Are people just less tolerant of disability accessibility now ?

It's not true ffs. An EHCP does not require a diagnosis.

But at the same time, I've encountered SENCO who were trying to convince me I'm Dyslexic because an online assessment says so. The ed psychologist who assessed me, (I only got an assessment to shut SENCO up) says I can't be Dyslexic because my logic too good.

A SENCO once told me the same and sadly there are some cases where it's probably true.

A Kent Councillor said last year that parents only applied for EHCPs to get benefits which explained a lot of the attitude I got dealing with the school and others which looks to blame parents and avoid any responsibility for the services they are supposed to provide.

https://www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/calls-for-councillors-to-be-sacked-after-comments-on-childre-286923/

Fucking hell, nothing could have been further from my mind. I earn way too much to get benefits.

I'm sorry your son experiences this. I do understand it - I gave an example earlier in the thread of the person who was trying to 'hijack' my airport assistance.

I think a lot of people still don't understand that sometimes people use a wheelchair part time.

Would it be fair to say that some people DO whine? Never heard the phrase 'make heavy weather of things' but I like it, I'll borrow it from you in future. I'm ND myself but some online groups and posters have driven me away from that whole arena. The endless victimhood of a few while simultaneously rejecting any implication that THEIR neurodivergence might be 'milder' than someone who can't talk, can't feed themselves, soils themselves, has zero danger awareness, will never live independently etc.

That was my point really. Some of the loudest voices talking about disabilities and claiming the most accommodations are ironically those who least need them. For example I've seen parents on here in real distress because all the local ND support groups are aimed at children who are a bit quirky rather than their severely impaired child. It's not about disability top trumps as someone put it earlier it's about realistic assessment of impairment.

But you can’t know anyone’s need. Yes if you can leave those seats you should but people need them for a variety of reasons.

my son is 14, if he was out without his wheelchair he would need a seat on public transport, standing isn’t an option for him. He is as entitled to an accessible seat as you and shouldn’t be made to feel unworthy just because he is young.

in my experience with DS sadly the group which is often the most judgemental is those who are older (not all by a long way many are fantastic) and your post screams of the level of entitlement shown by some older people

Interesting that you seem to have forgotten your reference to 'whining'. Plus heavy implication that some who claim to be neurodivergent are either lying, or making excessively heavy weather of things. Hope that helps refresh your memory.

Not everyone has an obvious mobility disability. I don't always use my mobility cane (because for reasons only known to everyone else, I get walked into more) but I can't stand on moving transport.

I’m in my 70s, I have a BB, I also have a senior bus pass. My main disability is mobility, sometimes I use a stick for balance. I don’t always park in marked bays, especially at supermarkets as I can walk pretty well holding a trolley. My beef is about public transport.

On the tram, there are accessible seats for people with mobility issues. There are signs saying the seats are for people with reduced mobility. There are pictures to help those who can’t read, or who don’t read English. So, why do so many people without mobility issues choose those seats, even when there are plenty of others available? Difficulty with walking is a mobility issue. Older age doesn’t necessarily mean disability, but it often brings frailty and poor balance. It’s also pretty obvious. But we’re either ignored or resented by some as boomers due to ‘having it all’!

A big thank you to those people who are aware of need, and react accordingly. It is much appreciated.

I think it is down to this. People boasting on Facebook about everything they manage to get done at Disney thanks to their access pass. Walking straight on, jumping to the front at shows whilst everyone else is queuing for hours, getting on hardly any rides and missing shows. Whether fair or not it’s bound to cause resentment. Is it equal access or is it much better access that actually makes things worse for others.

I was wondering about this, when we visit other countries I very rarely see how people with mobitility needs let alone wheelchairs would get around and in and out of shops.

The Madrid metro for example, some of the stations have lifts but not only is it often impossible to find the lift and it doesnt go straight down you have to keep changing floors and then re finding the lift, but often they were closed and not all stations had them anyway so you might get on at one station easily and then not be able to get out at the other end.
But also, in terms of general getting around, not just Madrid, other Spanish and Italian cities and towns, I couldnt see that the shops were accessible at all, they're all in quite old buildings, with steps in and out, and they're not possible for conversion either, and the toilets are hard enough (and not great) for able bodied people, let alone wheelchair users. I noticed that I see very few people out and about in wheelchairs or with mobility issues that are obvious when we visit places abroad.

One thing I have noticed a lot - and more so as DS gets older - is people treat him different if he is in his wheelchair compared to if he on a better day and doesn’t need it.

dont get me wrong you get arseholes either way but on the whole people are much more accommodating when they can see that someone is disabled.

My partner is now disabled (years of frontline nursing including COVID plus genetic inheritance) and at present we don't have a car. It has really opened my eyes to how bloody awful and difficult it is to go anywhere if you have a disability. This is someone who gave almost 30 years of their life to the NHS and used to be very fit. It both breaks my heart and infuriates me.

You see the same with feminism. We have reached a point of equality in many areas and it means any accommodations for women are highly resented, leading to MRAs and Andrew Tate

This exactly. Femphobia and misogyny is seen a massive increase recently, with increased assaults; both physical and sexual, on women. Never at any stage in history have women had less rights. Seriously and genuinely. We have less rights than we did in the 60s. We've gone backwards, Mens Rights have been propelled forwards. This is especially true if you are a vulnerable female in a wheelchair. Yet males seem to think us women and girls get 'privileges' just by being female. I have never been more scared and felt more unsafe as a female, I stay home a lot and don't participate society as much. This is true for many women and girls I know. Safer to stay home and cut yourself off from society.

I think what's rising is femphobia and misogyny. When a woman in a wheelchair who also cannot speak (but can type) is told by people she has no right to intimate care by a female to change her sanitary pads and if she requests a feme to wash, change her pads and dress her she is told is 'transphobic' and the male trans thug uses his connections to dox her, then sends her, this woman who cannot speak and cannot walk, images of him receiving oral sex from another trans person, that is a double layer of disability. Being a female and being completely defenceless to men. I'm not talking about Trans Privilege/MRAs here, but of femphobia, misogyny and trans terrorism and the rights of a vulnerable woman who is traumatised, can't move, can't speak, needs someone to shower dress and clothe her and change her blood soaked sanitary pads and all for that basic request of dignity, was told she should die and "lucky you can't speak you 'r' " by trans terrorists. Google Henrietta Freeman.

It might seem strange that people could envy refugees fleeing their country, or someone with a disability, but to those who are poorly educated or lacking in intelligence, the simple fact that the refugee has a smartphone or the person with a disability a nice car is enough for them to classify them as " better off then me" and therefore start resenting any help given.

This is very true. It is a shame that those same people do not look upwards at the people taking, and hoarding more than they need to. Instead they turn their attention to weaker, more vulnerable members of Society, whose life is already mostly difficult.

@trekking1

I can't remember the title - sorry

Definitely. The number of people eligible for and taking up opportunities for special access arrangements has increased hugely, both in numbers and scope of disability covered. People were more tolerant and understanding of accessibility for the occasional 'visibly disabled' person than they are of the increased numbers of people who 'look fine' to them. I think if you have a hidden disability and particularly if you have a child with a hidden disability you are likely to encounter people who think you're 'trying it on', especially if your access causes them to have to queue longer for example.

You literally have no idea what I wrote I barely remember myself now. Something to the effect that certain factions of the 'ND community' act as though it's the only 'disability'. As I said I'm ND myself but MNHQ wouldn't be interested in that.

I really don't think mentioning neurodiversity is why that post got deleted.

Do you know what , i actually agree with this. When we visit london with our adult daughter in a wheelchair , with learning difficulties, i have found people to be really helpful and friendly . We use the buses mostly from a base in East London, everyone is so helpful. We go to the theatre and are looked after very well. We visit european countries fairly regularly, france in particular, and find attitudes there can be somewhat backwards. Eg the word handicapped is common, makes me cringe rather.
Back home in scotland I find people often offer help , thank you to the staff at the JLS concert at the castle this week , so inaccessible but they’d thought of everything to make sure we got there! Particularly the lovely lady on duty in the pouring rain at the convoy road . So cheerful.

People tend to be less tolerant of those who they perceive to have "more" than them, be it economically or in terms of education, societal support.

This means that if they see someone who they already consider "privileged" compared to their own circumstances receiving something that they too would benefit from then they may feel aggrieved.

It might seem strange that people could envy refugees fleeing their country, or someone with a disability, but to those who are poorly educated or lacking in intelligence, the simple fact that the refugee has a smartphone or the person with a disability a nice car is enough for them to classify them as " better off then me" and therefore start resenting any help given.

Yes but you'll get deleted for mentioning that. Like I did.

I'm neurodivergent ironically but I've started dissociating from that community because I've got bigger problems than being ND to be honest. God forbid you should ever mention that though.

That's appalling. I'm so sorry that you had that experience.