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Original poster

To want to write to the governors about my DD's suspension?

265 replies

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 11:47

I'm looking for a bit of help. Last week my 12 yo DD was suspended from school for half a day. She has autism and struggles. She didn't want me to leave her and was crying and clinging to me. I tried to get her to go with a member of staff for half an hour but she wouldn't. So the head teacher had to suspend her and send her home. They said I can write a statement to the governors. Does anyone know what I need to say? Is just that it was due to her ASD?

Also if the headteacher keeps suspending her can she be expelled? This is the one and only time she has ever been suspended but it just got me worried.

OP posts:
GiveItAGoMalcom · 08/07/2024 13:35

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:19

Sorry to add to that her attendance is low so I have them on my back about that hence me not wanting to take her home and get another absence. They said they'd suspend her, so I said fine and took her home.

So you left them with no choice but to suspend her because you didn't want to take her home?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:35

Notamum12345577 · 08/07/2024 12:23

They suspended her for crying and being upset?! Or did they just send her home? There is a difference, suspension is for bad behaviour etc, and it doesn’t sound like she was badly behaved.

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I'm wondering if they should have sent her home as mentally unwell, really.

They can't just send her home aside from that unless they suspend her. They said it was a health and safety issue due to her not following instructions. She wasn't badly behaved. She's just autistic.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:32

sunflowerdaisyrose · 08/07/2024 12:23

My daughter has been marked sick if she can't attend due to mental health/autism, I'm shocked she was suspended!

I'm having problems with them due to attendance!

Was this when your DD had physically gone into school?

The more I think about it, maybe it should have been an authorised absence as they could clearly see she was in no fit state!

OP posts:
chaosmaker · 08/07/2024 13:31

If she's really tired all the time, might there be another underlying medical issue?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:29

Sorry, it is a state school. She was not abusive.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:28

HcbSS · 08/07/2024 12:20

Definitely think more context is needed:
Does she have a formal diagnosis and EHCP/support worker?
Was this the first time she has done this?
Was she 'just crying' or was it a full on screaming fit in the reception area?
Is it a state or private school (policies will change)
Was she verbally or physically abusive to the staff while they were trying to reason with her.

Very difficult situation OP.

She has a formal diagnosis of ASD. She doesn't have an EHCP or 1:1 LSA but there is always an LSA in her class.

No, it's not the first time but this was the most extreme. We did have a similar situation in her first term where she had a complete meltdown but did go up to Learning support where she fell asleep and after an hour they asked me to pick her up.

So we were in a room off reception. She started off crying and raising her voice a bit but we managed to calm her down but she still didn't want to go with her learning mentor.

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 08/07/2024 13:26

@UndertheCedartree

Head teachers can only exclude for disciplinary reasons. Anything else amounts to unlawful exclusion.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/pages/category/exclusion-from-school

It sounds like the school is not meeting your child's needs, so they need to start putting support and reasonable adjustments in place as they are legally required to do. If necessary they need to seek professional advice. Sending her home is not an option, as this is unlawful exclusion. I would be making this very clear to the governors too.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/advice-on-writing-written-representations-to-the-governors

Refer to the Statutory Guidance

"It would be unlawful to exclude a pupil simply because they have SEN or a disability that the school feels it is unable to meet.." Page 16.

I see you have already applied for an EHCNA. Use this incident as evidence that the school is unable to meet needs.

Information here if your child is unable to attend school:

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/school-anxiety

School anxiety

We regularly advise and support families whose school-aged children are unable to access education because of anxiety or similar difficulties – very often associated with the child’s SEN. This was previously called ‘school refusal’ but is also more acc...

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/school-anxiety

ElecticBetty · 08/07/2024 13:23

Myblindsaredown · 08/07/2024 13:16

But that’s not what they did. Either you’ve misunderstood or didn’t read it.

the child refused to go on, the op spent 30 mins trying in an anti room, and she refused, so they suspended for half a day so she could go home as it’s the only way they can allow her to go home.

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So, if she went into school, vomited everywhere - she wouldn’t be allowed to go home unless she was suspended?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:23

VickyEadieofThigh · 08/07/2024 12:20

It sounds - though I'm sure the OP will give us further information - like the OP left her DD with staff and she then refused to do as she was asked. It's hard to know what else they could have done, though I wouldn't have let the parent simply leave a child in such distress and non-compliance in the first place.

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I hadn't left her I was there the whole time. And yes, in the moment it was difficult to know what to do. She needed to come home. She had a nap and some relaxation at home and we did a bit of work they gave us. It actually did her the world of good. She was much happier the next day. I think part of it is she gets so tired.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 08/07/2024 13:20

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:19

Sorry to add to that her attendance is low so I have them on my back about that hence me not wanting to take her home and get another absence. They said they'd suspend her, so I said fine and took her home.

Are you saying they offered to let you take her home without suspension but you didn't want to affect her poor attendance, or have I misunderstood?

Apologies if I have.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:19

Sorry to add to that her attendance is low so I have them on my back about that hence me not wanting to take her home and get another absence. They said they'd suspend her, so I said fine and took her home.

OP posts:
GeneralMusings · 08/07/2024 13:18

(pa I also like not fine in school)

GeneralMusings · 08/07/2024 13:18

Please speak to Sendiass in your area who are able to advise you (free).

This isn't okay.

Myblindsaredown · 08/07/2024 13:17

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:16

That's good to know!

They suspended her for not following instructions. It's strict but reasonable. Not one of these ridiculous schools.

I did take her home and was then emailed the suspension notice!

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Ok that’s different to what you wrote before, which was she refused to go in.

Myblindsaredown · 08/07/2024 13:17

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:13

Yes. She wasn't causing a massive scene or affecting anyone else. We were actually in a room and the learning mentor and myself were trying to talk to her. But she didn't want to go with her learning mentor and they can't just send her home so they suspended her.

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And do you disagree with this, it’s hard to tell whay you’re acrually thinking. Did you feel they should have done something different?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:16

TheSerenePinkOrca · 08/07/2024 12:18

Is this a state school? It costs £1000s to expel a child, so highly unlikely!

Why specifically did they suspend her? Is this quite a strict school?!?! At my school you'd have to do something pretty bad to get suspended!

If she was struggling and wouldn't go in and was clearly distressed, then why didn't you just take her home?

That's good to know!

They suspended her for not following instructions. It's strict but reasonable. Not one of these ridiculous schools.

I did take her home and was then emailed the suspension notice!

OP posts:
Myblindsaredown · 08/07/2024 13:16

ElecticBetty · 08/07/2024 13:13

I’d be raging if the school gave my child a suspension for being distressed.

Punishment under these circs is completely regressive. I’d consider contacting my local DIAS service or try a national charity like SOS SEN or IPSEA (ask who they recommend to get advice from if they can’t help)

in this day and age! Ffs.

But that’s not what they did. Either you’ve misunderstood or didn’t read it.

the child refused to go on, the op spent 30 mins trying in an anti room, and she refused, so they suspended for half a day so she could go home as it’s the only way they can allow her to go home.

Babadook76 · 08/07/2024 13:14

Was she given an actual official suspicion, or were you just asked to take her home as they couldn’t physically get her into school?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:13

ForDaringNavyOP · 08/07/2024 12:14

Was it just a normal school day she was supposed to be in for? In which case I’ve never heard of suspending someone for refusing to go in- it would just be an unauthorised absence at worst. Unless they were causing a massive, disruptive scene deliberately to the detriment of others learning.

Or was it that they were supposed to have a consequence, like a detention or apology to a teacher or something? That’s the only time my school would then go to suspension, is that they won’t accept or do the consequence, so it escalates.

Yes. She wasn't causing a massive scene or affecting anyone else. We were actually in a room and the learning mentor and myself were trying to talk to her. But she didn't want to go with her learning mentor and they can't just send her home so they suspended her.

OP posts:
ElecticBetty · 08/07/2024 13:13

I’d be raging if the school gave my child a suspension for being distressed.

Punishment under these circs is completely regressive. I’d consider contacting my local DIAS service or try a national charity like SOS SEN or IPSEA (ask who they recommend to get advice from if they can’t help)

in this day and age! Ffs.

Smoothie23 · 08/07/2024 13:12

UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:08

She was supposed to either go to student services or the learning support centre or to her form room. She wanted to go home.

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And they suspended her just for this? If there wasn't anything else that she did then surely the pastoral care failed. They should ask her about why she wants to go home and what is happening.
I would write to governors if the suspension was just over it

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:10

Mrsttcno1 · 08/07/2024 11:58

It’s a tricky one, do you have an EHCP in place for your child? Technically a child can only be suspended I think it is 45 days before exclusion takes place however they can exclude before that. They would have to be very careful excluding a child where the issue was due to autism though as it could be discriminatory. The school would have to be able to show that excluding the child is a proportionate way of achieving a legitimate aim, so say if your child was routinely causing problems in lessons and it was disturbing other pupils then they could say that in order to enable the rest of the class to learn it was necessary to exclude your child. I think if it was just a one off issue with drop off nothing more will come of it but is potentially worth getting in touch with governors as the suspension will be on her school record and so it would be useful for info to show what the reason was

No EHCP but I have asked for an EHCNA.

She doesn't cause any problems in lessons.

And yes, that was what I was thinking, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 08/07/2024 13:08

Smoothie23 · 08/07/2024 11:57

You should really put this topic in SEN section of this forum. People there would be able to advise as they have similar challenges.

I personally don't think that there a different treatement for kids with ASD
if she is in the mainstream school. They expect all children to obey school policy.

I sincerely doubt she could be expelled for " not wanting to go with the staff member", unless she has done some serious disciplinary misconduct.

You have not really described why and where she suppose to go with the staff member.

Talk to SEN Co at school about how to prevent future situations like that.

She was supposed to either go to student services or the learning support centre or to her form room. She wanted to go home.

OP posts:
HcbSS · 08/07/2024 12:54

Smoothie23 · 08/07/2024 12:49

Not every ASD has a EHCP. Actually, minority has. EHCP is given if there are educational needs or a child poses a danger to herself or other kids.

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Exactly! So how she is dealt with would likely be influenced by that.