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Original poster

To tell you that DH has come up bloody trumps this afternoon?

78 replies

AllTheUsernamesLeftAreShit · 10/07/2024 15:46

DH was utterly useless when DD arrived 4.5 years ago and, although he's improved, I've despaired of having a proactive partner.

DD does not sleep. She has surpassed herself this week. Today DH unexpectedly arrived home at lunchtime, announced it was a Daddy daughter afternoon so he was stealing DD and packed me off for a bubble bath with tea and chocolate. He's emptied the dishwasher, tackled the clean washing mountain and wiped down the kitchen sides. Apparently tea is in hand so all I need to do is decide whether to read my book or watch a box set. He's even told DD he needs some special time with her so wants to do bath and story, so I'm off the hook for bedtime too.

I'm genuinely made up. He's nailed it, identified exactly what would help me most and just made it happen!

OP posts:
NewName24 · 10/07/2024 16:58

Ignore the people who struggle to see the positive in anything.

You've been really clear what you are celebrating.

I hope you enjoy the day and hope there are many more to come.

Tandora · 10/07/2024 16:57

Man takes on responsibilities, that women does everyday, and we are supposed to treat him like a god?

This 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻😭😭😭.
I’m happy for you OP, but maybe not one for social media?

Dreamingofgoldfinchlane · 10/07/2024 16:56

OP I'm glad you're having a lovely day because it sounds like it's long overdue. However, I can't help feeling sad that you think such a small amount of effort is so worthy of praise - you deserve so much better than this. There are lots of wonderful men out there who are true equals with their partners.

Alwaystimeforacupoftea · 10/07/2024 16:54

My husband was fairly useless the first year after my first dd's birth and I started to wonder if I'd made a huge mistake choosing him. Once he got going, though, he's been fab- does all the 'wife work' stuff people say Dads don't do, of buying shoes, taking them to ballet, school the whole lot as well as looking after both kids by himself, even taking them on holiday by himself. I can't fully pinpoint what changed, I'm just glad it did.

Crunchymum · 10/07/2024 16:54

What are you doing to tackle your 4.5yo child's sleep issues?

Is there a medical reason she doesn't sleep?

You must be on your knees?

AcrossTheOceanMissingHome · 10/07/2024 16:52

Bignanna · 10/07/2024 16:39

Good for him! He might continue to do this, and what he needs is praise and encouragement, not criticism!

Praise and encouragement? He's a grown man who is a partner and father, not a toddler or a dog.

If I praised and encouraged my partner for emptying the dishwasher and parenting his children, he'd think I was being sarcastic or I'd lost my mind.

ultracrepidarianna · 10/07/2024 16:52

I showed this post to my son (21). He just walked slowly away.

ExhaustedHousewife · 10/07/2024 16:51

Christ some people are easily pleased.

Screamingabdabz · 10/07/2024 16:49

Joking op…

Screamingabdabz · 10/07/2024 16:49

SleepingStandingUp · 10/07/2024 16:47

I think op is just taking the win. After a lot of being a crap husband,he's finally being less crap. She's allowed to e joy that in her bubble bath. The true test is tonight and tomorrow onwards.

Show quote history

Yeah that’s when he admits guilt for the affair… 😂

Drizzlebizzle · 10/07/2024 16:49

Man parents his own child, does a bit of housework and puts tea on for one afternoon/evening. Advice above to praise and encourage him 🙄

PollencaCalling · 10/07/2024 16:48

MushMonster · 10/07/2024 16:46

Congratulations!
Well done to him!

Enjoy your free me time OP 💐💐💐💐

I’ve heard it all. Well done to him for occasionally doing his duty of being a parent after being ‘useless’ for years?

I’m glad I have a higher bar than most of the posters on this thread congratulating him for doing the bare minimum.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/07/2024 16:47

ultracrepidarianna · 10/07/2024 16:33

This. I can’t believe this post. I really can’t.
I’m not in the UK but jesus some of your bars are so utterly low it’s scary.

Show quote history

I think op is just taking the win. After a lot of being a crap husband,he's finally being less crap. She's allowed to e joy that in her bubble bath. The true test is tonight and tomorrow onwards.

Screamingabdabz · 10/07/2024 16:47

Let’s all clap for a man putting a dishwasher on.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

ultracrepidarianna · 10/07/2024 16:47

He even takes turns taking days off when she's ill.

Wow. What a man. 😂

Kittea · 10/07/2024 16:46

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/07/2024 15:58

Half a day of relaxing makes up for 4.5 years of being "utterly useless"? What a hero 😂

Enjoy your afternoon OP but I think your bar is set pretty low

Yep.

MushMonster · 10/07/2024 16:46

Congratulations!
Well done to him!

Enjoy your free me time OP 💐💐💐💐

DaisyChain505 · 10/07/2024 16:46

I find it utterly bizarre that you’re all celebrating a man for being a parent and partner.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/07/2024 16:44

Here's hoping it continues, he doesn't assume he's getting sex tonight and he doesn't revert to prior behaviour. It's good he's hearing you op

PollencaCalling · 10/07/2024 16:44

He hasn’t ‘come up trumps’ or ‘nailed it’. He’s being a parent, exactly what he signed up to when you had a child together. What’s next OP? A well done prize for cleaning the bathroom? 😵‍💫

Original poster
AllTheUsernamesLeftAreShit · 10/07/2024 16:44

Bignanna · 10/07/2024 16:39

Good for him! He might continue to do this, and what he needs is praise and encouragement, not criticism!

I quite agree. And actually I do say in my OP that things have been improving. This isn't the only time he has ever parented DD, done some washing or emptied the dishwasher. He even takes turns taking days off when she's ill. But he has managed to rearrange his work to take an afternoon off with no notice, given me a break from DD and made sure I don't waste it doing housework by just doing it himself. And I didn't ask for any of it.

I stand by my comments that he's done well 😊

OP posts:
ultracrepidarianna · 10/07/2024 16:43

Bignanna · 10/07/2024 16:39

Good for him! He might continue to do this, and what he needs is praise and encouragement, not criticism!

Is he a toddler or a grown up man? Should op clap her hands too?

MorrisZapp · 10/07/2024 16:43

Bignanna · 10/07/2024 16:39

Good for him! He might continue to do this, and what he needs is praise and encouragement, not criticism!

Fuuuuuck my life. Are men actual children?

ultracrepidarianna · 10/07/2024 16:42

BroadbeanMama · 10/07/2024 16:29

She hasn’t got a good one, a good one is a man who steps up from the day his child is born and isn’t “a bit useless” until his wife has to remind him that he has responsibilities. She has a man who is willing to change the error of his ways and that is something I guess. It’s lovely that he has recognised the right thing to do and acted like the dad he is supposed to be but it is sometimes irritating to see an entire post dedicated to the bare minimum from a dad when I would prefer to see an entire post dedicated to the OP who has presumably taken the brunt of her child’s poor sleep.

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Exactly. He stepped up, but it’s still the very bare minimum. Wiping the kitchen surfaces. I bet he expects to be praised for it too.

WelshNerd · 10/07/2024 16:42

Save discourse on how patriarchal societies fail us all for another day and just take the win.

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