Wearing a skimpy bikini around teenage son

I agree with everything you have said here!

@HappierTimesAhead I don't know really where to draw the line. I don't have all the right answers. I am not trying to be difficult either! It's just something I think about as I see more and more women my age shoot themselves full of filler, while their fat old husbands age naturally and happily.

And yes, none of this is relevant to the OP, but it set me thinking anyway, as I have a DD, and think about these things probably more than I should?
I too woud like an aperol spritz on a beach.

I think clothes for women and girls are just about as practical and comfortable as they have ever been throughout history and we have a much wider choice of mainstream acceptable clothing and ways to express ourselves through clothing than men and boys do.

To add, in places like Brazil, thing is the norm and has been forever.
It does depend on what you’re used to.

I’ve never given it much thought until I read this thread but I know my son would find it uncomfortable.
although I am in no fit state to be seen in a thong bikini …
having read some of the posts as a clean but overweight menopausal woman, I am now wondering if all these love island types have any special skill to stop them being stinky!?
I would be incredibly self conscious about leaving any body odour around on sun loungers etc, how do people stay so fresh and pristine?
especially those wearing all white or just some sort of crochet affair 🙈

Wear your bikini with pride but a thong? Absolutely not, they look disgusting!

It's also clear that a lot of men and women have deep seated internalised misogyny about men's clothes being the default perfect of modesty and appropriateness in dress code and that women's clothing is inappropriate, sexualised and transgressive unless they dress more like a man.

Whether an item of clothing is sexualised is entirely in the eye of the beholder.

Thank you for proving my point with the cycling example!

Both male and female competitive cyclists wear lycra (its to reduce drag by being streamline, there is a sporting reason for it). The same for both = not sexist!

A sport where men's wear is practical for the sport, but where women's wear predominates in tight impractical clothes = sexist!

And like I said, I've noticed now that seeing this difference between tight clothes for girls and loose practical clothes for boys starts even in little kids in play grounds.

I think its all a bit rubbish.

But where do you draw the line on what and what not to wear to avoid not falling pray to dressing for the male gaze? Do we all shave our heads, wear no make-up and wear a beige sack? Should I avoid wearing anything with a frill or anything slightly form fitting?

I'm genuinely not trying to be difficult, I just think that so much of what women do is policed and wearing a thong on a beach is such an insignificant personal choice, on which the future of feminism does not rest.

The OP specifically asked about wearing thongs in front of her teenage son, not about wearing them on a beach as such.

Yes, unclench is what women are always told by men when they object to porn aesthetics. Not relevant to the OP really, but in general.

Hear bloody hear!

And I don't want to wear clothing designed for men at the beach either thanks very much.

Let's all go topless but wear long baggy shorts, I'm sure that will be fine.

I wouldn't have shown my bum cheeks to my teenaged sons - there are just some things that you don't do.

This!

So much bloody hysteria and 'men conforming' comments.

It's swim wear, not a pornhub shoot. Chill out and unclench.

Also - how to tell me you do not go to the gym or play any sports without telling me you don't.

I have always exercised and played sport before and after the advent of lycra and I can tell you IT IS A FUCKING GODSEND.

I can remember hardly being able to buy any gym, running or sports gear for women in the late 1990s, and football gear - just forget it. The choice was extremely sparse. I used to end up buying small men's shorts and generally lots of loose, unflattering, uncomfortable stuff.

As I understand it, men are expected to wear tiny Speedos in France because of hygiene, and because they were wearing the same shorts they wore all day. They are not expected to wear it to look hot for women. Therein lies the difference.

I find it quite odd that women who wear hijabs are considered to be doing what men tell them to do, and women who wear thongs are being boldly independent and empowered.

You've never seen a male cyclist then. Or a man in Speedos at the beach 🤔

Ahh, to be sitting on a beach sipping aperol right now.....☀

Indeed.

Yes they do. I'm not arguing with that. But an awful lot of the wear for women is tight lycra ( I actually get all my stuff from charity shops and its nigh on impossible to find non-lycra for women in their sports stuff). But not for men.

The only reason for lycra sports wear I can think of is for appearance, to hold in and up your stomach and arse and thighs. Rather than for any actual sporting benefit. The predominance of this wear for women but not men, does rather say loudly to women, its all about what you look like. Much like even at Olympic levels, men's wear is more about practicality and women's more about being revealing.

That disparity is not on, in my book. Its pretty obviously a structural, cultural sexism.

Absolutely, there is a wide range in between. My point was who decides what is and is not acceptable. My personal view is it is up to the individual. Every choice we make is influenced by social conditioning that has happened since birth. Just because we have not yet achieved equality does not mean I am going to avoid wearing a small bikini on holiday.

And on the question of 'what is expected of men' in the same situation, go to a French campsite and see the men who have been ordered to wear teeny tiny budgie smugglers.

It's not like shorts or joggers for women don't exist though? Like you did have a choice?

Ok, I've just arrived at the beach (in Europe) and can confirm 95 percent of women are wearing thong bikini 👙
From breastfeeding mums, to older child women. No one is leaving the beach in fear, everyone is chilling and enjoying an aperol in the sun. Which would do a lot of people on this thread the world of good!

Well yes, I've really noticed this recently. Was at a play park with my kids and noticed that all the boys were wearing loose, comfortable, practical clothes. All the girls but one were wearing tight leggins, and even those highly sexually leggins with the stitch up the arse crack to show off each arse cheek.

And I thought, hang on, why, even at these very young ages are the boys in comfy loose cool clothes and the girls in tight shape revealing clothes?

Same in running. I started running and bought leggins and then noticed, hang on, this is really hot and uncomfortable to run in - it holds heat in, doesn't let air circulate, holds in the wet and cold when it rains. This is crap. And then I noticed that men aren't wearing tight lycra to run in. They are wearing loose, comfortable, practical clothes. But women are much more likely to be running in this uncomfortable, tight impractical clothing.

Its all a bit rubbish.