To feel angry at how few people make a plan for their own old age

Why are you angry? Why do you care so much about other peopes business?
What effect will it have on you?
Will you be wiping their arses?

Agree. Best to plan ahead - doing things like downsizing, agreeing to outside help and de-cluttering are not just helpful for the elderly person, but an act of kindness to the middle aged daughter who will be obliged step in at some point. She has her own right to a life.

Have a plan for when you can't look after yourself. I don't accept "something will turn up" as a plan.

The problem is there isn't much to be done to 'have a plan for that, except to have several thousands of pounds in the bank to pay for care when you need it. What else is there?

Have a child? The OP seems to be a great example of why that's not a plan.
Make friends? What, younger, healthier friends so they can take care of you in old age? Who's going to want to be that friend?
Start a commune and hope you're one of the first to get infirm so the others can shoulder the work?

What is this magic plan the OP thinks can be made to provide care for yourself when you no longer can - if it's not money. Lots of money?

On the flip side, billions of people have got through old age before me. Some easier than others. Something always comes up - even if that something is death.

That's what you think! At any moment in time you could be incapacitated and people would be looking after you, whether you like it or not.

Shouldn’t we wait and see whether Labour will actually fill us in honestly about the shit show that will be the public finances ?

I suspect the OP (or someone they know) is facing eldercare being forced upon them and they have no say over it.

I take the view that people should live their lives as they wish, so long as it doesn’t impact others. What happens with lack of planning is that, in a crisis, it’s usually a middle aged daughter that has to step in. The daughter knows that it’s a matter of ‘when’ not ‘if’.

Yep. Yes.

I have been thinking of ways I could think more positively about my 22 year old son dying in 2022 lol lucky sod didn't even consider his old age plan but luckily he died before he had to bother with all that stuff, obviously I'm joking and before anyone starts lol my son would have made the same jokes about me as we have (had) the same sense of humour lol but yeah I don't think most people have the luxury of planning out their old age because they are trying to stay afloat in the other ages lol personally I hate the thought of being old and needing 24/7 care so hopefully I pop off before that happens but knowing my luck I will end up in the Guinness book of records for reaching the oldest a person has ever been lol

Actually I kind of agree with you. My gran spent the last 7 years of her life miserable. She barely ate, her fingers fused because she didn't move, had no intetes and no conversation and ended up bedbound. My grandad had been dead around 15 years at this point and she'd just had enough and wanted to be reunited with him. It would have been kinder to have killed her then leave her in misery.
This wasn't about money or not having a plan though, just someone who'd had enough

The harsh reality as you get older is you realise how little you can plan.

Why do you feel angry that other people don’t have a plan. How does that affect you to the point of anger.

lol, love all those saying plan. My neighbour had everything planned from his 20’s until old age. Then he contracted Motor Neurone Disease.🤷‍♀️

Life often lobs a curve ball.🙄

messages here broadly fall into two categories:

• rights of individuals to live as they wish
• fear of losing one’s own life because of having to care for others for extended periods of time

I take the view that people should live their lives as they wish, so long as it doesn’t impact others. What happens with lack of planning is that, in a crisis, it’s usually a middle aged daughter that has to step in. The daughter knows that it’s a matter of ‘when’ not ‘if’.

I think that, within a decade or so, this kind of fear will subside because future generations (the very same daughters who had to give up work to care for relatives) will not have the means to suddenly go and live in a large, rural property.

Remember about half of people earn less than £15 an hour. Trust me the issue is not perfect houses and expensive cars.

I would love to plan for old age…but I’m on disability benefits and we struggle to make ends meet as it is. What am I supposed to do?

Its always well off people who post this crap. Most if us are just trying to survive and have some fun.

I don't know but I do know its devastating and terribly sad to be the one that has to accept the decline and denial.

@NonPlayerCharacter

OptimismvsRealism
Guys, you do know a lot of us will be sitting developing bed sores in nappies for years? Why are you all fine with this?

It's unlikely to be for years. If you are that frail and vulnerable, it probably won't be for very long.
--.....................
Not sure that's correct.
Maybe there are some nurses who can clarify.

I am terrified of old age. I am an only child, have no children, and of course no nieces or nephews either. I am quite likely facing old age entirely on my own.

I am only 37 but I have started planning:

• I am saving to live in a retirement village. There is a lovely one local to me. They have levels of care from independent living, supported flats to (if need be) dementia care all on the same site. It is extremely expensive, so I am careful to put some money away towards it every month. I am currently on target to be able to afford to live there.
• I have a side business going alongside my regular job and this brings in extra money which I save.
• I am planning to try to get another couple of side jobs and streams of income going in the next few years to further future proof my financial position.
• I am actively trying to get involved with activities (groups, volunteering etc) to make friends. I am hope this might help with the loneliness that I may be vulnerable to in the future. I am also planning to set up a group of my own around one of my interests.
• I am trying to make friends who are in a similar position to me (i.e not much / little family) so that we can form our own kind of 'family' and support one another as we grow older.
• I try to take good care of my health. I have a healthy BMI etc.
• I am taking up some new hobbies which I hope can help keep me occupied when I am older (painting and crochet are on my radar at the moment).
• I will (in the next few years) be drawing up a will and also investigating options for appointing a power of attorney (most likely a solicitor).
• I am decluttering a bit now and trying not to acquire more 'stuff' - which is also a good way to save money!

I am not sure there is much else I can do. I am extremely worried about not having a loving advocate and facing loneliness, but I just hope that being able to afford care in a highly rated retirement village means I am not as vulnerable as I would be at the mercy of state funded care. Who knows though. It is a huge worry.

Phew, for a moment then I thought you meant others making the decision to euthanise the old folk op.
Imagine....mum, dad, come on you old buggers, off to the knacker's yard we go.

It would be easier if euthanasia were available on demand and I really hope it soon is.

This is exactly what the OP means. This is part of the propaganda offensive now beginning for people to kill themselves before they "become a burden".

Legalising "assisted dying" is class war against the poor and the sick.

We have not seen so much open contempt for vulnerable people since the Nazis. Who used to publish magazines calculating how much money the nation was spending to keep disabled people alive and asking if it was really worth it.

How old are you?

Super advice.
Having just gone through this with mil.
Luckily the whole family pulled together and mil did have a sort of plan.....,but with hindsight it could have been so much better had she followed the advice above.
Fil successfully down sized now -
Everything falling in to place - he's in fairly good health and we ready - this time - when things get too much for him.
I think people always think - it won't happen till me ....

It's complicated.

People are generally in denial about their own mortality and what screams going to die more than preparing for your old age?

Then the fact that a lot of people are living hand to mouth and it's hard to put a few pounds away for retirement when that few pounds may be all you have to put on the electric that day. When you are struggling to meet your immediate needs, your future needs understandably take a back seat.

Then the fact everyone has grown up knowing about the state pension and people believe that the government will provide for their retirement.

So denial, affordability and assumptions mainly.

It's a bit like someone saying I had a lovely birth experience, or I sailed through the menopause. There is a chance it might be grim, but