to think that in a functional household....

I grew up in a house where we always had breakfast together and it just made a really nice start to the day even during the teenage arguing years. Obviously depending on work patterns it's not always possible .. but I do the same for my DC. It's not about pandering to them but just being a friendly support.

Before he died a few years ago I was staying over night with my DPs and had an early start, at 90 my Dad still got up, made me a coffee and drove me to the station (I am over 60 and it was a 10 minute walk!).

Yes. We were always up as a family - so everybody up - everybody getting ready for their day. Parents on hand if any of the DCs needed something. That was our "normal".

Wow! That’s unbelievable.

I think functional is a harsh thing to say about your ex op. Ideally he would but if he’s a good dad in many ways, I’d let it go.

Mine get up before me as they both like to get up at 6 and have long showers and chill before school. They are 13 and 16. I get up at 7 as I can't get into the bathroom before then anyway. TBH I think once the kids are old enough to sort themselves out, it's not really an issue, but as I have to drive mine to school and then walk dogs and start work, I have to be up anyway.

I have a teen and nearly teen..

They are both quite independent and are perfectly capable of getting themselves up and ready for school. We have an evening routine of making sure all things are ready for the next day.

I do have to be up (sometimes before them sometimes after and when they are nearly ready to leave) as I need to drive them to the bus stop/school. Works for us, every household is different. Sometimes I get up at 5am and start working from home, I think it’s been once that the teen slept through the alarm but they were recovering from a bug.

My husband works shifts so he’s not always home on a morning.

My 8 year old can gets herself up and dressed, sometimes makes her own breakfast. I don't need to remind her/help her in anyway. I could literally wake up 5 minutes before we need to leave and she'd be ready. (I don't but I could)
I can't imagine needing to be up with her when she's at secondary and making her own way. I probably would be but would hope as a one off I could sleep in.

I don't think parents of that aged children needs to be up to send their kids to school. I know quite a few parents who are already at work so kids get themselves ready. However staying awake all.hour of the night to play video games is a different concern.

On my days off I still get out of bed and have my breakfast whilst DS (14) is having his. It's a nice, quiet time and we talk about the day, double check books/timetable etc. I don't get properly up and dressed until later though. On my work days, I have to be up before him, otherwise I can't get in the bathroom.

I have one 15 yo at home. He gets up before me. I get up while he's getting ready and make him pancakes and potter about.
I don't need to make him pancakes, but it's nice to do.
He's more than capable of making sure he's got what he needs, though if there's something out of the ordinary (exam, sports event) I might double check with him.
I wfh so can kiss him goodbye as he leaves for the bus.

Now and again I am out early and he's fine to sort himself out. I am glad I am here though, they need you in very different ways as teenagers and it's nice just to be around.

Good on you. You're modelling good parenting for if/ when she has children of her own. I think the idea of a child setting off on the commute to school without seeing a parent before they leave, or only to go up to say goodbye to a sleepy parent in bed, is just wrong.

I rarely saw my parents before school they were both at work when I got up.
I got myself and my sisters and made our lunches and got my sister to our neighbours who gave her a lift to school.

Of course it is always nicer when you have someone to make you a drink and breakfast and wish you a good day but it's not essential. Maybe a pick your battles issue.

But mostly I got up because I like to see them off to school. My mother used to stay in bed until I'd left for school, and it made me feel a bit uncared-for, I suppose (although there were many other reasons why I felt like that anyway), so I've always got up for my dc.

I'm the same. Dad was always out for work already and my mum would stay in bed sleeping in when we got up and out for secondary school. I found it a bit lonely to be honest and looking back I find it sad. It's different if you're out at work already but lazing in bed rather than having a chat with your children in the morning just feels like setting a rubbish example. I fully accept my own experience has impacted my views on it but mum would also have said back then "she's a teenager, she's capable of getting up and sorting herself out." The truth is it made me feel like she didn't really give a shit and that she was lazy.

I've always been up with my DC. Not to sort things out for them, but to be around, have a chat, breakfast with them etc.

Young teenagers are going through an extremely hormonal transitional stage in life at least until 16. To asume they don't require attention in the mornings is to my mind wrong. Unless you have to leave very early for work or do shifts there is no excuse. I say YANBU OP

Depends on the kids, depends on the kids' ages too.

Plenty of kids manage just fine if their parent(s) have left for work very early, or if the parent(s) are still in bed after a late shift. I know my siblings and I did, and we never missed the bus and were always in uniform etc.

However, if the parent(s) are are around and working normal shifts etc. then it doesn't set a great example to be snoring in bed rather than up and doing. I'd also worry about whether that parent is pulling their weight (assuming they live with a partner) in terms of domestic duties if they're up all night playing games and then sleeping in.

When I was 15 I had to catch train at 6.30 twice a week because school started at 7.30. I never expected my parents to be up at that time. We had plenty of opportunities to chat in the afternoon/evening. I actually really enjoy silence in the morning.

My son is 12 and hates me flapping around him in the morning so now I just let him crack on. He is fiercely independent.

I am always awake when he's up though - either drinking a coffee peacefully or already started work at my desk (WFH).

We always say goodbye/I love you before he leaves for school.

I still get up to see my two off for the day and they're late teens/early 20's! I don't need to get up before them to set the house up or whatever that means but it's to see them off and wish them a good day. Mind you, I'm awake at stupid o'clock every morning.
If he's working from home, I don't think it's unreasonable for him to be getting up and seeing her off, especially as he would, I presume, be starting work not long after.

I was always up and off to work by 7.15. However I checked they were awake before I left and on my days off if they were in school I got up with them.
No, you don’t have to but now with adult dc I’m so glad that I did.

It’s 11 years since my dc lived at home. Enjoy every moment, it’s quiet without them around.

Also it depends what sort of person you are. I have loads more energy in the mornings.
Evenings DD makes the dinner often, suits me better that way!

If your child wants you to get up with them, then fine. I think it's a lovely thing to do. I wonder how many of these teenagers are humouring their parents and would be happier getting ready alone.
I think sometimes it's more about what the parent wants and needs. Some parents need to be needed and probably enjoy mothering their kids in the morning, more than their 15 year old kids enjoy it!
By the way, I'm a little guilty of this myself. Not so much in the mornings but in other ways I definitely do too much for my children.

Depends on the child.
Ds(12) wakes up before me, but that's because he wants to set his alarm earlier so he can have some time online before school (has to be dressed and eaten breakdowns first). I have to be up to wake ds(15) because he just sleeps through his alarm, although once awake is left to get dressed, make breakfast and get himself to school on time whilst I watch the news and get myself ready.
When my eldest dc was a teen, she went through a phase of meeting her friends early in town for breakfast before school so was getting up at 5.30 and leaving the house at 6.30am. No chance was I getting up before then

YANBU to feel this way but really you can't impose your own parenting strategies on him.

He's a 'good enough' parent by the sound of it, and your DD gets nice morning time with you. She's OK and will be an adult in a few years.

I've never been a morning person and always hated my parents fussing around when I was trying to get ready on school mornings. Much preferred to be left to my own devices!

Is your dd happy with the routine at her dad's? If so then just leave it.

If not then maybe encourage her to speak up, she's 15 and should be capable of talking to her dad about it

I always get up.

DD is now just 16. Take her something to eat and drink and make her a small snack for school. Of course she can get dressed and get herself organised, and does, but GCSE year (equivalent, I live in another country) was extremely tough and moral support and making sure she ate properly was important and my job.

She got max marks so it must have helped a bit.

I feel so sorry for teens in exam years who are overlooked, it is so stressful what with everything else they are coping with.