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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to write to the governors about my DD's suspension?

265 replies

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 11:47

I'm looking for a bit of help. Last week my 12 yo DD was suspended from school for half a day. She has autism and struggles. She didn't want me to leave her and was crying and clinging to me. I tried to get her to go with a member of staff for half an hour but she wouldn't. So the head teacher had to suspend her and send her home. They said I can write a statement to the governors. Does anyone know what I need to say? Is just that it was due to her ASD?

Also if the headteacher keeps suspending her can she be expelled? This is the one and only time she has ever been suspended but it just got me worried.

OP posts:
GeneralMusings · 08/07/2024 16:39

It's the LA case officers here who are often not that much use!

GeneralMusings · 08/07/2024 16:37

@BrumToTheRescue gosh what a shame 😔.

Yes I am quite involved in local SEN community as a parent as well hence the genuine surprise. I am really sad they aren't fulfilling their role as it is literal advice and guidance and they are supposed to have knowledge of the law and ehcps as part of the job. They're who you pull in to a team meeting when you need advice from people who know the rules here!

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 16:37

MumblesParty · 08/07/2024 14:14

Could it be that they didn’t want your DD to have another unauthorised absence, so they thought that calling her day off a “suspension” was better ?

Maybe, I'm not sure.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 16:36

TeabySea · 08/07/2024 14:04

I wondered this too.
Surely the issue was that the child didn't want to go into school, but the school wanted them to go in. So they opt to suspend the child which means they don't go into school. Seems ridiculous.

They need to learn ways to deal with students with SN and not make them feel even less comfortable in such settings.

I did ask if we could go away and come back after lunch but they said no.

OP posts:
Mummy2024 · 08/07/2024 16:35

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 15:02

Yes, this is definitely part of the tiredness.

Sorry OP but this school can't meet her needs. They are clearly showing they cannot meet her needs, by sending her home. I wouldn't be surprised if very soon they tell you and the council that they cannot meet her needs and that's because they cannot. I also think it's strange you've been asked to write a statement to the governors was this by the school or someone else?

You've had issues after issue the senco basicly made out to you that there was only so much they can do for her as a mainstream school. The writing is on the wall.

I feel for you, your doing absolutely everything possible to get her into school and are met with this excluding her because they can't persuade her into school Or manage her condition appropriately. She needs a needs assesment and far more funding than she's currently getting at the very least.

If you haven't contacted IAS then you really need to they are there to help with the legalities like her attendance and mediation with the school etc.

BrumToTheRescue · 08/07/2024 16:33

GeneralMusings · 08/07/2024 16:14

Gosh really?!

The 2 I work with are incredible and really advocate for the kids and are very clued up on the law. I'm surprised to hear otherwise. Their literally role is to provide advice and information to people in positions like the OP (ours is very hot on unlawful suspensions and putting in place ehcp/appropriate support)

Yes, really.

It really isn’t surprising to anyone within the SEN community. You only have to read MN to see that.

As I said, in some areas SENDIASS are good, but in too many areas they are not and toe the party line.

Mummy2024 · 08/07/2024 16:20

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:16

That's good to know!

They suspended her for not following instructions. It's strict but reasonable. Not one of these ridiculous schools.

I did take her home and was then emailed the suspension notice!

Your the OP that's been having problems in other ways no? The school trip etc? I'm flabbergasted they've now decided to start doing this instead.

I know you like the school but quite honestly I've never known anything like it. I feel like things are taking an awful turn for you and your DD. I wouldn't be suprised if they soon want her to be placed elsewhere. They can't suspend a child for being upset, honestly I'd be raging and at the council first thing tomorrow.

VickyEadieofThigh · 08/07/2024 16:18

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:43

And sorry, where did I say I was going to 'argue the toss' with the governors?

I've been asked to make a statement and I'm asking what to include!!

Who has "asked" you to write to the governors? You said earlier that "they" said you can "make a statement" to governors and I'm confused about who has said what to you.

The governing body, as others have said, cannot overturn this suspension, so any letter you write to the chair of governors (which is the person you'd actually write to) needs to have some other purpose.

Do you want to make a complaint about how this was handled? If so, you need to go via the school's complaints policy and your complaint would go to the headteacher in the first instance.

GeneralMusings · 08/07/2024 16:14

Gosh really?!

The 2 I work with are incredible and really advocate for the kids and are very clued up on the law. I'm surprised to hear otherwise. Their literally role is to provide advice and information to people in positions like the OP (ours is very hot on unlawful suspensions and putting in place ehcp/appropriate support)

BrumToTheRescue · 08/07/2024 15:47

Ellie56 · 08/07/2024 13:26

@UndertheCedartree

Head teachers can only exclude for disciplinary reasons. Anything else amounts to unlawful exclusion.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/pages/category/exclusion-from-school

It sounds like the school is not meeting your child's needs, so they need to start putting support and reasonable adjustments in place as they are legally required to do. If necessary they need to seek professional advice. Sending her home is not an option, as this is unlawful exclusion. I would be making this very clear to the governors too.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/advice-on-writing-written-representations-to-the-governors

Refer to the Statutory Guidance

"It would be unlawful to exclude a pupil simply because they have SEN or a disability that the school feels it is unable to meet.." Page 16.

I see you have already applied for an EHCNA. Use this incident as evidence that the school is unable to meet needs.

Information here if your child is unable to attend school:

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/school-anxiety

This.

As well as IPSEA, contact The School Exclusion Project.

Be careful with SENDIASS. Some are good but too many repeat the LA’s unlawful policies.

Smoothie23 · 08/07/2024 15:26

Deleted

HcbSS · 08/07/2024 15:23

It sounds like you are very focused on the negative connotations of an unauthorized absence or suspension on her record (understandable). But by having these wouldn’t that show that she has serious problems and needs help to stay in school? Might that not lead to more support? Ultimately she needs to be in school, and pass her GCSEs, and she can’t go through 5 years of refusing to go in. Kids with issues on their records are more likely to get referrals which may lead to more help.

Smoothie23 · 08/07/2024 15:20

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:28

She has a formal diagnosis of ASD. She doesn't have an EHCP or 1:1 LSA but there is always an LSA in her class.

No, it's not the first time but this was the most extreme. We did have a similar situation in her first term where she had a complete meltdown but did go up to Learning support where she fell asleep and after an hour they asked me to pick her up.

So we were in a room off reception. She started off crying and raising her voice a bit but we managed to calm her down but she still didn't want to go with her learning mentor.

I would write to governors. Clearly there was a psychological issue in that moment and head of pastoral even didn't show up. They should let her go home as she clearly had a breakdown. ASD is not reacting by crying but inside a lot may be going on.

Mynewnameis · 08/07/2024 15:13

I'm really glad you posted this as I have an autistic girl about the start high school. I think initially I would have been shocked by the suspension but there are some helpful replies here.
In my letter to the governors I'd ask if there are any alternative options. And then you can consider the pros and cons of each.

handmademitlove · 08/07/2024 15:06

As a pp has said, I am not sure why they are telling you to write to the governors? The legislation says "106. In the case of a suspension which does not bring the pupil's total number of days of suspension to more than five in a term, the governing board must consider any representations made by parents, but it cannot direct reinstatement and is not required to arrange a meeting with parents"

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/64ef773513ae1500116e30db/Suspension_and_permanent_exclusion_guidance_september_23.pdf

So you can write to the governors but they can't change the decision. What you could do is highlight to them that she didn't actually do anything wrong but was distressed during to mental health and that the correct course of action would have been to note an authorised absence for medical reasons..... And perhaps stop giving you a hard time for attendance when she is unable to attend due to medical reasons. This may highlight the lack of support within the school. You can link to

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5ce6a72e40f0b620a103bd53/supporting-pupils-at-school-with-medical-conditions.pdf

And

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/65f1b048133c22b8eecd38f7/Working_together_to_improve_school_attendance__applies_from_19_August_2024_.pdf

TheSerenePinkOrca · 08/07/2024 15:04

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:36

The thread isn't about what I expected them to do it's about what I should write to the governors.

I would write to the governors stating the issue and asking for a solution!

My DS has a friend with ASD and struggles with school. The school has reduced his timetable to P1 to P3, then he goes home. That way his attendance is only based across 3 lessons a day and not 5, and the shorter day means he is less tired. It was originally just P1 and P2.

At the school I teach at, a few years ago we had a parent who spent all morning sitting in reception so their child would stay in school! Oddly it worked!

You need to show the governors what the issue is and suggest some strategies that might help the situation.

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 15:02

eyeslikebutterflies · 08/07/2024 14:00

Unlikely. Masking is common in women and girls with ASD. The 'cost' of masking is near permanent exhaustion and meltdowns (which in themselves are also exhausting). It is entirely in keeping with an autistic child who is struggling with an unsupportive school.

Yes, this is definitely part of the tiredness.

OP posts:
Airdustmoon · 08/07/2024 14:58

School governor here. It sounds like the school were between a rock and a hard place - they were happy for you to take her home but said it would be unauthorised, you then challenged them on that so they had no choice but to suspend.

You have the right to make representations to the governors but they do not have the power to reinstate when the suspension is under 5 days, so have a think about what you actually want to achieve by this.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/07/2024 14:54

You've got a right to send a letter for the governors to read. However, you don't have a right to a formal meeting and they do not have the power to order the school to cancel it from her record.

If she were suspended again to take her over 5 days this term (unlikely) or permanently, different rules come into play depending upon duration/permanence.

veritusverity · 08/07/2024 14:53

They could have marked her down as a school refusal.

^^
There is no code for school refusal....personally I think there should be, but as it stands school refusal comes under 'O' unauthorised absence (for England, I don't know if the same is true in other countries in the UK). It's important the school is informed its refusal, so if the education welfare officer becomes involved, it can be dealt with appropriately.

crumblingschools · 08/07/2024 14:49

Don't think governors can overturn a suspension.

You could go down the complaint route but need to follow the complaints policy.

As others have said, schools can't just send pupils home. Would have to go through the fixed term suspension route. What was stated in the school communication to you?

FusionChefGeoff · 08/07/2024 14:48

Can your letter be in 2 parts:

  1. detailing why suspension was the wrong response

  2. setting out what you want from school to support her better

For 1) do school have a behaviour mgt policy that sets out what qualifies a suspension? I'd hope that what you've described doesn't hit that threshold! Then set out the alternative options as outlined from PP and which one you feel would have been most appropriate.

For 2) I'd ask for one of the goals to be that you and school agree an 'action plan' by the end of the term (?!) on what they will do, what you will do and what DD will do in order to start fresh in September.

Good luck this sounds really hard

Whatafustercluck · 08/07/2024 14:48

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 14:39

Yes, I'm aware that poster was very ignorant.

My DD has most of those reasonable adjustments too. Yes, she is under the SEN department.

The grass roots people are great. It's more the 'management' are the problems.

They think she was spending too much time with her Learning mentor. So they have stopped the reasonable adjustments of her coming in later so that she can get in earlier and see her learning mentor then. The plans are always changing. It's also hard to get information so I can prepare DD. They actually like I'm a nuisance at times!

Op, this is exactly why an EHCP is necessary, so I'm pleased you're applying for a needs assessment. This provides the consistency SEN children need throughout their education, including the formality of regular reviews to see how her needs have changed.

In my opinion, you should argue for authorised absence due to the impact on her mental health. The fact that her attendance is so low, and that they are 'on your back' about it speaks volumes. They suspended her because schools are under the kosh with regards to unauthorised absence. She's not coping, and her needs are not being met because they have no idea what her needs actually are. The Ed Pysch is a really positive step forward for you.

I would write to the governors and state that anxiety is a by product of a neurodevelopmental disorder for which your dd has a diagnosis. She's sick, not naughty, and anxiety is a mental health concern therefore authorised absence (sick) is fair. And I think you need this agreement to extend until such time as you have an EHCP in place.

Poor girl.

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 14:39

eyeslikebutterflies · 08/07/2024 13:55

So sorry you had this experience, OP. FWIW, my DD's school is amazingly supportive to kids with ASD and this would never have happened there.

One poster upthread said: "I personally don't think that there a different treatement for kids with ASD if she is in the mainstream school. They expect all children to obey school policy."

That's simply not true.

DD has ASD, and when heading into a meltdown is able to leave class, go to a special room (for the SEN kids), has a '5 minute pass' so she can leave early to avoid crowds, can have her lunch in the library, not attend lessons she finds distressing (eg music, too loud).

She only got this support once under the care of the SEN team at the school. Does yours have similar?

But yes: they are treating ASD as if it is elective, or an illness, when in fact it is not. So many people just don't understand it, especially in women and girls, and this includes teachers and governors.

So you might want to research best practice in this area in your letter to show how your DD's school is letting her down by trying to force her to behave like a NT child, or within the frameworks that they have designed for NT children.

She's not 'behaving badly'. She is autistic and they are legally obliged to make reasonable adjustments to enable her to attend school despite her disability. Suspending her, particularly when you were there, is not a reasonable adjustment. Nor is it a proportionate nor informed response when faced with an autistic meltdown.

Yes, I'm aware that poster was very ignorant.

My DD has most of those reasonable adjustments too. Yes, she is under the SEN department.

The grass roots people are great. It's more the 'management' are the problems.

They think she was spending too much time with her Learning mentor. So they have stopped the reasonable adjustments of her coming in later so that she can get in earlier and see her learning mentor then. The plans are always changing. It's also hard to get information so I can prepare DD. They actually like I'm a nuisance at times!

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 14:32

GeneralMusings · 08/07/2024 13:46

Again Google sendiass and your area.

They're set up to advise and found these types of situations and do so regularly
More so than random mumsnetters.

This is going to be a bigger issue than writing a letter.

Yes, I'm aware the whole thing is bigger than writing a letter! I'm living it!

OP posts:
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