Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Argumentative people? Are you one of them?

39 replies

Scorpionghost · 10/07/2024 18:14

My colleague is so argumentative it’s bizarre. Whatever I say she will just be the opposite. I made a passing comment like “eurgh I hate excel” and she went into a long speech about why she loves it … like ok? I don’t care. Or another passing comment about how I don’t like having meetings scheduled outside normal working hours and again a huge speech about why she doesn’t mind and how it’s expected.

She told me she once debated her boyfriend for 3 hours over the existence of Adam and Eve.

I really don’t get people that love to argue, prove you wrong, debate you. If it’s something racist (for example) then yes of course I would speak up but I don’t care if people think opposite to me, have different religious beliefs, follow a different political party.

I just have no passion to change peoples minds on anything that’s not racist or harmful. Anyone else just love being argumentative and debating?

OP posts:
RomanRoysSearchHistory · 10/07/2024 19:03

Tbh, it sounds as though she's had enough of your negativity and is trying to give an alternative (more positive) perspective. Based on the examples you've provided anyway.
Nothing worse than working next to a permanent whinger, moaning about excel and meetings.
Honestly sounds like she's trying to protect her MH in a way.

Redgreenfroggy · 10/07/2024 19:03

No I am fucking not

Arewealljustloosingtheplot · 10/07/2024 19:01

I don’t get easily offended at all. But i do always seem to see the other side of things. So i probably come across as argumentative but really I’m just working through the options out loud!

it’s one of the worst things about me. I hate it.

Lifeisamysterytome · 10/07/2024 19:00

I'm either I one extreme or the other.
A lot of the time I just go along with whatever the other person says just to get the conversation over and done with.. And afterwards feel stupid for not saying what I really thought.
.Or if I'm stressed or in a bad mood or outraged over something I just dig my heels in and become bloody minded and just argue every detail.
I would like to achieve a happy medium between these two extremes.

Your colleague would annoy me . She'd put me in a bad mood and I'd end up getting really getting aeriated with her I think.

Original poster
Scorpionghost · 10/07/2024 19:00

Opinionwontchangeluv · 10/07/2024 18:54

The worst kind of person is a person who gets offended over everything. They are argumentive and bitter. I stay away from people like that or walk away, she would have got a K and walked off before she could go into one

And she bored me to death with telling me about getting botox, honestly she must have told me 10 times she’s made an appointment for it. Anyway on the day she was nervous. All I said was - don’t worry it doesn’t hurt, you might just get a headache afterwards.

And she insisted that she would not get a headache. Like she’s never had it before and all I said was she might get one, as it’s fairly common.

It’s just so tiresome so have everything single thing you say picked apart.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 10/07/2024 18:58

Createausername1970 · 10/07/2024 18:17

No.

😁😁

Yes, you are.

😀

Myclovkosbroken · 10/07/2024 18:57

Opinionwontchangeluv · 10/07/2024 18:54

The worst kind of person is a person who gets offended over everything. They are argumentive and bitter. I stay away from people like that or walk away, she would have got a K and walked off before she could go into one

I wouldn't say I get offended, just argumentative as the OP suggested, see, I'm sorting of doing it now 😕

Myclovkosbroken · 10/07/2024 18:57

I am a bit, try and catch myself doing it and to analyse why I'm doing it. It's my least likeable trait by a long way and I wish I didn't automatically jump to react that way.

Opinionwontchangeluv · 10/07/2024 18:54

The worst kind of person is a person who gets offended over everything. They are argumentive and bitter. I stay away from people like that or walk away, she would have got a K and walked off before she could go into one

Original poster
Scorpionghost · 10/07/2024 18:53

MiriamMay · 10/07/2024 18:22

Does she argue with you or is she just disagreeing?

Both, you can tell by her tone. But for example, she had to do a sustainability initiative at work with another group of people (I wasn’t involved in it) and she said she wanted to do it on food waste within the company.

I work on the catering contract (she doesn’t) and I’ve have been in numerous meetings about it and so I told her there’s actually isn’t as much wastage as you’d think and you can’t donate hot cooked food, only packaged.

This was to help her out as they’d been considering other ideas as well. And she insisted on telling me I’m wrong … like ok I’m wrong then, I don’t have the energy to argue.

OP posts:
Whatafustercluck · 10/07/2024 18:36

I think political debates are a good thing, so I'll always argue/ debate if I think there's a better way and feel passionate about it. Ditto religious beliefs. I'm respectful of other people's beliefs, but think a lot of damage is done in the name of religion and I find many religions hypocritical and at odds with my own beliefs.

But no, I'd draw the line at arguing over Excel...

MiriamMay · 10/07/2024 18:22

Does she argue with you or is she just disagreeing?

FourLeggedBuckers · 10/07/2024 18:21

Debating isn’t - or shouldn’t be argumentative - it should be reasonable and polite. It’s a good way of exploring an issue from different perspectives and challenging your own views.

Arguing with people is usually pointless. It can be hard to draw a line between challenging racism (or other problematic views / behaviours) and picking a fight that doesn’t need to be fought though.

Createausername1970 · 10/07/2024 18:17

No.

😁😁