To not look at this couple in the same way anymore?

I don't see a problem with that - girls are often more mature at that age and not interested in boys their own age. I had 21/22 year old boyfriends at 16. It's not wierd or creepy. I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 20 which is not much different - still married 34 years later 🤷‍♀️

My Mum was 14 and my Dad 21 when they met.
Mum was working in a mill .. Dad was in the army ( ww11) and home on leave.
They married when my Mum was 18 and Dad 25.
Stayed together. Had 6 kids ( one lost).
16 and 20 is no big Gap.
If it was 20 and 24 would that be different?

There's a couple who are on Channel 5 quite regularly, who have now been married for two decades or more, but who were (iirc) 14 and 18 when they got together.

I have seen it come up time and again on here, where people always opine that it was very dubious on his (the then-18yo's) part - and I agree; but going on the attitudes of most people on this thread, I presume we would just be being horrible and judgmental to even mention it, let alone find it uncomfortable, considering that they are now still together, several children down the line?

Hmmm.

I can imagine a thread such as,

Just found out my 16yo DD is dating a 20yo man. Should I be concerned?

Would go a very different way to this thread ….

Can you hear my eyeballs rolling?

Thats pretty much the same as my late husband and me. We met when I was 14 and he was 17. He stayed around in the friendship gang until I was 17 and we started dating, married when I was 21. We were first and onlies. I don't think its common but its not weird either. It sounds stupid to say we knew from the moment we met, but thats the factual truth.

Because from what I've seen on MN over the years, clearly the man must be into girls that age per-se and will still be chasing them at 60. Apparently.

I'm intrigued to know how old these people are now, because 25-30 years ago a lot less people would have questioned a 16 & 20 year old. God knows I had left school and was working full time at 16.

Unless you think there was some grooming involved, I wouldn't let this spoil an otherwise good friendship. You're making friends with the people they are now, not the people they were then.

I think you need to get a grip as well as be reasonable.

Yes, of course that's why grown men target 16-year-old girls - because they're a bit immature. The poor, innocent souls... 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes, you are being weird. I was 15, he was 20. He was 21 when I turned 16, he wanted to wait & he wanted to make sure I was ready (ready?? I was gagging🤣) the boys at school just wanted into my pants, even the 'nice' boys were more interested in having sex than how the girls felt. We were together 10 years and split up for reasons that had nothing to do with our ages.

4 years is a huge gap when it's 16 and 20. Massive.
50 and 54 for example is nothing but 16 and 20 is uncomfortable. I'd feel the same for a moment im sure but how old are they now?

Your husband is right. I take it we have all moved on now and she is old enough to present that the man 4 years her senior in age is OK for her. My husband is 6 years older than me and we met when I was 20. Obviously, if you wind it back, he would have been 20 when I was 14, which is unacceptable (and illegal) but people do mature at different ages. It is sort of irrelevant, as you have all moved on in age, and it it isn't causing them a bother, so kindly, why should it you ??

You’re being unreasonable and it’s got nothing to do with you. What an odd reaction!

Times were different not so long ago. I was 16 when I met my now husband, who was 23. Nobody batted an eyelid back then (22 years ago). I knew what I was doing, the relationship was fully consensual and we have had a very happy marriage. I don’t know why so many women get so invested in other people’s age gap relationships, it’s really strange. Even more so when it’s only a 4 year age gap. Concentrate on your own life instead, maybe?

Personally, I have far less of an issue with couples where there is a 25-year gap - as cited on here as being unreasonable - when they get together at, say, 40 and 65, than a 4/5-year gap at 16 and 20/21.

I find it quite strange in the former scenario - and I wonder if such people have really thought through what it will mean into old age - but to me, that's two proper, seasoned adults, who well know their own minds.

Oh dear. I was 17 and my husband was 25 when we started dating. He was my first and only boyfriend - a good man and a kind and caring husband for forty years until he died six years ago. We were inseparable almost from the start and didn’t think anything of the age gap - neither did our parents. How times change !!

I met my husband literally in my 17th birthday, he
Was 22.why is that weird?

That’s what I thought. If they knew that you felt uncomfortable OP they probably think you’re an uptight, prude.

It depends on their age now. In the 80/90's ID wasn't needed, so life experience at those ages would have been similar, we were drinking in pubs from 14/15. In a lot of girls cases, were they'd been helping their Mum etc run the house/babysit and had learnt about the importance of budgeting, they could actually be a lot more mature than the 20 year old lad. There was an age difference between me and my DH and I know we were judged by some, but I was honestly old enough at 16 (1984) to leave my parents house and set up home. We were different than today.

I don’t get why this would impact your friendship now. I am with your DP, you are being ridiculous

You're being ridiculous.

I don’t think it’s grim at all. Perfectly fine IMO.

I met my husband when I was 14 and he was 22. We did not get together at that point but I knew he liked me when I was about 15. We had a few "moments" when I was 16 - 17 (nothing physical) and then I went off to university and finally we got together when I was 23 and he was 31. 24 years and two kids later we are still very happy.