To be upset with SIL & MIL re pregnancy announcement

i think they have both been incredibly insensitive given your situation and I would feel the same as you. The whole thing could and should have been handled in such a way that gave you time to come to terms with the situation.

I wouldn’t want to speak to them about this as it would too upsetting, but I would hope that my husband understood and would be able to speak to his sister and mother on my behalf. I would be very disappointed in his lack of support. You are absolutely not overreacting.

I’m sorry you’re going through all this and wish you the very best for the future.

YANBU to feel hurt. I think it would be much better for DH to talk to MIL about how insensitive her comments have been (and that excitement about a grandchild does not mitigate her remarks). I agree with CrimpNStraighten, that now doesn't seem like the best time to talk to SIL.

Good luck with your journey OP.

It's difficult, your fertility and IVF are at the forefront of your mind at all times, whereas SIL being pregnant is at the forefront of hers and (assuming no awful backstory) simply didn't think. That said, she did message rather than gather you all around for an announcement, so you did have time to read and absorb the information before dealing with it.

MIL should have definitely been more sensitive, and I would probably find a way to mention it to her when her words sting a little less.

Bloody hell, that "finally" from your mil was horrible.
And yes, messaging you beforehand would have been thoughtful of your sil.

Just to add that I probably would not say anything to your sister-in-law as she might say that you have ruined her pregnancy excitement. I do think it would be reasonable to speak to your mother-in-law about the hurtful wording, however.

In their position I would never post my pregnancy news like that. It would have cost nothing for sil to tell you privately beforehand. And your mil’s wording was awful.

I was so sensitive to my friends with fertility issues when I fell pregnant. It’s not that damn hard to be kind and tactful whilst still celebrating your own news.

good luck OP with your journey.

You are not being unreasonable - I can relate entirely to this post. It is entirely possible to be happy for them but still be sad for yourself and no heads up prior to public posting, especially as you’ve been so open with her, in my opinion is completely lacking in empathy.
one thing to mitigate here is I do think for ppl going through fertility issues and ivf go through a very unique kind of trauma that is all encompassing but also very difficult for people not experiencing it to fully understand, as they have never had to consider life decisions about kids being taken out of their hands. I don’t personally think that excuses such lack of empathy, especially of close family, and insensitivity but you can’t change it.
i am very sorry, i know EXACTLY how you feel!