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Original poster

To tell you that DH has come up bloody trumps this afternoon?

78 replies

AllTheUsernamesLeftAreShit · 10/07/2024 15:46

DH was utterly useless when DD arrived 4.5 years ago and, although he's improved, I've despaired of having a proactive partner.

DD does not sleep. She has surpassed herself this week. Today DH unexpectedly arrived home at lunchtime, announced it was a Daddy daughter afternoon so he was stealing DD and packed me off for a bubble bath with tea and chocolate. He's emptied the dishwasher, tackled the clean washing mountain and wiped down the kitchen sides. Apparently tea is in hand so all I need to do is decide whether to read my book or watch a box set. He's even told DD he needs some special time with her so wants to do bath and story, so I'm off the hook for bedtime too.

I'm genuinely made up. He's nailed it, identified exactly what would help me most and just made it happen!

OP posts:
Lifeisamysterytome · 10/07/2024 15:51

This is brilliant OP.
Really nice for you and such a pleasure to read something positive on MN.
Well done your DH.

DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 10/07/2024 15:55

What an unexpected joy. I'll bet your DD and DH will love the time together but crucially you get a break!

AquaFurball · 10/07/2024 15:56

Which ever Pod people replaced your husband, send them far and wide!

Seriously, that's genuinely lovely. Hope he makes it a regular habit for everyone's benefit.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/07/2024 15:58

Half a day of relaxing makes up for 4.5 years of being "utterly useless"? What a hero 😂

Enjoy your afternoon OP but I think your bar is set pretty low

NoSquirrels · 10/07/2024 15:59

Good man. Enjoy your afternoon.

OrlandointheWilderness · 10/07/2024 16:04

OP stated her Dh was 'utterly useless' 4 and a half years ago, not that he has been useless for all of those years.

Glad you are having a nice afternoon OP.

Original poster
AllTheUsernamesLeftAreShit · 10/07/2024 16:04

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/07/2024 15:58

Half a day of relaxing makes up for 4.5 years of being "utterly useless"? What a hero 😂

Enjoy your afternoon OP but I think your bar is set pretty low

I'm not going to derail this thread with bickering, but I think you've missed the point so I'll explain myself more clearly. DH has listened to the feedback he has received on his behaviour, learned from his mistakes and has reflected on that learning and applied it to our current situation. In doing so, he has responded perfectly. It's called progress, has made me very happy and indicated that the work we've been doing on our relationship is yielding dividends. Well done that man.

OP posts:
Trainntrack · 10/07/2024 16:06

Sounds bliss. A bubble bath (alone) is one of my favourite rare treats - even better with chocolate!

crumblingschools · 10/07/2024 16:08

Hope he continues in a similar vein

Advent0range · 10/07/2024 16:09

Wonderful to hear. How refreshing!

caringcarer · 10/07/2024 16:12

How lovely. Hopefully your DD will tell him she wants to do this again.

cunningartificer · 10/07/2024 16:20

Excellent work! It's lovely when someone responds to feedback positively and creatively. So great to think up what would de stress you rather than asking you ' well what would you like me to do ' which leaves you with the mental load! Sounds lovely for you all as he also gets quality time with his daughter who is now seeing a better role model than before!

anonhop · 10/07/2024 16:21

You have a good one there! Not just for this afternoon but for listening to what you need & being thoughtful.
MN can be full of people complaining about their husbands & tearing them down, so I love a positive story!

pikkumyy77 · 10/07/2024 16:22

Lovely! Especially the way he has structured everything as a joy rather than a duty!

Youngwheezy · 10/07/2024 16:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PartyPartyYeah · 10/07/2024 16:26

@Youngwheezy i have read absolute nonsense on here before but this wins the utter shite award!

ExtraOnions · 10/07/2024 16:26

Man takes on responsibilities, that women does everyday, and we are supposed to treat him like a god?

He needed the basic responsibilities of being a parent, and a partner, pointing out to him .. and after “reflection”, behaved like an adult.

How low is the bar set, that this is something to be praised ?

BroadbeanMama · 10/07/2024 16:29

anonhop · 10/07/2024 16:21

You have a good one there! Not just for this afternoon but for listening to what you need & being thoughtful.
MN can be full of people complaining about their husbands & tearing them down, so I love a positive story!

She hasn’t got a good one, a good one is a man who steps up from the day his child is born and isn’t “a bit useless” until his wife has to remind him that he has responsibilities. She has a man who is willing to change the error of his ways and that is something I guess. It’s lovely that he has recognised the right thing to do and acted like the dad he is supposed to be but it is sometimes irritating to see an entire post dedicated to the bare minimum from a dad when I would prefer to see an entire post dedicated to the OP who has presumably taken the brunt of her child’s poor sleep.

SallyWD · 10/07/2024 16:30

Well, I think it's lovely OP! Yes, he was useless before but as you say, he's learned and changed his ways. Yes, he did the jobs that you usually do but he's working as well so it's not like he's usually sitting around doing nothing. It was very thoughtful of him. I'd say the same if a woman gave up an afternoon so her stressed DH could relax.

AdoraBell · 10/07/2024 16:32

Enjoy your afternoon and relaxing evening 😁

DisforDarkChocolate · 10/07/2024 16:32

Always take the wins that show progress.

PrincessPheebs · 10/07/2024 16:33

I know this is supposed to be a nice thread and I’m happy for OP that your DH has taken some jobs on (for half a day) but it makes me really sad that we’re happy a man is doing the bare minimum. These are just basic life admin tasks that should be split surely?

identified exactly what would help me most and just made it happen!

But surely he will also be eating dinner, the washing includes his clothes and the dish washer his dishes? He’s hardly done something amazing here

ultracrepidarianna · 10/07/2024 16:33

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/07/2024 15:58

Half a day of relaxing makes up for 4.5 years of being "utterly useless"? What a hero 😂

Enjoy your afternoon OP but I think your bar is set pretty low

This. I can’t believe this post. I really can’t.
I’m not in the UK but jesus some of your bars are so utterly low it’s scary.

ssd · 10/07/2024 16:35

Brilliant.

Conkersinautumn · 10/07/2024 16:35

So one day out of 365x4.5 he parents. Yeah that sucks.

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