To not take leave on the day we marry?

☝This. Have a lovely time.

My daughter and now husband did this last year, registry office one week, big wedding at a venue the week after, we did all spend the day together, immediate family only, siblings and parents and then went out for a lovely dinner. We then had the "proper" wedding the week after ( we didn't tell anyone else they were already legally married) and did the whole thing again. It was amazing both times, the first so small and private and the second a great celebration.
This is how they wanted it and like you, saw the registry office as just a formality.

I can see where you’re coming from, but I think I’d feel pretty flat afterwards if I made this huge legal commitment, and then just had to go back to work afterwards like nothing had happened. Take the afternoon off and have a date with your new hubby. Wedding planning is stressful, use this as a moment to connect and enjoy eachothers company.

Same

We had a similar situation and did similar as in kept it as a formality so not to take away from our big celebration but we did have the day off albeit due to travel. However I do wish now that we had made more effort and memories of it even if it was just for us as it's all part of our journey. I just wished we'd dressed up more fancy and taken more pictures!

Take the day off, have lunch together after the ceremony then go home and shag (romantically). That’s what I would do.

I am well aware of the difference thank you so I do not need to "check up" on anything. Typing / saying "husband" is just quicker than typing / saying civil partner each time. The point I was trying to get across to the original poster was that they should just do what is right for them as a couple and do not worry about whether their friends think they are crazy or not.

Bear in mind you are not married, if it's a civil partnership. Need to check up because the legal bits can be different. Or did you mean a civil marriage, which is not the same - and is a marriage.

Im guessing that it will still be a memorable day and it will be magic to look back on. Fast forward a few years and Im sure there will be some great moments and photos and you will regret not going overboard a little bit with LONG DRESS and I think you will regret not doing something special

I would take the day off and do something special with your new husband regardless of when you feel your actual wedding day is

This.

All of it.

X100.

.

My husband and I were the exact opposite.
We personally think it is crazy to have a big expense wedding.
For us, getting married was about making a commitment to each other not a "party".
So we decided to do a civil partnership.
We didn't tell anyone in advance
We just asked 2 neighbours if they could spare us half an hour but we didn't tell them where we were going or what for.
The whole thing only cost £47 and took 7 minutes.
We then went home and spent the day together and had a nice dinner at home.
Then called our parents later in the day to tell them.
We now celebrate our anniversary each year by doing something small together and taking the day off work.
So many people think we are crazy for doing it the way we did. But it was perfect for us.
We have been to a couple weddings together as guests and to us the amount of stress people go through planning a wedding and the amount they spend is just crazy.
But we would never tell them we think it's crazy and try to convince them to do it our way.
Just do whatever works for you as a couple and don't worry about what your friends think.
It's your wedding not theirs.

It’s more complicated than that. In Wales and England, legally binding religious ceremonies have to take place in licensed religious premises, which not all faiths or communities may be able to access. (There are different rules for Jewish and Quaker weddings, which can basically be held in any private location.) Even if you can access such a venue, religious celebrants also have to be licensed, or you have to pay for a registrar to come and officiate in addition to the celebrant. It’s a really knotty area of law, and the Law Commission have recently proposed significant changes to simplify the rules, removing the unequal treatment of the marriage ceremonies of different faiths and non-faith ceremonies.

Many other Christion denominations can perform wedding ceremonies which also incorporate the legal side if the minister has also been licensed as a registrar. Many of them have done. I have been to Catholic and Presbyterian weddings where this was the case.

They could be seamlessly incorporated into any type of wedding.

Yes, so the legalities are seamlessly incorporated into an Anglican wedding, rather than requiring a separate ceremony with a different celebrant on a different day in a different location. That’s a pretty major distinction.

No, the government’s ‘box ticking’ is just incorporated into an Anglican wedding, with register signing after the ceremony in the back of the church.

Personally, I’d take the day off and celebrate just the two of us.
But you do you! It’s your wedding day, so do it as you wish!

Congratulations! Hope both days go off brilliantly! 🩵

It's still a big day as it is the 'legal' part of it which binds you together. I'd share that day together, just the 2 of you then enjoy your celebration wedding with all your family and friends. I remember my wedding day and although it was a beautiful day, we were pulled from pillar to post talking to family and friends we hadn't seen for a while and didn't have time to spend just 5 minutes on our own together. If I could do it all again that would be my choice, go off and get married on our own then have a big party at a later date.

I had a Chinese colleague who did this a few years ago. None of us knew about it until he returned to work in the afternoon (they had celebrations in China later on, and then a reception here). If you are happy with that then it really isn't anyone else's business.

I actually think this sounds lovely. Recognising and enjoying your formal marriage calmly just you and your husband followed by the big celebration afterwards. Have a lovely lunch OP, I'm sure you'll be glad you took a little time together just for yourselves at an important moment.

This is the actual day you get married, it will be your anniversary for years to come and I think everyone looks back on that actual day. Is that how you would recognise it?

So glad yoju are taking the day off, go for a really nice meal together and order champagne! I hope both days go well.

I voted you are being unreasonable, only because this has nothing to do with anyone else, so I can't understand why what your friend has said should make any difference and why you have even given it head-space.

We had a civil partnership 17 years after meeting. I actually asked the registrar at the pre-ceremony interview if it was possible to do it all online. She didn't half glare at me, but really as I said to her, after all these years the signed paperwork wasn't going to change a thing (and it didn't), we were only doing it to secure our futures from a legal POV.

You do you, and best wishes for your big day (the religious one).

Yes, I think she is right and would take the day off to make the most of the time together ahead of the bigger celebrations. Not sure what the downside is?