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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you’d be offended if you were gifted…

31 replies

musingmondays · 09/07/2024 11:19

Just this, nothing else. Family member gave it to me and didn’t say much other than ‘picked this up for you’

It’s one of those hair masks in a bottle which describes itself as intensive conditioner for damaged and frizzy hair. The last time I saw this person I had straightened my hair but it had rained so my hair probably was a bit fluffy. They wouldn’t usually give me things like this and nor would I them.

I thought it was nice all afternoon but now I’m wondering if they were making a point! I don’t care enough and not particularly offended but just curious what you’d think if you received the same and whether I’m being overly cynical

YABU - will have just been a nice thing
YANBU - that’s probably them making a point nicely!

OP posts:
Original poster
musingmondays · 09/07/2024 12:13

MonsteraMama · 09/07/2024 12:12

This is the sort of random gift I get from my mam. In fact I have a tube of deep conditioner she gave me only a few days ago.

I know her and I know it's her way of trying to be helpful, so I don't take offence. If the relative doesn't have form for nit picking at you/your appearance I'd just let it go as them trying to do something nice.

They once bought my sister a self help book on how to be a nicer person, which is why I’m not as sure 😂

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 09/07/2024 12:12

This is the sort of random gift I get from my mam. In fact I have a tube of deep conditioner she gave me only a few days ago.

I know her and I know it's her way of trying to be helpful, so I don't take offence. If the relative doesn't have form for nit picking at you/your appearance I'd just let it go as them trying to do something nice.

Sondheimisademigod · 09/07/2024 12:09

Gifted is a special ability, not a bastardisation of 'to be given'

LauderSyme · 09/07/2024 11:31

Given all the context you've written, I think it's likely they perceived you to have an issue with frizzy hair.

It's not so much about making a point to make you feel bad, I don't think, but to be supportive in helping you address what might be a problem.

I guess that could be considered offensive but I would try to focus on the 'trying to be helpful' aspect!

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/07/2024 11:24

I’d find it a bit odd to be given without context, i.e. “last time I saw you the rain had frizzed your hair, I find this helps my hair when it rains” etc; but I wouldn’t be offended, no. Hair being frizzed by humidity isn’t something anyone has any control over, it’s not some sort of personal failing. If somebody close to me had a product that helped them, I’d take it as just them trying to do a nice thing.

Mrsjayy · 09/07/2024 11:22

I think you are over thinking it don't think about it anymore and use it or not.