Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I didn’t thank DH for the “lift”

38 replies

MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:51

Been away this weekend with youngest DS to a little caravan park. Oldest teen stayed home and then on check out day DS and DH drove up so we could spend a few hours together, use the on site facilities and then take the kids for lunch. Got home and DH was huffy cos I didn’t thank him for the lift!

Honestly didn’t see it as him giving me a lift as we were doing stuff as a family. I ended up apologising and thanking him. It was a 30 minute drive for him. It wasn’t the easiest weekend as DS is autistic with complex needs, so was difficult on my own. Did not expect the huff!

OP posts:
Cinai · 08/07/2024 09:00

We do thank each other for small things we do, such as driving, making dinner, cleaning,…I think appreciation is great in a relationship, however, your DH sulking is a bit over the top. It sounds like there are deeper issues from what you say, I guess you can either address these or go ahead with your plan to leave.

MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 09:00

tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:56

you’re starting a thread about presumably a drop in the ocean

focus on the big picture

Yes you are right. It’s these little interactions that make me question who is in the right? All building up to a bigger picture of course. I struggle after years of similar interactions if I’m in the wrong or is he.

OP posts:
MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:58

tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:57

why? would have been awful for everyone

Why?

OP posts:
MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:57

tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:56

So don’t waste your time navel gazing about this

focus on the bigger picture and channels your energies in to that

Yes that is true ☺️

OP posts:
tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:57

MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:56

He had to work, otherwise we would have gone together.

why? would have been awful for everyone

tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:56

you’re starting a thread about presumably a drop in the ocean

focus on the big picture

MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:56

ThreeEggOmlette · 08/07/2024 08:55

Is this typical behaviour?

We do normally say 'thanks for driving' to each other if it's 4 hours to Cornwall.or something but not 30 minutes to the shop or whatever!!

As PP said, has he thanked you for facilitating a relaxing weekend?

He had to work, otherwise we would have gone together.

OP posts:
tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:56

MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:53

It’s broken down and I’m making plans to leave.

So don’t waste your time navel gazing about this

focus on the bigger picture and channels your energies in to that

MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:55

BruceAndNosh · 08/07/2024 08:52

Did DH thank you for looking after his challenging child on your own?

He did say I did really well all weekend and if anyone could take DS away on their own it was me. Just took me back that he huffed cos I didn’t thank him. We had had a whole conversation where it was agreed that DS and DH would join us on check out day.

OP posts:
ThreeEggOmlette · 08/07/2024 08:55

Is this typical behaviour?

We do normally say 'thanks for driving' to each other if it's 4 hours to Cornwall.or something but not 30 minutes to the shop or whatever!!

As PP said, has he thanked you for facilitating a relaxing weekend?

MashMashGravy · 08/07/2024 08:53

tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:52

how is the marriage otherwise?

It’s broken down and I’m making plans to leave.

OP posts:
tomketchup · 08/07/2024 08:52

how is the marriage otherwise?

BruceAndNosh · 08/07/2024 08:52

Did DH thank you for looking after his challenging child on your own?