Being so tight with money?

I was very 50/50 with my ex, he had spreadsheets etc. but even he wasn’t THAT bad! Jesus H Christ….

Please please leave this man...
Under no circumstances have a child with or get married to this man.
I had an ex like this..we were living together and he earnt more but he would go thru the food shop with a calculator working out who used more of what and charging me accordingly.. he'd split petrol with me even for going 5 mins down the road.. and he'd wrote out receipts as well.. for fkn £2.50 or whatever the petrol cost! Absolutely astonishing levels of tightness..
It goes hand on hand with a deep lack of trust and with paranoia usually.
And you cannot trust someone who doesn't trust you.. you cannot truly bond with or form a supportive partnership with, someone who deep down believes you are there to use him and rip him off... regardless of you having spent money and time on him.
Honestly please listen to people on this thread. This man is incapable of a proper relationship. His tightness with money runs deeper psychologically.. he doesn't trust you.. he's out to protect himself... and as a result will end up letting you down massively.
Please find someone emotionally healthy to form a partnership with. I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes, but there are decent loving men out there you don't need to settle for this bollocks.

Get rid. And why do you keep paying for meals and holidays?

Ever watched “Still Game?” You’ve got yourself a Tam. My BIL is the same. Run, run, run! Life will be utterly joyless with someone this miserly.

Your boyfriend is in no way shape or form a partner

Seriously , you have admitted theres niggles more then this, dont ignore gut feelings

You were 26 when the relationship started, very young. It may not have been obvious what a prize tosser he is, but that is what he is, and we can all see it, and now you can too.

Walk away. Almost any man is better than this one.

Runnnnnnnnnnn

do not have children with this man.

Was he brought up in grinding poverty and then got fleeced in a divorce or some such similar back story?
He clearly enjoys the benefit of having/keeping you around. Saying 'I love you' is pretty cheap.
Saving money is normal but totting up and putting his hand out for £2.50 is bonkers! Why is he getting worse?

Life is too short for this miserly nonsense. And for the love of God, do not have a child with this man!

What will you do @Rockrose94 ? you can already feel yourself eroding.

Get out now is my advice. My DD was with someone like this. As parents we had concerns from very early on in their relationship but said nothing, he’d come to us for dinner for example and literally hoover up any scrap of food left on plates, always asked for any leftovers or extra, more bread, you get he picture. We were very kind to start with thinking perhaps he was hungry or never had money to feed himself, maybe he’d had an awful childhood and been deprived of food? Loads of things went through our minds. He then moved into her house but before he moved they sat down and worked out how much he’d pay to live there which included food etc. After a few months he started coming up with excuses of why the agreed amount wasn’t being transferred to a joint account they’d opened for the bills, that’s when the shit hit the fan. He’d only eaten one tomato from a pack of six they’d bought, he’d only eaten two yoghurts, he only had milk in his tea but she had cereal, she spent 4 minutes longer in the shower than he did, she had the occasional bath, he wore his clothes longer before washing - the list goes on and on. He never paid for drinks when they socialised and if she didn’t pay he only drank tap water from the bar, he never bought a drink from they moved in together. He used to ask to use her car so he saved petrol using hers. He was a tightwad! It dawned on her after around 6 months and out he went back to his miserly life. He earned the same as DD he was just tight with money, there was no debt or anything. Do yourself a favour and find someone who doesn’t count up a shopping receipt, that’s no way to live.

Oh no he is a proper miser

it’s nice to be generous with people you love, I like to argue over who pays the bill… as in argue because we both want to pay and treat the other

this is so miserable, and sad you think it’s normal. It’s not. And it is not about expecting “the man to pay”, it’s miserable with friends too

it is just no way to live

and it will only get worse with age…. or imagine if you are ever on maternity leave…

I think he may be visited by 3 ghosts in the near future!!! Get out now. x

I was young when I met my now dh. I was living at home. My mum was away on an extended holiday. An unexpected bill had come which I had paid. Then realised i had very little for food shopping for the rest of the month.
He pushed as to why I was quiet & so I told him.
He took me straight to Tesco, threw goodies into the trolley as well as the basics I needed. He refused to let me pay him back.
He never made a big deal of it. Was just glad I was ok & happy.
36 years later he would still give me his last penny.
He'll see my favourite chocolate bar & get it because I like it.
He'll bring home something nice to share because he wants to treat me.
He'll cook us a nice dinner because he knows I love his cooking (the washing up is something else though 😁).

You want a man who loves you. Who wants to be your partner. One who cherishes you.
Not one who demands £2.50 after spending ages going through receipts to make sure you're not freeloading off him. Who scoffs more food than you but insists you pay exactly 50%.
The ick here is real.

The scales have fallen from your eyes now.
£2.50 is the straw that broke the camels back!

Yes you need to leave this life draining miser, if for no other reason than the longer you stay with him you are preventing yourself meeting a real partner. Someone you can enjoy life with!

Totally.

Imagine going out for a drink with a friend and then asking for £2.50 because you paid slightly more.

Would never happen, or would be the last time.

Op no it's not normal. I'd take a good look and really think about this is this how you want to live? It's miserable, life is too short!

Op, you could do it back, start to add up everything so he sees the error of his ways. Eg how much you clean and cook v him, work out how long he takes to cook meals, electricity and so on.

Start to bill him back and see how he likes it.
I'm not saying this to be petty because he literally maybe can't understand what he's doing.
If he doesn't profusely apologise and have a main joint account...

RUN.

NEVER HAVE CHILD WITH HIM.
when you love someone you can't live without them and don't care about this crap

Ick. Just ick. I would find this off-putting if it were just an acquaintance, let alone someone I shared my body and life with.

I think you know in your heart of hearts that this is a non runner. He has literally impacted your spirit so much that you don't enjoy treating you/both of you because everything is transactional and totted up to the last penny. How utterly miserable.

And while I agree with posters who have said it's not necessarily about being whisked away but it's the day-to-day stuff that matters, it's actually both. Not in the grand gestures necessarily but someone who is generous enough of spirit that wants to treat you and make you feel special.

Please cut your losses. I think you may have become so used to him that you don't fully appreciate that this is simply not how things work. You sound like a lovely person and he sounds like a miserly killjoy. You can do so much better!

What a miserable way to live
Quibbling over £2.50 when you're under the same roof says it all really
I happily pay for a friends £2.50 coffee if it's my turn
You deserve so much better

Run for the hills. I've been with this man. Also for years. It doesn't get better. They don't change. Being tight and ungenerous with money is the most unattractive trait ever. I've now left, best decision I ever made!

I just don’t think I could have sex with a man who tallied up the supermarket receipts (down to pennies!).

Please do NOT entertain a future with this man. He cares more about money than you or your feelings. Meanness on that level is a dreadful trait to have and surely must bleed out into his behaviour in other ways. I know you should never value someone by the depth of their pocket but he is a tight arsed loser. I'd tell him where to stick that £2.50!! Don't buy him anymore presents, holidays etc and kick his tight arse out of your life.

This, and this again.

Ick.

One of life's small pleasure is treating the one you love, or doing little, thoughtful gestures. He sounds a right, miserable, joyless miser.