How late to let a 12 year old stay out

My 12 year old is usually falling asleep by 10pm because he's so active during the day. School, clubs, constantly running around playing sports. They need some downtime.
I certainly wouldn't be letting him out at nearly 9pm in the pissing rain.
During the summer as a one off maybe.
12 is a weird age, some kids are very mature the second they hit senior school, others are still in junior mode. So I don't think it's a one size fits all approach really.
But yeah on a school night by 12 year old is never usually up after 10pm.

8.30 is late enough. Earlier in the winter.

I think if he was already out, then in this time of year 10pm absolute latest. But I think to let him out at 9 would run the risk of him getting kind of excited and staying out more than an hour.
If he was in pyjamas then by default it's clearly too late. But I'd say most kids that age wouldn't be tucked up in bed by 10pm, in summer.

As for summer holidays, her curfew is "before dark" so around 8ish, but we negotiate on that depending on what's going on.

My almost 14 year old turns his light out around 9. He doesn't have to but he loves his sleep. He can stay up later in the holidays/ weekends if he likes but I don't see the benefit if there's nothing to stay up for.

IMO children need consistency. Do what you think is right, not what others think you should be doing. Wandering the streets on a rainy night can't be fun for anyone. 12 is still young.

Different DC need different amounts of sleep/have different wake up times.

My DD needs a lot of sleep she goes to bed at 8pm and is up at 6.45pm. If she went to bed at 11pm - she'd not be fit for school.

Thinking about this again, is it likely that this friend was playing with another who had a 8:30-8:45 curfew, and not having that themselves decided to try their luck with other friends? Eg this is the “normal” but the one with the most relaxed parents makes all the other kids think theirs are strict?

Sorry to piggy back on your thread Doodle dragon but curious to find out if girls have a different curfew to boys here in the UK (I was kept under lock n key as a kid so I have nothing to measure against what it’s safe for my DD)

right now I’m too nervous to let her go anywhere herself (she’s 8) because of delinquent kids in the area

PollencaCalling · Today 21:37

Allowing my 12 year old to play sport at 9pm along with the rest of her (12 year old) teammates was really irresponsible. I think not. Said 12 year old is now a 20 year old medical student. Somehow she survived her ‘ridiculous’ upbringing and is a lovely, smart and successful young lady. Must be a miracle!

Sooooo, you allowing your DD at 12 years old to go out at 9pm to play sport, has resulted in her being a successful, lovely, smart, young medical student?!! Errrrm OK.

Successful because of her upbringing?

It's way too late for OP's son to go out to play football. If he'd already been out a couple of hours and was thinking about coming home, that's different.

Nearly 9pm is a ludicrous time to ask a child to come play out!

Even in the summer holidays!

I wouldn't expect my child of 12 to go out any later than 5 or 6pm and to be IN by 9pm! (In the summer holidays!) Most kids would out by lunchtime and in by 7pm surely!

School time, in for 7.30pm please. November to February, stay in after school, as it's dark by 4-5pm!

What was that famous advert. It’s 10’O’clock, do you know where your children are?

so it is 10pm for me…. Til they are about 16!

On a school night? Probably also when they have exams for setting next year?

It's a school night. DD goes to bed at 9:30 and she starts settling in at about 8:30. Plus, it's pissing down AND dark.

my daughter doesn’t really play out, but if she does, I want her in at 8 or 8.30. Some of her friends are out until 9.30, and they’re 11.

Mines just turned 13 and he's not a big fan of hanging around the streets, he sometimes goes to the local youth club though and gets back about 9.30

My 11 year old goes out to play football with friends most days and tends to be back about 7.30

My almost 12yr old is out playing football with her dad at the park. Its school hoildays tho. If she was with friends 8.30 and close by

It's a no from me me, my 12 year old is showered and in her room at 9 on a school night lights off at 9.30

So if 9pm curfew, would be fine to chat with friend in house/garden for a few mins but no vanishing off at 8:45!

It’s pissing it down and it’s Monday night! It’s not like he’s having a story and a bottle of milk. It’s 9pm not 7pm.

9pm curfew seems reasonable

and DS is that age and was in PJs at 7:30pm because he spent a couple of hours with friends and got muddy. Sent for shower (Not in trouble, just I like my carpets not covered in mud) when he got in and went straight for pjs.

Zero chance of that in my house.

My 12yo's in bed at 8pm on a school night so would be too late for her. But it really depends on the DC.

On a rainy night school night ds 12 would probably be in his pjs at that time. In a warm summer's night if he had school the next day he would be in about 9.15pm . If it's the weekend on a warm light summer's night he will be in about 9.45 pm

I'd say 8.30 / 9 unless he's doing something specific (an event or something) or at a friend's house. Mine are still young though so plenty of time to change my mind!