Is she really my best friend?

Just block her. You don’t need it at the moment.
ask her. Did you mean to say that as it’s quite rude?

She’s very jealous. Sad really. Put her at arms length, I doubt the friendship will continue once baby is here and tbh u don’t need that kind of negativity in your life

Remove her from your orbit, she needs to be where you are not. Anyone that calls another woman fat, particularly a pregnant woman can get in the bin.

You don't need this right now, do a spring clean as part of your nesting phase and get her gone. You don't need to tell her why. Protect yourself, if she's a friend she will ask what she's done to upset you and be horrified and apologies when she hears. My guess is that she won't.

But you were clearly also getting something out of these relationships at the time — the feeling of being needed or useful, maybe. Though, obviously, good for you for realising in your 20s that it wasn’t a dynamic you wanted to continue. I just think it’s important to acknowledge that no one can force you be a ‘service human’ unless you go along with it, and people do go along with it, often for the sake of inclusion.

I think sometimes it comes with age and experience. I'm 43 and just realising how horrible some people can be so I don't hesitate to keep people at distance or cut them off.

Life can be difficult enough without people who claim to be your friend, shitting all over you. It's not up to you or me or anyone else to be someone else's therapist.

Two people need to get something out of friendships else you ended up becoming someone's soundboard or their person to treat like crap. Why continue it if it doesn't work for you?

This completely. I wish someone told me that as a teen, I’d have cut off some of my adult friendships a lot sooner. I didn’t realise until my 20s but Some people either seen me as a 24/7 therapist or just took me for granted and were almost trying to make themselves the main character in my own life 😵‍💫

Sounds like she is probably jealous of you. I wouldn't bother with her anymore.

Years ago a now former friend had a steady job as a nurse. I was fired from my job for raising a grievance (I later successfully got a settlement out of that) and she was so enthusiastic and friendly
to me then - all empathetic etc.

I got a job I absolutely loved shortly after and her face was like thunder when I was telling her all about it. It was so obvious - like she was sighing and rolling her eyes - that I actually cut the conversation short.

I later learnt that she doesn’t enjoy her job as much as I thought but felt trapped which was where the jealousy came from I guess.

It could be in the case of OPs friends that she isn’t enjoying family life that much but sees Op pregnant and having the possibly of having the fun and lovely experience that she thought she would have.

It’s almost like someone who is unhappily married seeing their friend get engaged or on their honeymoon period. Just because someone has something that society told them they should desire, it doesn’t mean they’re actually enjoying it as much as you may think.

ETA: As I said she’s a former friend now. She was one of my best friends for a decade before that so it was sad but I had zero time for someone who wished ill of me when I’d been there cheering her along when she got married, found a job, had a baby etc and now I was having some good fortune she decided to be bitter? I just ended the friendship within a few months of that behaviour as it was escalating with her constant snide comments and going silent at anything positive I had to say.

Honestly? I'd ditch her as a friend and leave her as someone you know. I've had a situation like this where she constantly put me down, always really loud and gobby, calling me a loser for my hobbies and never ever said anything nice. I stopped making arrangements and now when we end up out together (mutual friends) and she says something, I just ignore it and turn away.

Two people need to get something out of friendships else you ended up becoming someone's soundboard or their person to treat like crap. Why continue it if it doesn't work for you?

Are you sure she was a friend before? Could it be you are noticing now because this information puts the “fat” comments on a very different footing. This woman is trying to upset and undermine. Who else is your friend? See them or make new ones. This is not the person you need in your life.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I hope all goes well with the birth, and that you enjoy being a brand new mum! xx

Give your ‘friend’ a bit of a swerve for now, and get to the bottom of it once you are established with your new born. You have enough to concentrate on without such toxic distractions.

I had a reaction like this from a work colleague. Anything I said about how I hoped birth would go or about any aspect of it was resoundingly shat on. In hindsight she had a rough time of it from what she said. She was also going through a mountain of other shite, cheating on her partner (it all came out while i was on mat leave). So it could be that your pregnancy is pushing her buttons in a weird way that she hasn't figured out in her head yet. It could also be that she wishes she'd done things differently, been better supported, has regrets - and you're getting your first go around and she wishes she could have a redo. Her responses to you setting boundaries around protecting baby etc are what make me think this. People can feel judged by others' parenting choices. It's not you, but you do need to figure out how to handle it. You could stick a line down in front of her and tell her you want a peaceful last few weeks, that you're going to be responding less since she's being daft. Or however you want to handle it, but don't just keep humouring her. She'll keep on at you unless you make a barrier. If she boots off... Well, that's her issue.

Anyone trying to spoil your happiness is not a friend. Don't let her bring you down when this is a very happy time for you. She's mean.

She’s very jealous and unfortunately this does happen. My best friend and bridesmaid at my wedding blocked my phone number and blocked me on all socials after I announced I was pregnant. Completely ghosted me and the rest of our friends and dropped off the face of the earth. It’s sad but if your friend can’t be happy for you she’s not a friend.

Calling you fat when she knows you have had issues with food in the past is toxic. She is not a friend. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not push you down. I don't know what has caused her to behave in this way but her behaviour is unacceptable.

Some people like to be the “superior “ friend. She had kids, you didn’t. You had food issues , she didn’t . She thought that she had everything that you wanted and now she doesn’t
I think she is annoyed that the dynamic has changed and is punishing you . Maybe she will come round once baby is here but I’d be prepared for more unsolicited advice and digs.
It’d be better for your mental health to steer clear of her as much as you can and set boundaries over her input into your life . Motherhood is hard enough without “friends “like this

I don’t know why she’s doing it but she doesn’t like seeing you happy basically.

Maybe she got used to you having a particular role in life, her “poor” friend who doesn’t have a kid she really wanted and had food issues etc etc.

Is you life better than hers in some way? More money? Nicer husband? More supportive family?

Either way she’s an asshole, I wouldn’t speak to anyone that way let alone my best friend.

She isn’t your friend.

In a short answer no, she’s not your best friend!

Avoid, ignore and put some distance between you, incl when baby arrives.
She's behaved appallingly -the weight and food comments are particularly nasty. But all of it is unacceptable.
Please keep her away from you and your baby. You don't need anyone bringing you down or insulting you when you're a new parent.

Please remove this toxic person from your life, no one needs 'friends' like her

That’s no friend at all. Bin her off. Doesn’t matter if it’s 16 years, you don’t need her negativity.

Once you have your baby you’ll meet loads of other mums at the baby weigh-ins and baby groups. You’ll find actual friends here.

She's not your friend, I'd be blocking her for the rest of your pregnancy...and potentially not unblocking her afterwards!

So her fat comments are so deliberately vile, vicious and aimed to wound.

Please protect yourself from her.

That makes the fat comments so much worse. She is truly spiteful. She actively wants you to feel insecure and unhappy.