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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this really weird and annoying

133 replies

user29863 · 08/07/2024 10:16

Even if I am being unreasonable, I think I should get some credit for my diagram, which I am super proud of.

We live in a small neighbourhood full of older retired people who seem very concerned with our garden weeds and (perfectly legal) parking and whether our bins are visible etc. Mentioning age incase it's a generational thing; mentioned their concerns as it explains why they visit frequently. We also live in a bungalow, on an estate full of bungalows. We're in a cul-de-sac, right at the end, with nothing to one side of us except a dead end. We are quite young with a new baby and a not quite perfect garden, but we're genuinely not awful neighbours and our house is clean and tidy inside and out; it just isn't Privet Drive standards because we're busy.

For some reason, when our neighbours need to collect a parcel, or helpfully remind us to use weed killer on the 3 dandelions on our lawn, they always use our back door. To do this, they need to walk past our perfectly good front door (which we always use), and past our bedroom and bathroom windows. Our garden is really private and so we should technically be able to shower without the blinds closed and merrily walk around our bedrooms naked, but this habit of the neighbours seems really intrusive and stops me dancing around my bedroom, breasts akimbo. Our neighbours are well aware of they layout of our house because theirs are all identical. I don't know if they are trying to get their steps in or just be nosy, but it seems really unneccessary to do this, and I'm super annoyed by it. DP is unbothered by it. I realise the solution is to put a gate on the side of our house but I'm on maternity leave and money is tight.

So, is this a normal thing people do and IABU, or is this weird?

To find this really weird and annoying
OP posts:
Andwegoroundagain · 08/07/2024 10:24

Or just put a plant pot in the way so they can't?

Vergeofbreakdown23 · 08/07/2024 10:24

Yadnbu and I can tell your on maternity with a new baby and not much adult company by your diagram which is fab 😂😂😂😂😂
It is weird they're going so far out of their way, is it just one neighbour or do they all do it?
I also wonder if that's the habit they've got into over the years with each other and the previous occupants of your house?
To be fair, they don't sound the worst and they're probably relishing some younger company - I think the only way to sort it diplomatically would be a gate - or invest in some one way window stuff so you can see out and admire your garden while starkers but they can't see in 🤣❤️

Ffswtf · 08/07/2024 10:24

Agree, feels like an invasion of privacy. Like PP said don't answer back door, they should get the message. Any way of blocking their path to the back door, garden furniture, bins, etc?

yarnwitch · 08/07/2024 10:23

Excellent diagram Grin
Do they all use the back door of each others homes? Maybe it's the done thing there, or habit if a previous occupant in your home always used the back? Possible they just want a nosey round!
You could stop taking in parcels so they don't need to call round, but the obvious thing is to just tell them to use the front door!

EBearhug · 08/07/2024 10:23

I wonder if the people who lived there before asked them to use the back door? In any case, while that might explain it, it doesn't excuse it. I would tell them they should use the front door in future.

I would also not be using weedkiller on the dandelions. I like dandelions, and bees and other insects.

Andwegoroundagain · 08/07/2024 10:23

Very nice diagram!
I'd just say to them next time, do you mind using the front door please next time.
Sometimes people find front doors more formal. My grandparents for example, we always went in the side entrance not the front door for some reason that was postie and non related visitors only. Maybe it was "for best" like the front room?

Tippet · 08/07/2024 10:23

TruthorDie · 08/07/2024 10:20

Odd. I would nip this in the bud so either decline to open the back door bellow through it to go round the front. Or exit your house via your front door to peer down the side of the horse and ask why are they at the back door. Discussions about the 3 dandelions l wouldn’t get into as it’s none of their business

This.

Excellent diagram, OP. It’s making me feel nosy-neighbour cul -de-sac claustrophobia just looking at it.

TruthorDie · 08/07/2024 10:20

Odd. I would nip this in the bud so either decline to open the back door bellow through it to go round the front. Or exit your house via your front door to peer down the side of the horse and ask why are they at the back door. Discussions about the 3 dandelions l wouldn’t get into as it’s none of their business

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