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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not look at this couple in the same way anymore?

706 replies

AvrilAprill · 07/07/2024 23:17

At the end of last year I made friends with a mum who’d just moved to the area. We got on great, as did our partners.

However, I’ve now found out that they first got together when she was 16 and he was 20/21. It genuinely makes me feel uncomfortable knowing that, and my husband says I’m being weird

OP posts:
Gogogo12345 · 10/07/2024 13:46

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:43

Well mine was actually the same age as me, didn't like older guys hitting on me, just seemed rather creepy. And working with people who had been in situations just confirmed my beliefs really.

Did you know that at 16 years old our brain are still developing? It's fascinating the differences between the ages and what progress our brains make. There's quite a difference between 16 and 20 years old

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According to many people on here brains are still developing until you are 25. So by that standard it's wrong for a 24 year old to be with a 28 year old

And if you want to go on about different stages in life. Why does a 17 year old living independently and working have less life experience than a 20 year old still living with parents and at college

ElleintheWoods · 10/07/2024 13:45

AvrilAprill · 07/07/2024 23:17

At the end of last year I made friends with a mum who’d just moved to the area. We got on great, as did our partners.

However, I’ve now found out that they first got together when she was 16 and he was 20/21. It genuinely makes me feel uncomfortable knowing that, and my husband says I’m being weird

How old are they? If they’re 35+, I’d say it was somewhat more accepted then.

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:43

Gogogo12345 · 10/07/2024 13:37

Lol. My boyfriend at the time was 19. Wonder if that's acceptable or it's just once they turn 20 it changes.

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Well mine was actually the same age as me, didn't like older guys hitting on me, just seemed rather creepy. And working with people who had been in situations just confirmed my beliefs really.

Did you know that at 16 years old our brain are still developing? It's fascinating the differences between the ages and what progress our brains make. There's quite a difference between 16 and 20 years old

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:39

Gogogo12345 · 10/07/2024 13:37

Lol. My boyfriend at the time was 19. Wonder if that's acceptable or it's just once they turn 20 it changes.

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19 is still a teenager
20 a MAN

might be that 😂It all magically change at midnight on their birthday

Gogogo12345 · 10/07/2024 13:38

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:36

*even if a child has reached 16 years of age and is:

  • living independently
  • in further education
  • a member of the armed forces
  • in hospital; or
  • in custody in the secure estate
they are still legally children and should be given the same protection and entitlements as any other child*

protection and entitlements, of course

but old enough to live alone, or be in the army. Come on, let's be realistic here.
No one will ever write that a 10 year old, an actual CHILD, could be living independently or be in the army. 🙄

What about a married 16 year old? Still ick for them to have sex?

RenoDakota · 10/07/2024 13:38

Nothing wrong with that at all.

Gogogo12345 · 10/07/2024 13:37

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:26

Same but you and I were still children nonetheless

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Lol. My boyfriend at the time was 19. Wonder if that's acceptable or it's just once they turn 20 it changes.

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:36

*even if a child has reached 16 years of age and is:

  • living independently
  • in further education
  • a member of the armed forces
  • in hospital; or
  • in custody in the secure estate
they are still legally children and should be given the same protection and entitlements as any other child*

protection and entitlements, of course

but old enough to live alone, or be in the army. Come on, let's be realistic here.
No one will ever write that a 10 year old, an actual CHILD, could be living independently or be in the army. 🙄

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:32

Whatstheword21 · 10/07/2024 13:30

Met my husband when I was 17 and he’s 4 years older. Pretty much everyone in our friendship group were the same. 15 years together now and married 10.

Back in the real world, it's quite normal, or common enough that no one will bat an eyelid.

It's 4 years with late teens/ young adults.

Some people are just weird, or have no memory of their teenage years and obviously have no experience whatsoever with teenagers at home 😂

IamaRevenant · 10/07/2024 13:32

I do think things were different a couple of decades ago. When I was at school lots of 15/16 year old girls were being picked up by their 20+ year old boyfriends in their cars. Not saying it's right but it was just a lot more normalised.

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:31

So because I don't agree with it I am apparently scared of the term "boyfriend"?

There's some creepy weirdos on here, how do we report?

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:30

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:29

wow, who's the weirdo? You can't talk about creepy and eek factor without being honest about what your problem is. What is creepy exactly? What are we talking about here? It is just the name "boyfriend" that offends you? 😂

But please do tell us how it goes when you dramatically tell your 16 year old kid "but you are still A CHILD" , how does that even go for you 😂

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Just go away, you are harassing me now. I asked you to leave me alone.

You are creeping me out

Whatstheword21 · 10/07/2024 13:30

Met my husband when I was 17 and he’s 4 years older. Pretty much everyone in our friendship group were the same. 15 years together now and married 10.

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:29

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:24

Well you clearly have a fascination with 16 year olds and sex... just go away you weirdo

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wow, who's the weirdo? You can't talk about creepy and eek factor without being honest about what your problem is. What is creepy exactly? What are we talking about here? It is just the name "boyfriend" that offends you? 😂

But please do tell us how it goes when you dramatically tell your 16 year old kid "but you are still A CHILD" , how does that even go for you 😂

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:26

Gogogo12345 · 10/07/2024 13:24

But not everyone is a " child" at 16. I had my own place a full time job and was doing A levels at evening classes. Prob more independent than a lot of 18 year old schoolgirls these days

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Same but you and I were still children nonetheless

Gogogo12345 · 10/07/2024 13:24

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:14

I'm not talking about the actual age gaps rather than the actual ages.

I had 20 year olds approach me at 16 years old and it was just icky and creepy. I was still a child.

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But not everyone is a " child" at 16. I had my own place a full time job and was doing A levels at evening classes. Prob more independent than a lot of 18 year old schoolgirls these days

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:24

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:23

and you think 16 year old don't have sexual relationships?

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Well you clearly have a fascination with 16 year olds and sex... just go away you weirdo

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:23

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:22

And all 16 year olds are still children. Eeek.. 🤢

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and you think 16 year old don't have sexual relationships?

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:23

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:21

legally, not quite a child, did you miss that?

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Did you miss my link deary? 16 A CHILD

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:22

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 10/07/2024 13:16

I'm completely with you, but you need to remember that we are the weirdo dinosaurs.

If a girl is 16, she is over the age of consent, so there's nothing untoward whatsoever if a grown man who is 4, 10, 20, 40, 60, 80 years older than her wants to be in a sexual relationship with her - nothing at al.........

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yes, that's exactly what people are saying, a 4 year gap is EXACTLY the same as a 40, 60 or 80 year old having a 16 year old girlfriend. Totally the same thing 😂

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:22

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:20

what's the problem? That they probably have sex? So what?

Would she not have sex if her boyfriend was 16? Unlikely.

Is it better to have sex with a 16 year old boy who is just adding numbers to show off to his friends?
Or is it better with a 20 year old who has it slightly over his system and can actually care for the girl?

Really, what exactly is the problem? Some 16yo might be very baby-ish, or so their mum things, some are very mature. It's ridiculous to generalise.

And all 16 year olds are still children. Eeek.. 🤢

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:21

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 10/07/2024 13:19

Actually 16 is still a child, but you go on..

So much ick on this thread 🤢

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legally, not quite a child, did you miss that?

Epicaricacy · 10/07/2024 13:20

what's the problem? That they probably have sex? So what?

Would she not have sex if her boyfriend was 16? Unlikely.

Is it better to have sex with a 16 year old boy who is just adding numbers to show off to his friends?
Or is it better with a 20 year old who has it slightly over his system and can actually care for the girl?

Really, what exactly is the problem? Some 16yo might be very baby-ish, or so their mum things, some are very mature. It's ridiculous to generalise.