To be jealous of DH work routine?

If moving nearer work is out, there's a few tweaks you could make to help. Most would require throwing money at the problem, but it sounds like you earn a lot and otherwise love your job, so worth it to avoid burnout.

Keep a number of gym kits at work, cut down on need to change/was hthem other than weekend. Or if work not suitable to store them, paid for locker at gym. I'd say the same for evening outfits/shoes. If you're a city worker in high paid job surely storing things at work is possible.

The planning meals every weekend sounds a drag. Could you do a healthy meal kit delivery some weeks, cut that out. Also then avoid the preparing food with dh, use that as time to chill. Or alternatively just don't join him for the meal prep.

This is the biggest throw money at the problem, but occasionally book into a hotel in the city for 2 to 3 nights per week right by your work, cut out the commute altogether for short periods.

Sometimes you're so in your routine and resigned to your fate that it doesn't even occur to people that some minor changes could make a big difference. You can't put a price on health. The fact you love your job but need an outlet on here for the additional stresses it brings, would tell me you need to make adjustments now before it becomes overwhelming.

I get it OP. It feels relentless. Some of my colleagues WFH permanently and I can’t due to slightly differing role. Long commute, exhausted by end of day.

Can you drop one day a week and take a pay hit? Condense hours so you get one day a week/one day a fortnight off?

Stay overnight closer to your job a couple of nights a week to lessen the commute impact on you?

I don't get the point of being envious when this is a role you have chosen?

I totally agree with this!

The thing is, this level of wfh is relatively new so in the pre-Covid days, you'd likely to both be out of the house and you'd deal with the downsides because (mostly) everyone would be in the same boat.

As they say - comparison is the thief of joy

Doesn't your DH get isolated / lonely/ find it hard to focus all day / miss rl colleagues? There's a lot of
Pluses to wfh but surely there are downsides too

If you're earning oodles of cash could you move closer?

Or rent a weekday room close to work so that your commute is much shorter?

I agree though it's probably a case of grass is always greener.

I hope you're not also doing all the donkey housework on top of this.

Sorry I forgot to add - the reason I ask about children it means you can move to central London etc without worrying about schools and other constraints.

Move closer to where you work.
I assume you're not planning on children if there is a very large age gap?
It's quite good to not be WFH, lots more socialising opportunities and this is very handy if you get end up single.

You’re on £80,000 MORE than him- and you’re complaining about a commute?! Jesus op, I’m not sure you realise how good you’ve got it! Presumably he’s earning pretty well anyway, especially if he’s well skilled and working full time. It’s not long ago when the vast majority of office jobs involved dressing smart and a commute.

I work 50 hours a week for my wage of £65,000 and I count myself incredibly lucky. I can’t WFH either but my driving commute is short. The money you’re on, AND the fact it’s your ‘dream job’ makes you much luckier/more savvy than 99.9% of the rest of us. Either get on with it and enjoy it, or make changes- the ball is entirely in your court.

I only work 5 minutes away from home (although have to do the school run first) and nowhere near as high flying as you but have a similar issue with DH.

I am at work 5 days a week and then several evenings (volunteering). DH WFH most days and does also do the volunteering too but as he is 'relaxed' during the week and athough working has time to do all his little errands, chill, and therefore isnt really having any 'social' time by the time the weekend comes around he is despearte to go 'out' for a long hike or do something whereas because I have been out of the house all week and having to be 'on' I just want to chill and also catch up on all the housework, shopping, admin, laundry I havent had time or energy to do in the week. He then thinks I am 'boring'

You love your work, the industry and your extremely high salary but resent getting up at 6am 5 days a week?

sometimes people don’t recognise how fortunate they are. You sound extremely lucky - not to say you don’t work hard I’m sure you do- but come on.

That’s true, I do sometimes get away with a rewear on trousers and always on cardies but I’m a messy bugger, so tend to fail on the rest!

Why don’t you move closer to your work? My friends who work in jobs like yours all live close (walking distance) to work so there is no issue with public transport. Honestly, that’s the solution.

I take it you don’t have DC so you don’t have to think about schools.

And before you add oh DH loves our house - my friend moved from a large house to an apartment to reduce her husband’s commute and said it improved everyone’s life.

Move closer to work.

I work from home part time and couldn't go back into an office again. It's absolutely draining so I get where you're coming from.
I don't love what I do but I literally stay in the role because I love the benefits of working from home!

In the meantime, plan your rest and downtime so it is religiously factored in to your week.

That's the trade-off OP.

Use it as the stepping stone that it is and you will reap the rewards later.

It will come to an end and your next dream job will be that which you wish for.

Could you learn to drive and get a car? Then you wouldn't have to rely on public transport and carry everything everywhere.

Changing jobs isn't an option, I've recently landed my 'dream' job so I'm not going anywhere, I love the work, the industry, my salary. I just like not to get up at 6am everyday.
That's not your dream job then as it requires you to get up early and never work from home. You may enjoy the actual work but this is not your 'dream' job.

I'd be bored WFH full time. Use some AL and take one day off at the end of the month over the summer and have it to yourself. That's what it's for. Get some gym stuff for home so you can cut that out?

Laundrywise, when I used to work in the office, I swapped outfits daily but then I'd re wear one of the combinations unless I got them really dirty i.e. food down them on a second day, i.e. Monday and Wednesday. Things got easier when I decided to work compressed hours and I took a day off on a Thursday.

If it makes you feel better, my DH also works from home full time, has long lunch breaks, works fewer hours than me, has much more flexibility.......and earns 4 times as much as I do.

It's not his job to compensate for her choosing a job with a long commute and lots of evening events.

What an entitled and very much upper class whinge.

Spare a thought for 90% of the rest of the world slaving away in physical jobs for peanuts. Lots in the UK are doing night shifts and weekends for minimum wage and hard physical jobs with no hope of any progression. Meanwhile you get to swan in to the city in your very high paid dream job, and have the gall to moan about it because you have to get up early. Get a grip.