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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pulling out a house near to exchange

157 replies

HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 16:42

We are near to exchange of our new build house and I’m now having huge doubts about going ahead with it. I’ve had a bad gut feeling throughout but as it gets closer it’s getting stronger!

Reasons:

  1. Estate management fees and people telling me to ‘run away’ as they are life ruining
  2. The cost of the mortgage is so much higher than our rent, and I’m genuinely worried we can’t afford it- I’ll only have £200 disposable income after all bills, petrol and food, and other half £500. At the moment, we have around £1500 left over between us.

Reasons why I’ve talked myself into going:

  1. I need to move for my new job
  2. We’ve been renting for 2 years and have secured an okay fixed deal
  3. There’s very little choice in the area we are moving to and new build is probably (even with mgt fees the most cost effective)
  4. We are TTC (although how we can afford one I don’t know)
  5. We are both going to have pay increases next year and the year after.

Am I being unreasonable to pull out and stay renting, and maybe choose to rent closer to work to have more disposable income and wait for an older new build which needs less work?

OP posts:
Kinshipug · 08/07/2024 19:23

HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 19:16

Because I’ve worked like crazy for those savings and don’t want to blow them on a house if I’m living out my means. You can probably tell I’m a worrier with money by my savings! Grew up very poor and it’s hard to shake that feeling of always needing to have spare.

Show quote history

If you've that much cash the sensible thing to do would be to put down a far bigger deposit. Then you'll have much more give day to day.

OpalCitrine3 · 08/07/2024 19:22

I am also a worrier by nature and prefer to buy below my means having grown up pretty poor so I get you there OP.

In all honesty though, if you think getting back on the ladder is hard now, having a dependent makes it far harder.

If I was in your situation I would buy the house, delay TTC for a year (assuming you have the time to delay) and overpay the mortgage by the amount that you would be spending on nursery. You get used to your new outgoings and have a lower mortgage when it actually counts, win win.

I would also consider using some of your two year savings to lower the amount you need to borrow initially. Unless it is earning over 5% interest in your savings account?
**

Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 19:17

WallaceinAnderland · 08/07/2024 19:13

I would stick. It's always very tight financially for first time buyers.

Btw, are you ftb because if so, there is no stamp duty to pay. If they have said they will pay your non existent stamp duty, you could ask them to knock it off the price of the house instead.

No we aren’t first time buyers. We sold our first home to move for my partners job and now are trying to get back on the market after 2 years off (which is so much more difficult that we anticipated).

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 19:16

Kinshipug · 08/07/2024 19:13

If you've got that much in savings what exactly are you worried about?

Show quote history

Because I’ve worked like crazy for those savings and don’t want to blow them on a house if I’m living out my means. You can probably tell I’m a worrier with money by my savings! Grew up very poor and it’s hard to shake that feeling of always needing to have spare.

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 19:14

FlyingSoap · 08/07/2024 18:57

Also we bought an older house and we wish we’d bought a new build. Similar interest rate to you. You will be fine, honest. Xx

We have had an older house and sold it within 2 years, the work and up keep were crazy even after we’d renovated! Which is OH is so keen to get a new build.

OP posts:
Kinshipug · 08/07/2024 19:13

HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 18:48

I mean our £700 a month disposable is worse case. We have progressive jobs, and jobs if we lost we’d walk into other ones relatively easily. Although doubtful we’d lose them as nobody wants to do what we do 😂

If we based it on one of our wages, we wouldn’t be able to afford anything in this climate but we probably have 2 years worth of savings if it we wanted to live off just one wage. But I don’t treat savings as something to dip into, which is why I don’t plan around those. We both pay into pensions and that’s factored in to our non disposable.

Show quote history

If you've got that much in savings what exactly are you worried about?

WallaceinAnderland · 08/07/2024 19:13

I would stick. It's always very tight financially for first time buyers.

Btw, are you ftb because if so, there is no stamp duty to pay. If they have said they will pay your non existent stamp duty, you could ask them to knock it off the price of the house instead.

Arewealljustloosingtheplot · 08/07/2024 19:07

AutumnLeaves1990 · 08/07/2024 18:53

I've heard too many horror stories re new builds 😞

Honestly you’re mad to discount them on this basis. You often get your stamp duty paid and other incentives. Anything that goes wrong in the first 2 years is the developers problem, not yours. Easy to maintain, clean and tidy. Energy efficient ( we are never cold!) ours is massive and well proportioned , has loads of bathrooms and a decent sized garden.

I’d love a Georgian house … but id hate the upkeep!

FlyingSoap · 08/07/2024 18:57

Also we bought an older house and we wish we’d bought a new build. Similar interest rate to you. You will be fine, honest. Xx

Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 18:55

Tomatina · 08/07/2024 18:54

Just based on my own experience: never buy a house you don't really want. Trust your instinct. Backing out will cause a bit of inconvenience, but finding yourself in a house you don't really like is hugely depressing and causes major problems down the line. I pressed ahead when all my instincts were telling me no, just because of a sort of obstinacy ( the sunk cost fallacy). Ended up selling at a loss. All OK now, but I still kick myself for going ahead.

Oh but I love the house 🥹😂 I absolutely adore it!!! It’s not the sunk cost fallacy here, purely is it the right move financially and if we don’t do it will we be stuck renting!

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 18:54

AutumnLeaves1990 · 08/07/2024 18:53

I've heard too many horror stories re new builds 😞

I know same! This is what’s making me want to pull out, but also there are horror stories with old builds they just aren’t publicized because you expect issues with old builds.

OP posts:
Tomatina · 08/07/2024 18:54

Just based on my own experience: never buy a house you don't really want. Trust your instinct. Backing out will cause a bit of inconvenience, but finding yourself in a house you don't really like is hugely depressing and causes major problems down the line. I pressed ahead when all my instincts were telling me no, just because of a sort of obstinacy ( the sunk cost fallacy). Ended up selling at a loss. All OK now, but I still kick myself for going ahead.

AutumnLeaves1990 · 08/07/2024 18:53

I've heard too many horror stories re new builds 😞

Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 18:52

Mostlycarbon · 08/07/2024 17:57

I’ll only have £200 disposable income after all bills, petrol and food, and other half £500.

So £325 disposable income each? If you are planning to have a baby together I really recommend insisting on fair finances now, since your income will be the one taking the hit over mat leave and if you return to work part-time.

Yes this would be right, but very worst case scenario. We will pool once we move. We have a joint bill account just disposable is separate as we both earn enough now and haven’t thought too pool.

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 18:50

Kelly51 · 08/07/2024 18:27

OP, why is money not pooled? if you're planning a family your DP shouldn't have more £ than you

It’s not pooled because at the moment we both have a lot of disposable so there’s not really a need to pool if this makes sense? We pool in our joint account for all our bills but keep disposable separate as we both spend on very different things, I’m a saver and he’s a spender, and I would be annoyed if he was spending what I’d usually save! He’s happy to pool when we move.

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 08/07/2024 18:49

FWIW our new build sold for 60k more than we paid for it after 3 years!

Original poster
HappyKite2067 · 08/07/2024 18:48

Happyhappyday · 08/07/2024 17:59

I am hearing a lot of “hopefully” in your posts and personally I don’t base financial decisions on hope. I base them on worst case, ie, one of us loses our job, you find you desperately want to be a SAHP after DC is born etc. Do you have 6-12 months expenses saved etc? How are you going to manage nursery costs if government funding doesn’t happen, you don’t get pay rises and you get pregnant right away etc. if that math doesn’t add up then I would not buy. I would buy something cheaper and suck it up.

Currently not living in our dream house and on paper could afford a way bigger mortgage but we don’t have the cash savings for 12 months expenses with that size mortgage and won’t compromise on long term pension savings rate etc so we’re staying put. I don’t want financial worry that keeps me up at night.

I mean our £700 a month disposable is worse case. We have progressive jobs, and jobs if we lost we’d walk into other ones relatively easily. Although doubtful we’d lose them as nobody wants to do what we do 😂

If we based it on one of our wages, we wouldn’t be able to afford anything in this climate but we probably have 2 years worth of savings if it we wanted to live off just one wage. But I don’t treat savings as something to dip into, which is why I don’t plan around those. We both pay into pensions and that’s factored in to our non disposable.

OP posts:
Nw22 · 08/07/2024 18:46

@Jaxhog that depends on the area. We just bought a 4 year old house that had increased in value 25% in that time

FlyingSoap · 08/07/2024 18:29

Just do it. We’ve just done similar. Do I feel wobbly about it? Yep. But if not now then when? There won’t be a better time.

Kelly51 · 08/07/2024 18:27

OP, why is money not pooled? if you're planning a family your DP shouldn't have more £ than you

Hankunamatata · 08/07/2024 18:23

I'd go through with the house sale. Esp as its likely to increase in value if there are further phases

Theoldwrinkley · 08/07/2024 18:19

We couldn't afford where we are when we bought (few years ago now). Husband was asked for contribution to charity while at work and he said 'sorry, can't afford to' and turned his wallet upside down and out fell a farthing. Buying is always better otherwise you are just paying someone else's mortgage.

Jaxhog · 08/07/2024 18:18

You'll be paying a premium for a new house, which means it will decrease in value immediately. I'd bail out and find something else.

Lavengro · 08/07/2024 18:16

Going against the grain (mostly) but if your gut feeling is negative I would pull out without hesitation. Never ignore your gut. It may not even be about the house.

Crispsandcola · 08/07/2024 18:14

Go with your gut - pull out now. My husband works in housing and wouldn't touch the newbuild with a barge pole.