Being so tight with money?

Wow. I can’t believe you actually wrote that. OP has already commented that she is planning to leave him but can’t just up and go. Your comment is one of countless the same on Mumsnet where posters think other peoples lives are a soap opera for their crass gratification. Threads on here are conversations and advice, not contracts to do exactly as the OP is told!!
Really tasteless comment.

Op hope you are OK. Stay strong. I think that you should speak to family and friends get some real life support.
Do you have family that you could go to?

This is edging towards financial abuse. Especially the fact he is generous with friends but not you.

Ignore the posters who think that you should leave instantly. Others are absolutely correct it takes time to come to terms with the relationship ending and find somewhere else to live.

You spelt "glug" wrong 🤣

Obviously you're wonder woman with a second property that you can flit to at a moments notice...

Meanwhile, the rest of us would take more than the less than two and a half days since OP first posted, to actually end a relationship and kick them out/leave.

Give the woman a break for fucks sake!

45 minutes of his gaslighting and explaining I'm wrong and being irresponsible.

You absolutely do not have to put up with this anymore OP. He has no right to do this. At nearly midnight too. He's on a nasty power trip. Who does he think he is? A high court judge?

I'm sorry that you are going through this, it must be awful, but at the same time at least you are gaining clarity and dispersing the haze of gaslighting.
Perhaps you could just try getting up and leaving the room without saying a word the next time he starts, so you don't have to listen to it. And this week find some RL support and continue with your planning.

It's rubbish to say because you are taking stock of the extent of his behaviour, you must now march immediately out the door. Extracting yourself with the least harm to yourself requires a bit of careful thought and planning and in the meantime of course you are allowed to blow off some steam on here while you gather your thoughts and put your plans into place. This is not your fault. Its his.

Hope you can get a good nights sleep.

What a nasty tone to your post! How on earth is your post supportive of a woman who in processing the fact that she is being abused?? 😡

She has said up thread that she's leaving but that she can't leave without some planning etc, which is totally understandable. Wtf do you expect her to do, open the front door and walk out of it with no where to go, without an item of her belongings? Who do you think you are demanding more urgent action. If op "going on and on" doesn't suit you, simply leave the thread, don't kick a woman in her position down.

Are you going to actually do anything about iit and leave instead of going on and on about what you've recorded, and remembered etc etc?

This is just another of countless posts here about women complaining about men they shouldn't be with in the first place, and doing absolutely nothing about it part from sit on Mumsnet and get temporary validation.

Omg, how could you be so blind for so long??!!
His behaviour is very abnormal and not what you would get in a loving, caring relationship. His behaviour/ attitude is really despicable. Absolutely do not waste any more time with this petty piece of shit.

OP.. I don't get it- what are you getting out of this relationship, apart from misery and resentment?

OMG, he sounds absolutely miserable. There’s nothing worse than being with a calculating, penny pinching man. I think it has got to be the worst or one of the worst traits a person can have.

Don’t waste any more time with this loser, find someone else, you deserve better.

LTB

It strikes me that some men never get past the sibling rivalry stage. Kids are obsessed with making sure things are completely fair and even, and never allowing one of their siblings to get slightly more. I reckon some men just transfer this crap into their relationship with their adult partners and view it as a fight to the death to see who 'wins'.

Going forward grey rock him "we have fundamentally different attitudes to money so best we part ways as there isn't a compromise"

Stick with it and get notice served on the property.

I really hope you're ok? Get some sleep, then spend any spare time you have tomorrow flat hunting online, or asking a relative or friend if you can lodge with them for a bit. Just make sure when you leave this cock, that you let the landlord or agency know, give them one month notice, then you are not liable for any rent after that.

I was once you. He even had a book where we logged exactly who owed what to each other and yes, some of the amounts were tiny. We were together for ten years and had children. I left years ago but still have control issues around money because of it...thankfully my husband is very understanding. This could very easily turn into financial abuse ...it did for me and I didn't spot it until it had become my normal.

Please tell me you left him by the time you read this far?! He sounds like the most
miserly guy in England.

@Rockrose94 Recording it so you can see it more clearly is great.

So he's trying to make you feel too uncomfortable to ask for money due to you. He's conditioning you.

Leave he won’t get any better 💔

Making you wait till he’s finished his glass of wine before you can top yours up is insane. Please come back and tell us what he says when you tell him you’re leaving him because he's a mean fucker

No no no. This is so unattractive.

As all PP.. please please never have children with this man!!

It's all so transactional 😥

DH and I have a single joint account which everything goes into and comes out of, because we are a team and we trust each other.

Just another one piping up to say that he sounds like an absolute misery, and life is much too heartbreakingly short to put up with that. Best of luck in preparing everything to leave him: You're now being brave and smart! Now he can have the wine bottle all to himself. 🙄

@Rockrose94 how fucking joyless.