To ask what people mean when they say ‘leave the housework’…

If it is not a contamination, disease, contagion risk, leave it!

Agreed. I was really lucky that with my first born my mum came over and took all my washing away and bought it back clean, dried and ironed twice a week. I lived in a tiny flat so it was fairly easy to keep it tidy but I certainly left the washing up for DH and cleaning the bathroom so I just did a bit of tidying up and washing.

When I had my second it was much harder and the place was a tip for about a year as my Mum had started a new job and was busier and DH was working long hours. I just did the best I could and noone died!

A newborn isn't crawling and hopeful by the time they are, you're in a better routine to be able to sort housework

I've just discovered a lot of housework jobs I should have been doing all this time!

I do hoover corners now and clean the bathrooms thoroughly but I don't think it was high on my priorities before ..clean clothes, bedding, clean kids clean tableware clean prep surfaces were important

Putting clothes away in drawers/wardrobes as opposed to leaving them in a pile and helping yourself when needed
Wiping worktops but not cleaning sink
Not tidying anything away and hoovering centre of room only
Dumping bags in hall, ditto shoes
Leaving dry groceries and cans on side of kitchen

No ironing whatsoever unless emergency and then from washing pile
Sheets washed every week and towels more often but left on pile/bannistrrs until used to make bed
Not sweeping front path
Side tables have random stuff on at all times
Tiles are greasy
Shower tiles have limescale

Non of these things affect hygiene of small children but the house will LOOK a mess.
I still live like this tbh .....and my children are adults

She sounds like my MIL, in which case what she means by 'relax about the housework' is 'you're still expected to get it all done, just be relaxed about it' 😂Not helpful, I know!

IMO it’s not supposed to mean leave it entirely until they’ve grown up but on the bad days only do the complete essentials rather then killing yourself to do everything.

A bit of dust won't hurt them.

Yet if I skip a few days hoovering

How often do you hoover?

There's no way she notices if you haven't hoovered for a few days, unless you have a very hairy dog shedding everywhere.

Maybe a robot vacuum is what I need!

I’m not sure he’s worth much @Arewealljustloosingtheplot 😂

(Although he is to me, of course!)

Little and often!! I only have carpets in two rooms downstairs so I find that easier than upstairs. When I say run round with the hoover , I do sometimes actually run!! We have just over 2000 square foot here of new build but I’d struggle with a big character country pile!

can you sell your husband to pay for the cleaner?! 🤣

Vacuuming and dusting I guess. Leaving washing for longer.. iron fewer things than you used to.

Exactly this!

And especially this:
just another stick to beat women with. You’re stressed about too much to do? Well now it’s YOUR FAULT

@Arewealljustloosingtheplot It is quite big to be honest. I could do with a cleaner but can’t really justify the cost at the moment.

'Leave the housework'

Means keep people safe and leave the rest to your DH or if you can afford it - cleaner.

No need to have your home dinner party ready 🤣

Yeah. No mum - or anyone else - willing to muck in, unfortunately. And my husband was working 12-14hr days at the time so it was all a bit miserable back in the newborn phase. Still, I'm pregnant again so it clearly hasn't put me off 😂 Thankfully my husband works better hours now.

How big is your house?!??? little and often is all I do and it works well for me

It’s bullshit OP. If it can be skipped, I’m already skipping it.

A cup and a plate you don’t wash today will need washing tomorrow. So you’re not really “saving” any work.

It’s just another stick to beat women with. You’re stressed about too much to do? Well now it’s YOUR FAULT.

Thank you for explaining! I thought ‘a few minutes’ sounded good. 30 doesn’t sound too bad to be fair, although I definitely can’t hoover my downstairs in 7-8 minutes.

@Rainbowsponge But it all involves hygiene doesn’t it? Clean kitchen and bathroom, clean clothes, clean/hoovered floors for a crawling baby.

By the time a baby is crawling things are a lot easier and no reason to let as much of housework slide. I think when people say leave the housework they are talking about first few months

I think the “new baby essentials” list should include a dishwasher, tumble dryer and 2x robot mop hoovers, they’re things that will drastically reduce your housework.

DH’s job to change sheets every Friday evening.
Clean bathroom “as you go” by bleaching after each poo and checking for marks to wipe down as they appear. Clean shower once a week when you’re in it.
That just leaves dusting as “main job” which is my least favourite!

You could have done with your Mum or someone changing the kids sheets and duvets and doing some laundry for you or cooking a few freezer meals you could just pull out and heat up when you were exhausted.