To think that my child daughter can have equally awesome childhood as I did?

To be fair the OP hasn’t stated that this is exactly how she will be parenting. She has raised concerns about the way as a society we are so much more protective of children than years ago and asked for a discussion about it . Which is a valid topic . I don’t plan on giving my son the amount of freedom I had when he is bigger, I just can’t imagine it.but I think it’s a shame in a way, kids just don’t roam around having the same outdoor adventures the way they used to. There is nothing wrong with having a discussion about this topic. And we are all a bit naive in a way before a child arrives .

Not sure it is a case of being reasonable or not. Society has moved on. I was raised in an age before the gaming systems entered mainstream. Playing out in the street with friends until the street lighting came on was usual, as was cycling to places a couple of miles away from home from about age 10. Older siblings looked out for the younger generations (whether they wanted to or not!). Parents were respected and we lived by their rules or faced the consequences of being 'grounded' - the ultimate worst punishment of hearing friends playing out, whilst you were tidying your own bedroom.
My own children were not raised in this way, because of the digital age and change of times. My DH and I consider ourselves relatively liberal parents, teaching our children right from wrong and reminding them to make 'good choices' when they have decision making power. The population of where we live has increased more than 10 fold since my childhood and life is tougher nowadays in lots of ways.

lol that’s so funny about the chariot.

Do you let your daughter cross the M25 alone? No.
Everyone has feelings of nostalgia, that's all this is.

I know! To make matters worse, I tried to report it to the police and was put on hold for ages and eventually abandoned the call. In the end, dh went and read the wanker the riot act. He cleared off, but men doing stuff like that often graduate to committing worse sexual assaults. People like Wayne Cozens. 😡 Parents are absolutely right to take appropriate precautions.

Kid in my school did climb the electricity pylon and touched the live. He did survive, mostly intact but not entirely complete.

My friend's kid would be the same age as me but ran out from behind an ice cream truck.

It's all a balance.

My brother used to climb electricity pylons in his early teens. And take acid with his mates and once got stuck when tripping and fell down a hole in a massive ten high block of hay bales around the same time. And I used to ride on the roof of my dad's van as he zipped round country roads. Let's not even get into the 'chariot' my dad built for my dog to pull me around in as a small child 🙈

It was all fun and games at the time but maybe not the safest of choices!

You've been given some pretty sound advice here, some of the best being to wait and see what it's actually like being a parent, and who your child is. I would add that you might want to be mindful of parenting TOO differently from those around you. I appreciate that you will have your own parenting values, as we all do, but if your child's friends are more what you might think of as 'mollycoddled', your own child may well compare you unfavourably to their parents, may feel pushed away or uncared for. That may feel monumentally unfair when you're just doing your best (like everyone else is), but it might be worth bearing in mind. I've seen this in action (I'm a teacher) and it's such a shame for all involved. There are plenty of ways of helping your child develop resilience and independence which don't involve the scenarios or approaches you've described.

What a serious over reaction. Neglected ?

Op I do think it’s naive that your child will eat carrots instead of sweets until age 7 unless you are extremely protective, don’t let them go to parties etc . But I agree with a lot of this post . I remember I used to walk all around town with my friend when I was 10. We used to go into building sites too and mess around climbing on scaffolding and all sorts. It was fun but a bit dangerous looking back. I never see kids out playing now. Just loads of empty trampolines and slides in gardens .

It is still like that where I'm from (other than the not eating sweets). Unfortunately where I live now it seems to be a lot more sheltered. I'm pretty sure my further kids will be considered neglected 😅

Here’s the thing OP with the best will in the world you will have a child who is their own person regardless of all your big plans. As ab example I was an avid reader growing up and I have done everything to pass that love on to my daughter.. the library visits and the magazine subscriptions the endless books but sadly ( to my mind) she is not interested at all. You may well end up with a nervous, shy or anxious child who cries at the drop of a hat and how are you going to cope with that. Until such time as you’ve actually tried it for yourself I would strongly suggest keeping your opinions about your marvellous parenting abilities to yourself.

I'm a lot older than you and an 80s kid who was allowed the typical freedoms but I didn't enjoy sports or playing outdoors. I was happier at home reading, writing or playing with my toys. I socialised but preferred playing with friends at their houses than running wild.

My point is that your child might have a completely different personality than you and enjoy totally different things. You can't be so prescriptive as to follow exactly how things panned out in your own childhood.

You might have a child with SEN or other difficulties. I think you're also getting way ahead if you planning all this. The first two years of having a kid can be brutal - just aim to get through those before planning out a lifelong plan for your kid. You need to be responsive to what they're like as an individual, not what you want them to be.

What a weird oddly braggy post.

Sounds like you had a rather neglected childhood, not a lovely one!

Each to their own I guess.

Times have changed a lot. As a child, we could just get on our bikes and go wherever we wanted and be out for hours with no way of being contacted. It was quite a free time.

I actually gave my children a fair amount of freedom too. Probably more than they actually took because they had a lot more technology than I did as a child and they often would rather do that indoors. But they still did have a lot of unsupervised play outside without parents hovering.

As my user name suggests, I'm quite old and all my friends and I had a great deal of freedom when we were children. Much more than I see today's children have. Nothing to do with neglect, or not being loved. It was different times and different parenting styles. We didn't look to our parents to entertain us during the long holidays, or at the weekends, nor did we expect them to. In my friendship group we would do whatever our chores were, and then we would play out most of the day until it was time to go in for lunch or dinner. However, times change and today's parents are much, much more involved in their children's lives, and no doubt when these children become parents, they will have their own methods.

You win OP. You had the best childhood and you know best.

Also... you clearly didn't have an average Lithuanian/Eastern European/English childhood if you had an au pair and a nanny 🙄

Well do what your parents did if that's what you want. Let your daughter walk to school alone at 7. Tell her to go out all day and not tell you where she is. Don't allow her any sugar. Tell her not to cry or make friends with children who cry (not sure how crying makes them a trouble maker). If that's what you want to do.
Obviously I'm being sarcastic. You sound so judgemental of parents, despite not being one just yet. You give appropriate independence based on age and understanding. I got criticism for letting my 10 year old walk to school alone. My sister couldn't believe I let my young teenagers go down town alone.
So yes some parents are OTT but it's easy enough to give independence if you want to.

Lithuania in the late 90s/early 2000s isn't comparable to 2024. You know this. It's probably why you moved! (I say that as a fellow immigrant to the UK.)

How many kids in Lithuania are having the childhood you had, but right now in 2024?

By the way, it is okay to cry. I hope you won't teach your child not to cry. Not being allowed to express emotions isn't good for kids.

Whilst I understand what you are saying OP, with respect when your baby is born I think you will change your mind on a lot of things.

I think the epidemic of anxiety we are seeing in teens and young adults currently is partly a result of having very “controlled” childhoods where every hour of every day is lead through prescribed activities at school and then leisure time with parents who are chauffeuring them about and ever present.

Most mammals have a childhood that involves free playing in groups and that is what we are missing nowadays. Children learn how to cooperate, trust in themselves and each other, and how to temper aggression through play.

Learning is not as effective when done second hand or through a screen.

We have some farm animals and it’s amazing what dc of seven years old can do and how responsible they can be. I realise it’s easier to teach independence and responsibility in that setting, but generally speaking, people underestimate children’s abilities and have too low expectations of them. And dc as a result get bored and frustrated and doubt their own competence.

I was very 'judgemental' as a Pregnant mother...Had ideas on what I would and would not be doing...I actually thought that when our child was sixteen that he or she would be off our hands and living their own independent life!

I remember telling Mum and she side eyed me.

When the child is landed, one is smothered with an instinct to keep them safe -{I was at any rate}
The ''independent by 16''....that is just comically bad.

The theory of being a parent is easy.

The ''Practice'' is hard.

{I also never imagined that my husband would leave...I thought we would be together for life} 🤔

You had a nanny and an au pair. So your parents didn't actually do much parenting.

Yes! Well done for throwing the rock.

Being flashed at is horrible.

They do it to scare.

A French exchange girl who grew in Paris and near the Spanish border said she too had similar experiences - seems men can be universally gross - Flashing at children.

There were many more derelict places back then- Lots of development had yet to take place.

This film is amazing... the London that Nobody Knows... It features the rougher image of London, including the back yard where one of Jack the Ripper's poor victims lay - how different London was back then, and so few high rise buildings.

Kids ran around in ''gangs'' but they weren't the ''stabby'' druggy type gangs.

Instead are the ''Dodgy Alcoholics'' that OP mentions...Meths men.

www.dailymotion.com/video/x5h8w0m

while my neighbours helped stitch me up until my mother returned home from a bit of shopping.

How's the concept of safety not explained to them since the age they can run?

Why did you cut yourself? Why did you fall over? Why didn’t your parents put forward the concept of responsibility to you?

And why did they abrogate responsibility for their wounded child so you had to rely on your poor neighbour?