Argh, OP, this was me, 20 years ago!! I didn't take advice and ended up having children with the man. It was as bad as everyone else is saying.
I had to fund my maternity leaves, I had pay half the weekly shops, half the bills. He wouldn't pay for childcare and even said I couldn't pay for childcare either, so I became a childminder in the day time, and then I had to work an evening job once he was home. Then he started complaining that he had to drive me to my evening job and he didn't want to. Sometimes he would deliberately arrive home late from work so that I couldn't go to my evening job. Or he would just sit there while I was getting ready and then casually say he couldn't be bothered to drive me when it came to the time to leave. I asked to learn to drive myself but I never had the money and he wouldn't help pay towards it. He charged me petrol money too. In fact, he charged me petrol money for driving me to hospital when I had our DD!! (I moved in with him when I was 17, hence I couldn't drive before meeting him).
I started leaving the children with friends and getting the early bus to my evening job, but he didn't like that either because it made him look bad.
He once took me to the cinema for my birthday, then decided he didn't want to watch the film I wanted to watch, so we saw the film he wanted instead, and when it came to buying the tickets etc, he wouldn't buy me popcorn or a drink. I tried to order my drink after he ordered his, and he turned to me and said "Can you afford that?" I couldn't (my money was SO tight because I always had to pay half of everything) but I had thought because it was my birthday treat, that he would buy the drinks! I had to tell the cashier to not get me that drink actually. So he had his own drink and his own popcorn, and I had nothing.
At that point, he was earning £80k a year. I was lucky if I hit £15k.
I have a billion more stories just like this.
We spilt up after 10 years, when I was 27 and had 3 young children, no education beyond GCSEs and no career. He left me. It was the luckiest, most fantastic, amazing, wonderful thing to ever happen to me. I now have a great job, a lovely little house, a driving license and car (haha) and a life with freedom and joy. He sucked all the joy out of everything.
Please, please, please OP - end this relationship. Financial abuse goes hand in hand with emotional abuse and control. You say you feel like you are painting him in a bad light etc. But like you say, these things you are typing are FACTS. They happened. It doesn't matter that he says he loves you. My ex was just the same. Rationalised everything. Told me I didn't understand money, I was too frivolous with it, etc. I believed him!! And he was so so similar to your partner. When it was just the two of us - it was annoying, and then we had children - and it was unbearable.