To not look at this couple in the same way anymore?

@Iaskedyouthrice

As has been explained many times, things were different. Teenagers were more mature and early 20's were considered young adults, there really wasn't a significant gap.

now we baby 16 year olds & yet consider 18 year olds as adults (when it suits people anyway)

besides she's met this couple as parents of a primary aged children, the age they met is none of her concern, it's just weird.

At 16 I was easily as mature as my husband was at 20 and then some. We're both the same age and met at 18, but it's still a fact.

I thought it was common knowledge boys are a few years emotionally and socially behind girls.

True. When I started at university, a girl on my course had been dating her boyfriend since she was 14. He was a few years older. When we graduated they got married and are still together more than 40 years on. Not grim.

Not sure what university ages 20/21 year old man would be interested in a 16 year old, essentially a school girl. Also not sure from the information you have provided how old either of them are now?

Given you are a friend who has met them later in life and have said how nice they are, you should actually show some care (if you value said friendship, which I’m not sure you do?) and mind your own business.

Life has taught me that you really can’t judge these things- you need to look at each case individually. I know of three couples with similar situations - actually bigger age gaps. In each case the couples are totally suited to each other, very much in love and have lasted ages.

Even if you weren't particularly mature at 16, you're not a little child. A man of 20 is hardly much older. If you have adult DC most of you will know what I mean. It's not a significant age gap, and certainly isn't predatory, weird or (dear lord)- "grim".

Maybe it's me - but I've never met a teenager who is more sensible or mature than an adult, even an "immature for their age" adult.

Even a smart teenager is still a teenager. I was an idiot at 16.

@CatrionaBalfour I think because people in the U.K. now treat 16/17 year olds like children, yet expect them to instantly be adults at 18. Whereas when I was a teenager I was expected to be much more mature & definitely not a child.

You dont know the full history they were ok before you knew this just let it be

Yes, but I don't think they got jiggy until she was a bit older. I mean, when she was married. But that WAS a different generation.
Now it seems that anyone can sleep with whomsoever they want, whenever they want, married or not.
Unless you're on MN, in which case, it's whoever the coven deems suitable

What a devastating blow that must be for the PP 🤣

These responses are so contrary but it's not as funny as it normally is when it's discussing young girls.
I doubt very much any (female) poster here would be happy with their 16 year old dd seeing a 20 year old. The differences in life experience at these specific ages are huge.
I would judge my 20 year old son if he started seeing a 16 year old, I would worry about him choosing someone with NO life experience.
So to come on here and insist there's nothing wrong with it mainly to stick it to an OP... I don't like that. Not one bit. It is not something that should be encouraged, girls have enough shit to deal with these days.

I feel the same. Adults dating children will
always gross me out. I worry about the vulnerability of the younger party and find the older one either immature or predatory/creepy.

It was all over Facebook and insta too

Twenty and on fb? Leave that to your nan 😂

@myotherdogisadonkey
🤣🤣🤣

im 55 it was perfectly acceptable when I was a teenager,

Now that really is creepy

I genuinely don't understand the problem. A 16 year old going out with a 20/21 year old? Why is this an issue?

Me neither.

Oh they can!
Anyone with morals, or who thinks gentle parenting is a fucking ridiculous, is a dinosaur or an old person who has ruined life for the generations following..

Why is it "grim"?

Wouldn't it be easier to hand a questionnaire out to people so potential friends know what you think is acceptable or not?

I don't think this is weird - it was pretty common when I was that age in the late 90s.

But I would say my teens would find it incredibly weird. It's not a thing at all at school to date anyone even out of your own year. That may change when they get to 6th form.

When I was 16 I could easily pass for 20. I worked at week-ends and went to the pub with older friends hence my boy friends at the time tended to be around 20. But I was mature for my age and most 20 year old boys are not so the gap you're talking about was non existant in my situation. Give the couple a break, clearly it worked out fine. Look at Macron who met his then 40 year old wife when he was 16!!! Now, that was disgusting cause she was his drama teacher. But now decades later, who cares?

So non-asults can join the army, legally get married, etc. But YOU don't think it is right...
It's like Les Dawson doing his Ada chatacter here. All folded arm under having bosums and gurning

This wouldn't even register on my radar.