To think that my child daughter can have equally awesome childhood as I did?

Why not?
Both mine were potty trained by 2.5, completely dry during the day. And it only took about a week for them to get the hang of it.

Again, wait until your child is here before making judgements. Potty training before you can walk and sleeping through the night from two months is...... Unusual 😆 Every child is different so if you go into parenthood expecting a robot baby /child, you'll be sorely disappointed.

To clarify, 5 is late but I would not recommend potty training a child under 3.

Early potty training can create many issues. Look up Dr Steve Hodges if you're interested. I changed my mind after listening to him.

God speed. I hope you train your human to be exactly how you want it 🙏

My kids had eaten the occasional sweet but never had Macdonald's til they were maybe in juniors and went to parties, so I don't think you are weird OP and definitely not neglected as others have said!

I totally agree with you OP. My younger teen wants to play out more but other parents are terrified of them taking a bus, playing outside without supervision in case they get "snatched" or attacked or filmed, it's holding back their independence imo, we've gone wrong in this country and it's not only giving kids anxiety but it's not allowing them to grow.

The aforementioned activities were meant as examples of being out in the world thinking for themselves about different situations, which with your dismissive stance, you probably wasnt privy to

I do agree with some aspects of your post. There is definitely a lot of helicopter parenting going on. People are afraid to let their children take risks and that I think is contributing to this generations children being more anxious and more risk averse but also probably less fit, less agile, less competitive (because God forbid we actually let children experiencing losing at anything!) and less streetwise. I think they are having a loss less fun and freedom. I also agree that children aren’t as welcome on our streets and green spaces anymore which is sad.
I do however think some parts of your post are odd and probably not a reflection of most people’s experiences. I’m a good bit older than you and I think it would have been unusual for a child not to have tasted sweets or have any concept of them until age 7! I would say you had a lot of freedom, possibly too much, from too young an age.
What do you mean when you say you just wouldn’t hang around with the kid who cried because it was embarrassing? It sounds like you are almost applauding having a lack of empathy and possibly suggesting that this approach could socialise kids out of being ‘difficult’. Like children didn’t behave in certain ways because it meant no one would play with them. That’s an overly simplistic way of looking at things and suggests a real lack of tolerance. Todays kids are more aware of difference and I think that’s a good thing.

Agreed depends where you live. I am in a small village in Scotland and our kids play outside at the park or down at the woods. Some of them have phones some of them don’t. Most of the children will have to cross a road to go out to play or walk to school on their own with no traffic lights or lollipop person.

Your post sounds rather judgemental and written by someone who “would never bring up their child like that.” Perhaps wait until baby arrives before making such judgements.

The problem is that the childhood you describe is likely better for society ( in terms of producing more useful people) but comes with higher collateral damage, hence most parents prefer to provide a much more sheltered childhood because they ( understandably) can’t bear the thought of anything bad happening to their kids.

This is nonsense. You get the child you are given with its own personality. Independence means different things to different people, so does strength, so does self fulfilment - what the fuck is that? - another word for smug?

Independence might mean sleeping in their own room finally at the age of eight because of nightmares, or a three year old happy to go to nursery on their own after a struggle. Or Independence might mean your child screaming blue murder at the swimming pool when you want them to learn swimming and they are terrified and saying no to you. Now that is independent thought. it doesn’t mean going to the shops for your mother at the age of minus eleven and freedom isn’t skipping for tadpoles.
And half the computer programmers in the world found their freedom online.

Aye? Eye!

It's more risky now than ever when the kids go to nursery. Outdoor play with huge reels they climb on and jump off. Mud kitcken with real utensils and my favour (not) a work bench with real hammers saws and drills. So much of it is free play with no structure and little safety

Wtaf is this post

That!

OP I'm glad you had a nice childhood. Good for you.

I grew up rurally, roaming wild, out all day in the summer. We had a great time. Then, the year I took my finals, I was home and a boy was snatched in our town. His body has never been found but we now know what happened to the poor child. The people responsible were responsible for 6 or 7, possibly more appalling child murders. And the accompanying damage to the community reverberated for years. So let's not pretend danger doesn't exist. It is worse now, more drugs, knives, county lines, on-line scams and extortion

My ds has as good a childhood as me, but is better cared for. I make no apology for that.

@LemonViewer this is a great post.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jul/11/how-to-be-a-norwegian-parent-let-your-kids-roam-free-stay-home-alone-have-fun-and-fail This article made me think of this thread

I'm glad you had a positive childhood OP, that's great. One thing your post lacks a bit of though is an awareness of diversity of children's personalities and perspective, probably because you haven't seen it first hand yet. I think a common misconception of people who are yet to actively parent is that you will have relative control of how they turn out. If I just parent this way they will turn out this specific way I desire them to be. I thought this too, I saw family members that had kids rigid with schedules around lunch and naps and wondered why they wouldn't chill out a bit. My kids were going to learn to fit around me and my DH. Ha - now we laugh together at how naive we were! Children are unique, one child has an independent streak and wants to work it all out themselves, while another will benefit from more reassurance and guidance. Your child might be shy, timid, hyper, energetic. They might sleep through from day 1 or they might be up through the night until age 5. They might grow to love outdoors, exploring, muddy walks, or they might prefer to curl up with a good book. You don't know until you take that journey with them. I have two boys. My eldest will dive into any chaos, constantly tripping up but equally resilient picking himself up and getting on with it. He is sociable and not fazed by trying new things. My youngest is more cautious, assessing his surroundings before heading into new territory. In a way I have to watch him less, he has a more natural sense of danger. We will see how that shapes in terms of his independence, we will encourage him and support. He is tidy, even as a toddler there is a neatness to him, the other is like a tornado as he is full of ideas. They are both different, and I am parenting them equally. You can parent any way you want, but your child may interpret things differently depending on their personality. There is no one size fits all.

When I was a child, I was ferociously bright: a genius. I thought my son would have similar cognitive aptitude early on. I imagined he’d be much like me.

He is fucking nothing like me.

My advice is, OP: wait until your child’s here. Once they are, I imagine your hands will be more than full and you’ll have no time to fret the idealistic, unrealistic utopia from several decades before which, ultimately, exists only in your mind.

It's completely a different culture here and now. I grew up in another bit of FSU maybe 10-15 years before you did in Lithuania. You may have felt independant and alone, but I guarantee you would have had far too many eyes on you. Neighbours, omnipresent old women sitting about, tower block wardens, bus conductors etc. I expect anyone that saw you out and about felt entitled (and felt a responsibility) to point out your transgressions whether that was not wearing a hat or behaving badly. I remember hanging out in a cafebar after school and suddenly one of the staff bundling us all into the kitchen because a "bad man" came in who liked young girls. When life is harder, people look out for each other more. England now is individualistic and fractured. No one will tell a teenager (or younger!) off because they worry they might get stabbed, or have the parents angrily turning up at their door. Even teachers in school are wary of telling children off. I came home once to find a random old woman telling my mother she had seen me drop litter. I never did it again!

It can feel claustrophonic sometimes to be constantly scrutinised. But people behave better when they feel observed and this makes society safer for everyone.

Finally few children whined (for sweets or anything else) since we all accepted it would achieve nothing. Scarcity was so fully understood and accepted. Crying for sweets was a luxury childhood behaviour. When whining doesn't pay, kids stop doing it. The worst whiners are the kidds with parents who give into it.

I also had a childhood of playing out with other children on the street, we’d be climbing trees and making dens and cycling around. We’d know where everybody was because there’d be a group of bikes left nearby. I am 30 so this was in the 90’s/early 00’s. My mum was at home though, she didn’t go out all day and leave it to neighbours to patch us up if we hurt ourselves. I think that’s odd, letting your kids out and then disappearing. Letting your 7 year old wander to school alone because they were being petulant sounds neglectful/can’t be arsed parenting. I was allowed to walk to school aged 10, with my brother who was aged 12. I was also allowed to cry and hang around with children who cried 😄

I too completely disagree with @Ozanj and @Poplarmoth that it was neglected childhood. Although the no sweets and the crying child sounds odd. I was completely loved and cared for but spend all day off with my 2 older brothers and loads of other cul-de-sac kids on our bikes and building dens all day and only came home for my dinner in the summer holidays. That was very much the norm back then.