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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you ever worry you're too annoying for anyone to tolerate and everyone will eventually abandon you?

30 replies

OptimismvsRealism · 07/07/2024 23:35

I feel everyone is so prickly these days and it's a constant battle not to provoke furious reactions over things I thought were light-hearted or throwaway comments

Maybe I just need to be friends with animals instead

OP posts:
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EmeraldRoulette · 09/07/2024 23:42

@OptimismvsRealism Oh, that explains it re the soda. I don’t relate to your title particularly - but social interactions have become an absolute minefield due to politics. No one has been furious but I think some have been displeased.

And keeping quiet annoys people too. That’s my default and I think it’s not liked.

Also, sometimes really trivial things seem to bother people. You can see on here how there are so many imagined slights.

I have been meeting new people and one lady referred to “the land of lost friends”.

It made me feel better as I still worry that I’m at fault, but certainly from what I can see, people are losing friends generally.

Those people post a lot here - but also people post here when they can’t be bothered to maintain a social life or when they just want to let go of a friend for whatever reason.

I guess we live in interesting times!

KreedKafer · 09/07/2024 23:41

Do you ever worry you're too annoying for anyone to tolerate and everyone will eventually abandon you?

Hmmm…sort of, but not quite in the way that I think you mean. I do worry that people might think I’m a complete dick, or a weirdo, but don’t worry about being ditched by my mates because of it. Friendships ebb and flow and my friendships are very drama-free; not intense. I don’t feel like I need my friends, great though they all are.

I do have a horrible recurring nightmare where my family suddenly start being vile to me, though. So maybe I have a subconscious fear of them abandoning me - despite the fact that they’ve never shown even the slightest indication that they would!

I feel everyone is so prickly these days and it's a constant battle not to provoke furious reactions over things I thought were light-hearted or throwaway comments

Er… yeah, this really isn’t something that’s been a problem for me. But as I said before, my friends and family aren’t really big on drama. Furious reactions aren’t really something that happens often in my relationships. And I suppose I tend to hang out with like-minded people.

Toseland · 09/07/2024 23:40

I know I am 😅

Isittimeformynapyet · 09/07/2024 23:25

EmeraldRoulette · 09/07/2024 19:41

@OptimismvsRealism I’m late to this thread but yes

did you get given a lecture about the green credentials of a soda stream or something like that?

No you're not - you're on the first page. S'all good 🙂

catin8oots · 09/07/2024 23:18

Yep I'm there already

Toastandbutterand · 09/07/2024 22:43

Ivyrosecrayon · 07/07/2024 23:46

Yes.
But then I remind myself that I actually really like and have a lot of time for other people..
So why do I spend time worrying everyone is annoyed by me?
I'll tell you why... it's because I'm annoyed by me. Because I have to put up with myself 24/7.
We are all our own worst critics.
In reality not many people out there are cuntish enough to really judge you negatively.. and out of the people who are cuntish enough, not even all of them have the time and energy because they've probably got drama going on.
And then finally.. those few who are cuntish enough and happen to have the time, to feel negatively about you...
Well why should you care anyway?
Do you really want horrible people like that to like you?

So this!

Original poster
OptimismvsRealism · 09/07/2024 22:35

EmeraldRoulette · 09/07/2024 19:41

@OptimismvsRealism I’m late to this thread but yes

did you get given a lecture about the green credentials of a soda stream or something like that?

I'm actually not sure what the details are I think possibly something to do with Israel :-/

OP posts:
StrawberrySquash · 09/07/2024 20:03

Libre2 · 08/07/2024 01:12

Yep - feel like I am haemorrhaging friends at the moment and yes everyone is very precious about weird stuff and yea animals are easier OP. Sorry, no pithy sound bites but lots of sympathy.

But also several people are obsessed with their animals! They're nice and ll, but I'm not that interested

Princessfluffy · 09/07/2024 20:03

Talking too much about yourself is often very annoying for other people, listening more and talking less can be a good approach if you're worried about annoying others. And don't give unsolicited advice either!

EmeraldRoulette · 09/07/2024 19:41

@OptimismvsRealism I’m late to this thread but yes

did you get given a lecture about the green credentials of a soda stream or something like that?

OperationGoldenDawn · 08/07/2024 01:20

plus my "friends" wanted the real me, rather than machivelli wannabe so to speak, so if i annoy them by debating etc then they asked for me that way

OperationGoldenDawn · 08/07/2024 01:19

Ive had various debates at times, i guess if they do they do, that said i still have myself at the end of the day

Libre2 · 08/07/2024 01:12

Yep - feel like I am haemorrhaging friends at the moment and yes everyone is very precious about weird stuff and yea animals are easier OP. Sorry, no pithy sound bites but lots of sympathy.

SnowFrogJelly · 08/07/2024 00:56

Yes.. especially today 🥺

Original poster
OptimismvsRealism · 08/07/2024 00:04

Aquamarine1029 · 08/07/2024 00:00

You find this to be true with everyone you interact with?

Show quote history

Not everyone but increasing numbers have this cold energy. I think maybe it's creeping unhappiness. Making people rigid with negative feelings.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 08/07/2024 00:00

OptimismvsRealism · 07/07/2024 23:58

No... It's that people are really touchy and react oddly to things they wouldn't have ten years ago.

Show quote history

You find this to be true with everyone you interact with?

Original poster
OptimismvsRealism · 07/07/2024 23:58

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2024 23:53

over things I thought were light-hearted or throwaway comments

The answer lies on what you think are light-hearted or throwaway comments. I know several people who think their commentary is always hilarious. It's not. They're insufferable at best.

No... It's that people are really touchy and react oddly to things they wouldn't have ten years ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
OptimismvsRealism · 07/07/2024 23:56

Talking about my day can cause reactions over me liking or doing things that are now problematic (e.g. buying a soda stream... Still not sure why - does anyone know?)

If something went well I find you can't talk about it with many people because too many people will be annoyed/ insecure and react meanly about it

If something goes badly the subject so often gets turned back to "anyway about MY day"

I've always had a comfy number of friends but slowly feels like they're eroding

I think I lost a good one over COVID stuff (she never said but I can't think what else) and our group fell apart as a result

Everything is just

:(

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2024 23:53

over things I thought were light-hearted or throwaway comments

The answer lies on what you think are light-hearted or throwaway comments. I know several people who think their commentary is always hilarious. It's not. They're insufferable at best.

Mmhmmn · 07/07/2024 23:51

What are you saying to people?

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 07/07/2024 23:49

Ivyrosecrayon · 07/07/2024 23:46

Yes.
But then I remind myself that I actually really like and have a lot of time for other people..
So why do I spend time worrying everyone is annoyed by me?
I'll tell you why... it's because I'm annoyed by me. Because I have to put up with myself 24/7.
We are all our own worst critics.
In reality not many people out there are cuntish enough to really judge you negatively.. and out of the people who are cuntish enough, not even all of them have the time and energy because they've probably got drama going on.
And then finally.. those few who are cuntish enough and happen to have the time, to feel negatively about you...
Well why should you care anyway?
Do you really want horrible people like that to like you?

This made me laugh. I agree I annoy me too!

LampGhost · 07/07/2024 23:47

The most likeable and charismatic people I know personally have one thing in common - they don’t worry about what people think. I don’t mean opinionated, “I tell it like it is”, tactless types. I mean people who do what they want to do, unapologetically.

Watching everything you say for fear of driving people away is probably counterproductive.

Ivyrosecrayon · 07/07/2024 23:46

Yes.
But then I remind myself that I actually really like and have a lot of time for other people..
So why do I spend time worrying everyone is annoyed by me?
I'll tell you why... it's because I'm annoyed by me. Because I have to put up with myself 24/7.
We are all our own worst critics.
In reality not many people out there are cuntish enough to really judge you negatively.. and out of the people who are cuntish enough, not even all of them have the time and energy because they've probably got drama going on.
And then finally.. those few who are cuntish enough and happen to have the time, to feel negatively about you...
Well why should you care anyway?
Do you really want horrible people like that to like you?

CharlotteRumpling · 07/07/2024 23:44

With so much communication by text and so many social media friendships, tone is often missed.

Alicewinn · 07/07/2024 23:43

Can you give an example?