Being so tight with money?

Those that know me would say I can be stingy...sure I can sit there adding up things, but there has to be a 'happy time' where he splashes out now and again.

You always buying the meals out and he takes you out once in 4 years....why are you still together.

There is nothing wrong with being prudent, but 'life is too short' to live a life of counting the peas on the dinner plate which is where he is headed.

Move on from him, it will only get more extreme. He will start to question any form of buying even if it has been saved for.

Sounds like a house share not a relationship OP like others have said RUN he will only get worse especially if you had children with him

Yeah who cares if he says it's proof she's a gold digger or whatever. He'll probably day lots of nasty shit. OP needs to just leave. I'd be explaining exactly why to the stingy git.

Something vague? Nah, I don't think this is sound advice at all. Especially if you think he has potential.

The advice would be get the fuck out now. She is financially astute, aware of what is going on and she is going to have to break up if she decides, being vague is not an option in this situation.

There is nothing in the OPs posts that suggest this, so don't fucking scare her.

Fair enough. Leaving a relationship has potential to provoke an argument. I'd much prefer to be as honest as possible than be ambiguous.

Why provoke an argument with him?

The relationship is verging on controlling. You don't know how he will react when he realises his grip is loosening ie We don't know if he has potential to turn violent. Women are killed and injured every week by partners and expartners. (Check today's horrific news)

Something vague makes it more difficult to argue and cause frosty relations.
She wants to keep things as amicable as possible. She still needs to get her things packed up and out the house.

While they don't have a house purchased in joint names they my well have other financial ties, joint bank account, gym membership, car insurance, etc.

Do you mind if I ask why? I'm not disagreeing, I just don't understand why she isn't within her rights to say 'No, you are financially abusive to a ridiculous level and I don't want to spend my life with Ebenezer Scrooge - now fuck off'.

Agreed. I'd end it but keep things vague. Don't think we have a long term future. I don't think we are right for each other.

And I'd wait until the dust has settled before you tell friends the full story.
He sounds a very controlling man and you don't know how he will react when he realises his grip is being forced off.

Are you joking me, charge you for the electricity usage...I'd be out of that door the moment he said it and will never look back ever again.

I too was going to say do not tell him it's about his attitude to money. Just be "we want different things/have different values" type of chat.

Or a "I don't see us working out long term".

Quietly tell friends the stories about him, but I agree, do not give him the heads up.

Ideally more than one friend/family member, and Ideally at least one man.

OP
Try to be as discrete as possible getting out.
Get your important documents out first, without him knowing.
Then when you're ready to leave have at least one friend or family member come over to be there, when you tell him it's over and while you pack your stuff and take it with.
He sounds like the type that could get vicious.

Ooh this is brilliant!

Re the furniture, he only went half on the absolute basics for their house..mean fxxker.
She alone paid for everything over the years with help from her family to make the home as comfortable as possible for the twin girls.

She has older brothers, BIL's, sisters and friends, and to say they cleared the house of EVERYTHING that she had bought, or been gifted by family, is an understatement.

He was bleating on about it.
How devastated he was loosing "his girls".

He was a tight selfish father who did shag all for them.
It's a rural community so there was a LOT of gossip, especially as there was a nice juicy land inheritance in the story.
His family were mortified as she is a lovely well liked local teacher.

His parents were nice people too, the manner in which the house was cleared of everything SHE alone bought told a very clear story.....there were and are mortified to this day.
Karma indeed.

Real karma would be for you to be very reserved in what you communicate now with this loathsome spotted reptile.

Please do not tell him that you are leaving because of his tightness with money as he will spin this as you wanting to rob him blind and nothing at all will ever shake that impression as it suits him.

Tell him you can't see a future. You want something different etc. Anything vaguely neutral but leaning towards you fundamentally rejecting him and being done.

This way, he will carry on in his own sweet way again and again and again.

Please don't try to rehabilitate a tosser like this. The behaviour is ingrained to treat people they consider 'lesser' like absolute shite.

Grey rock. Slide out from under with a smile and have a great life without this soul sucking dementor. One day soon, you will laugh about all of this and you might see him in a restaurant with some unfortunate and a calculator or him tapping furiously on his phone and showing his dining partner the screen.

He might be wealthy but he is not rich.

This is great.

This is purely anecdotal, and absolutely not in the slightest bit scientific, but in my broader circle (ie random acquaintances, work people etc) what I have noticed is that broadly, people who have children without getting married fall into two camps.

Camp 1: the woman is the main breadwinner/has the wealth and is resistant to marriage because she knows that in the event of a divorce, she wll lose out even though she will have been doing the earning AND the bulk of caring, housekeeping etc (incidentally, before everyone shouts about how women who have less money marry all the time, I'd add that I know quite a few families where there's a SAHD, including for a while my own, and in those cases, the couple is married. I think this issue is one that comes up when women know, consciously or unconsciously, that they're going to land up doing BOTh roles and so they're protecting themselves).

Camp 2: Women with partners who are a bit half hearted, sometimes a bit feckless, and don't want to commit. Complain about having to contribute financially, expect the woman to continue to meet all the bills exactly half (oh, and don't even get me started on how often the split, even when it's 50/50 is done so that he pays towards the mortgage, his pension etc and she pays for transitory things like food and childcare).

Make sure you notify your landlord that you have left and if you have to give notice to end the tenancy.
Any one of a joint tenant can end a tenancy and that applies to both people.
Its up to the landlord whether he wants to just let the property to your ex boyfriend and if so he will have to sign a new tenancy in his name only.

Who's name is on the bills like gas, electric and water?
Make sure you take photos of the readings before you go and if anything in your name get it cancelled.
I wouldn't put it past him to try and get you to pay some bills you aren't responsible for.

What a great story! I love it when the villains get their comeuppance.

That's hilarious!

Ah I'm so pleased she escaped and is doing well now.

Love it when a greedy pig like her ex gets his comeuppance

My friends sister was with a mean pig and although they were engaged (her grandmother's ring) they never married.

She got pregnant accidently and he refused to marry her and she juggled her teaching job and childcare....all the time paying for HER children...she had twins.
Her parents were great and helped so much.

When the children were 6 she suddenly came into a massive inheritance, a house, 30 acres and 100k in the bank...her godmother.
He bloody wanted to marry her then. Prick.

Thank god she listened to sense and left him.
He was devastated, heart broken, making all sorts of promises to her. He was absolutely gutted when she packed up EVERYTHING from the house and forced the sale of their home...he couldn't afford it on his own.

She is doing very well for herself now, seeing a very nice man but her sister doubts she will marry.....she's been too scalded and has no wish for more children now her girls are at a great age.

Warms my heart every time I read about a mean man.

As well as his insulting insinuations that you are some sort of gold-digger out to fleece him, it's very interesting that he doesn't seem to mind when he benefits somehow. So he's not just a miser, he's a sneaky, conniving fucker as well.

Am so glad you're binning this arsehole off OP - best wishes for your better, happier, more colourful life ahead x