Help rid me of this weird woman - please!

I think she sounds either bipolar or just very very lonely.

How much time does her husband spend with her. Have they moved to some rural idyll and whilst her husband is getting out and going to work his wife is left alone in the house and probably doesn’t see anyone apart from her dh who might not interact with her that much from one day to the next.
So when she does go out she feels like she has to do a fortnight of talking and laughing and communicating in a few hours because she knows she won’t see anyone till the next week at least. Which comes over as completely unhinged

If she is lonely in her position I think getting a job or moving to a city would be better for her but I doubt her dh would as he is probably very happy with his work and life in general

if she is bipolar I wonder if her meds need changing

You really like labelling yourself don't you?

That behaviour you describe here, makes you sound unhinged, sorry!

If she invites you/wants to join you at the pub again, I would just say something like ‘think we’re just going to go and have a quiet evening at the pub tonight - just me and DH. Had a busy week at work and want to just chill on our own tonight.’

Say that every time until she gets the message.

OP I knew a person like this, said human thought we were “friends”. They would ask to catch up a lot and had very similar views to your neighbour. At one point I decided to end all contact by ignoring their communications but they never got the message and actually turned up on my doorstep out of the blue.. needless to say you must be polite but FIRM

Grey rock her.

@Justcouldnotbitemytongue

Not your circus, not your monkey
The woman is not your problem,disengage .
Your partner might be friends with hers ,doesn't mean you have to be her friend
My partner played sport, the men were a team they had a connection..... The wives girlfriends and FWB did not, I never understood pretending to care and didn't. I was there to watch the game not to chat shit with people who didn't interest me so I didn't! Obviously one of two were fine but the majority nope, no interest in being their friend.

This. Slow fade. You just became very busy. No explanations needed. Remain polite and civilised with her in case you bump into each other. Do not bad mouth her if it’s a small community. She’ll eventually get the message.

She actually bought a prostitute for her eldest son, as he has mild learning difficulties and she didn't want him going through life as a virgin... 🙄)

Well this is horrible and illegal surely 😣

Anyway, OP - she sounds awful. I’d probably tell her straight I wasn’t going to be spending time with her if she keeps being
persistent but normally I’d do a slow fade.

And to the poster who said we should be more compassionate of MH issues, has it occurred to you that someone like this is causing mental health issues for others?

Can’t be nice for the OP to spend an evening with someone who has such views or what about the person behind them in the bar if she overheard what her making comments about them appearing trans? This is clearly the kind of woman who offends and tramples
over people at every opportunity so spare us the MH excuse.

It’s offensive to decent kind generous tactful people with actual MH issues!

😂😂😂

ive just moved away from seeing a neighbour, felt they were only using me to let their dog out while they were at work, i had to keep coming home from where i was, to letb the dog in their back garden, then it wouldnt wee on their fake grass, just avoided them, missed a text off them think she got the message, big girl knickers on give it to her straight, you want a night out with your husband and some peace

What does this even mean?

You can only excuse so much with “Oh but mental health tho”. The OP hardly even knows this woman! Why is she expected to pander to her?

Sorry I missed off fox hunting.

Some might call that keyword stuffing.

It's a very old expression.

My grandmother certainly used it and she was born at the end of the 19th century.
And it's been in common use in my family all these years.

I thought fox hunting had been banned?! If not it should be, it's barbaric... But anyway, I digress!
I had a "friend" similar to this, DH's oldest friends girlfriend (we became a foursome on every night out, when I met now DH). She was also insufferable. Created drama with strangers in pubs and dragged me into it all. Every time! It was both baffling and embarrassing! I got fed up of apologising and being on edge every time we went out. She wasn't even on drugs, she just didn't give a shit! After a couple of years of this, I declined nights out with them. Luckily, they split up after getting married and having their third child. (She actually bought a prostitute for her eldest son, as he has mild learning difficulties and she didn't want him going through life as a virgin... 🙄)
Complete nightmare, I would definitely make myself unavailable, she'll soon get the message! Some people are just born without any filter or sense of right or wrong! Avoid at all costs!

She might have all the money and he works for pleasure.

She might not be able to work.

She might want to work but he might prevent her.

She may have worked before and took a buy out.

Or, or, or.

Too many assumptions.

Ones person's opinion huh!

she sounds like there is something not quite right?

either way, not your problem. Just ignore. no point having a confrontation. if you run into her, just tell her you've been busy.

Yes, if she said she "hadn't been out in ages", this bodes well for not running into her, particularly if you've said you're not going out.

This is like some sad messed up bingo where she appears to have 4 corners topped up to a full house when you add on behaviours.

• migrant hater
• benefits hater
• trans hater
• conspiracy theorist

For real OP?

You can be mentally unwell AND a horrible person - the two aren't mutually exclusive. I would argue this woman already has a lot more support in place, than the vulnerable people she apparently hates. Does she deserve more? Possibly, possibly not. But it's definitely not the OPs responsibility to provide it, particularly at the expense of her own comfort and happiness.

@Ayebutnaw yep

My husband had a friend with a girlfriend who sounds equally annoying, though in a different way. She dragged me off to the toilets (or my bedroom if we were at our flat) to go on, and on, and on about her boyfriend and how other women are constantly 'coming on to him' (doubtful). My H told me repeatedly she needed a friend so I was guilted into being nice to her. It was painful to be frank. It became apparent she was on crack almost every time too (literally not figuratively).

Thankfully she eventually decided I also fancied her boyfriend (no way!) and they both blocked us both.

Moral of the story, don't try to be some form of support to someone you don't like. Step away!

@Justcouldnotbitemytongue must be great being you, OP! Surely someone possessing as much cultural and social capital, as you, doesn't need to start a thread to seek advice on how to avoid a person, so seemingly not on your level? 🙄