 safely and if that means no playing in cars, no beeping horns, frankly only being in a car when there is no other option because you HAVE to take him somewhere. When you said in your OP that he opens his sisters seat belt, my blood just ran cold. He's not only endangering his own life is he?

Do you mean the anti-escape system? They may work for some, but we tried this and our daughter could easily get out of it still as she still hooked her arms through a small hole.

Plus it wouldn't prevent opening the buckle unfortunately

Been there so know how scary and stressful this can be! My little girl was doing this constantly a year ago at about 18mths old.I would be driving along and she would suddenly be standing up in her carseat or climbing about in the back, so I would have to urgently pull over! It could happen multiple times on one journey and made going out really difficult until we found away to stop it.

I got a Houdini chest strap (to stop her getting her arms out)

And the buckle cover in the photo below
which was an absolute godsend, to stop her undoing the buckle itself.
Bear in mind though, I had to put the buckle cover on backwards as if it had the popper showing she could still pull it open.
I can't seem to see them on Ebay now so maybe contact the lady (have attached screenshot of details) to ask if she still does them?

It's a faff, messing about with it all every time you are getting them in and out.But definitely worth it for peace of mind that they are safe.

She did it for afew months then the phase passed, so eventually we could remove them and she had forgotten her 'trick' and is now old enough to know she must only undo her buckle once we have stopped.

I think the heavy duty buckle cover from the in car safety centre is a good option in this case. It is designed for children with special needs so it's very difficult to undo. It actually comes with a seatbelt cutter (and sticker to put on the seat) because of how tight it is. Also, look into trying to acclimatise him and distract him in the car - do you know why it is that he wants to escape? Is it the lack of freedom to move, or could the belt be hurting him? Does he have sensory sensitivities?

Would he be open to being allowed to open it, if he waits until you say so, practice this a lot on very short time periods (maybe even with the car seat in the house, for example?) with lots of praise/reward?

When my elder son was 18 months he could undo his car seat and he used to pull my pony tail too. In the end I used to tie a chiffon scarf around the strap. I know it wasn't great because I'd worry what if the car caught on fire but in the end decided needs must. It stopped him from getting out of his seat on car journeys. This was years ago when there was less choice of car seats available.

Not that I'm advocating this as a method. I don't know the answer, unfortunately.

My own 2 year old, years ago, did this. Once he did it before I noticed, and I had to brake suddenly. He hit the seat in front, although he didn't hurt himself. I stopped and told him off and he never did it again.

I think this would work on 3-4 but not 2

so tricky! My daughter did this a few times and I stopped and got her back in etc. then one day (maybe 2.5-3) she undid her belt on a fast road and i freaked!
On instinct I really shouted briefly tbh - I was terrified more than angry - and I think it shocked her. She’s never done it since. Age 4 she still often buckles-off just after we stop the car but for a while she’d keep saying ‘we don’t take it off while driving’
i have no idea if this was a good/healthy approach (it was random) and also if it just worked cause of her nature.
my daughter has suspected SEN - and is very risk taking and also good with locks / buckles etc. Even if yours isn’t you might find some help though SEN parents?
Good luck - it sounds hard

He has something similar. It doesn't stop him from just undoing the buckle at the bottom.

He's around 12 kg now I think, maybe 13 kg.

We have a joie car seat at the moment. I also have a cybex one with the bar.

He forward faces.

Duct tape over the buckle so he can't get to the button?

https://incarsafetycentre.co.uk/products/belt-guard

might be worth looking at this if you have a BeSafe seat

You need a Houdini harness. Special needs children have to use them. They are impossible to get out of

How heavy is he?
what particular seat do you currently have?

Mine used to do this. He grew out of it but it is stressful. You can’t always stop the car and besides, it can turn it into a game.

I stopped using the car when my toddler did this as it just wasn't safe. We switched to walking and public transport and then went back to using the car when she was 3 and she seemed to have forgotten she ever tried to escape. I think it helped that I could interact with her more on trains and read books to her.

I once drove in tears for 6 miles with mine sat next to me on the middle console because she’d undone her seat on a dual carriage way that had all the lay-bys coned off for some reason! Absolutely nothing I’d done with her siblings worked in stopping her.
so in the end I moved her seat into the front passenger seat with the air bag off. Not ideal in anyway but I was at my wits end… she never even attempted to undo her straps again.

Have you tried one of these seats?

@airconne take them all out and turn then back to front so the fastening is on the inside and he cannot see what he is doing.

This is the one scenario where you have to really scare him. Be absolutely furious with him, tell him there will be consequences at home and follow through. Refuse to take him anywhere optional in the car and when he wants to know why tell him that it is too dangerous to let him go in the car. Just putting something over the lock just makes it harder to get him out in the event of an accident. Make him realise that this is absolutely a NO.

https://incarsafetycentre.co.uk/products/buckle-cover I haven't had to use these but have heard this type of buckle cover is very good.

The harness clips that go at the top can impact the safety ratings of car seats so good to check with your car seat manufacturer before using.