Telling teenage dd that her clothing is too revealing

Theres a difference between light/minimal summer clothing, and extremely tight, sexualised clothing designed to draw attention to breasts/crotch/bum. It doesn't matter what you say, that sort of clothing is designed to reveal just enough titillate and its usually impractical.

You have to remember you are imposing what you wear in public on everyone around you and it's not appropriate for a child to be dressed like that.

Yes have used this myself....it gives them some perspective

Well these responses are a nice relief. I was expecting a stream of posts saying women can wear what they like and anyone noting their buttocks hanging out are the perverts.

I often imagine the comedy of men wearing the same brief, poorly fitting ridiculous outfits that girls wear encouraged by the media and their peers. It's vicariously humiliating to see it

Put those shorts on yourself and ask her what she thinks of them.

A local teen learned a harsh lesson when my daughter rather too loudly "mummy I can see that girls labia majora". I was half proud she nailed the terminology and half mortified. Not as mortified as teen girl was tho.

Great idea, love this!

no Buttocks showing ! is a rule here in this house.. with my 13 year old.. the school skirt is a constant battle too.. she does wear dignity shorts under em.. at least that..

Of course you should tell her if her arse cheeks are on show, ridiculous of your ex to suggest otherwise. There is a huge difference between skimpy and simply too small.

You don't tend to see men with their butt cheeks hanging out of shorts, though.

Yes it quite a step further from 60s style hotpants. Even they covered the arse and top of the legs.

I'd just tell her straight. Ask what message she wants to be sending with her clothing, talk about what clothes are appropriate for different occasions, etc. And discuss some hard boundaries (ie no butt cheeks on display).

My niece as wearing shorts at the same age with her arse hanging out. I did not think they were appropriate. It seems like fashion of showing your flesh has gone a little too far. I know all previous generations have thought this but really, where does it end.

She’s 14. You are mum. Quite within rights to say not suitable. She’s a child.
It sounds like a few tweaks and clothes were ok. Maybe agree she needs to try new stuff on to check it fits before taking tags off and you’ll help with returns eg the shorts a size up may have been ok.
Anything showing private parts like bum cheeks or those tight body suits that show camels hoof aren’t appropriate.

That's brilliant 👏 😀

You are definitely doing the right thing. Hell would freeze over before I let my 14 yo out with her rear end showing!

I don't think it is acceptable for a man to be shirtless and I don't want to see a man's bare chest either.

OP let her have her hissy fit. She'll get over it. She's 14 and you're her mum and you're only trying to guide her. She'll come to terms with it eventually.

I have to say I don't understand the trend of girls wearing skirts so short you can see their bum cheeks. It's very uncomfortable. It isn't a case of staring, I am near several schools at either end of my commute and there are frequently large groups of school children. It is in my line of sight to see girls ahead of me on the road and with some of them you can literally see their bum.

It's a shame because the boys look so much smarter. The girls are doing themselves a real disservice dressing so inappropriately at school and otherwise and let's face the only reason they do it is for attention.

My DD (19) chose some awful clothes at 14/15 as did I. I did refuse to buy certain items and said that I didn’t like a few of them. She earned some money pet sitting though so she sometimes spent that on clothes. She did realize that she got unwanted attention wearing them.

Now she’s got a better sense of what suits and fits her.

Surely the conversation is “babe, I can see your bum cheeks, is that on purpose?”
If yes “why on earth do you think everyone wants to see your arse?!”
If no “well maybe put something else on to go out in”

No 14 year old needs to be showing off there arse!! And no one wants to see it either.

What kind of message?

I'm afraid that is you sexualising that 14 year old. Porn? How distasteful

No idea, OP, but it's something I think about a lot- we have really problems at the school I teach at where Senior staff have been very foggy about dress code for Sixth Form and some of them wear ridiculous things but because there's no policy they react terribly when you mention it, accuse you of policing their self expression and perving on children.

They think they're expressing themselves- it doesn't occur to them that someone has designed their outfit, someone has marketed it, lots of people making money from making them feel like having their body on display will make them feel accepted.

Also doesn't ever occur to them to question why clothes shops aren't full of arse shorts in the boys/ men sections...

See I think this is a phase most teen girls go through, I’m 26 now but definitely went through this phase in my teens, so did my sister and all of our friends. My dad used to call them the “I’ll get the shotgun out and wait on the porch” shorts🤣 we all realised quite quickly that it wasn’t comfortable or flattering to wear them and decided ourselves that we’d buy the next size up!

I wouldnt have said anything tbh. We all.know kids go through a trashy phase, it's justnpartnof finding themselves.

When I see teen girls dressed like thank smile and roll my eyes thinking that ota great that they are enjoying their youth.

If the world was full of women, none of us would bat an eyelid. The concern is really abut pervy men sexualising teenagers. I won't support censoring girls just because of dirty blokes.

Your her mother. Be blunt and set the boundaries.