To not look at this couple in the same way anymore?

I was 17 and DH was 21. What’s the problem? and what has it got to do you with you? Either you like them as a couple, or you don’t.

I'm with you, OP. Now that they're adults, they are probably on the same level mentally, but 16 years old and 22 years old are very strange and questionable. I'm not even talking physical level of maturity, I'm talking psychological one. 21-22 is a college student/past college, I can't see people from that circle being interested in friendships or communication with high schoolers. Even the "half your age plus seven" rule doesn't apply here as his minimum would be 17-18 (no that it would be healthy still, I think it mostly applies to people in their 30s). I can inderstand him being a catch for her, because in her eyes he probably was so grown and everything, but what was in her, a literal child, for him, an actual adult? That is the question.
However, I tend to think everyone knows best for themselves, so if they're happy, I'd let it go. It's shady and very questionable, but not my business after all.

I agree. I was in full time work from 17 and moved into a rented flat at 18.

That teacher should have been in prison.

Yes this.

Yes you're being weird!

4 years is a normal age gap!

My parents had the same gap. Met at 18 and 22. Married for umpteen years until my mum died young of cancer in her 60's.

Tbh I'm not sure there's much difference between 16 and 18. Depending on when birthday falls it could literally only be about a year!

I completely disagree with you on this. If anything girls in particular are being forced to grow up more quickly and the rise of easily accessible hardcore porn and expectations of anal sex/strangling etc has put a sexual pressure on them unlike anything my generation ever experienced. It is a very difficult time to be a teenage girl right now.

Improved safeguarding and better sexual boundaries isn’t infantilising teenagers.

The reasons why children in the UK are so unhappy compared to others has been written about. Adult men who want to have sex with teenagers are judged. If those men are in their 20s, their peers do judge them.

I think 16 year olds today are very young and child-like, I was 17 when I started dating my DH who was 21, I was driving, had a job, paid for and owned my own car and would house sit for people in our village (so responsible for homes/pets of complete strangers).
We have been married over 20 years- quite happily too!

I don’t know any 17 years old like that now, they all seem like preteens and so it would seem strange nowadays.

I wouldn't be delighted. But nor would I assume the worst.

What I wouldn't do is judge adults of an age to be parents of school aged children, for the (legal) age they got together.

At least they were both of consensual age. When I was in 6th form, one of our teachers 'fancied' a girl in year 8. They married and had children. Her parents supported the relationship. They're separated now after 20+ years, but I still find it absolutely awful 😞.

I never understand what young women find sexy or attractive about immature older men.

Strange reactions. I was 19, he was 26. Been together 24 years, now 43 and 51. I never thought much of it?

And yes, teenagers really are being infantilised these days. It does them no favours.

I wonder how many of the mothers of daughters on here saying it's fine would be delighted that their 16 year old child was with a 21 year old man?

I agree with you OP but I work in safeguarding children so perhaps I always see the worst.

What a bizarre non issue.

It would be considered an inappropriate relationship now-a-days and a potential safeguarding issue.

A safeguarding issue? No it wouldn't. A 16 year old is of age to have consensual sex.

I'd argue that babying young people to the extent we do now, insisting that sixteen year olds are children, isn't the enlightened approach some think.
Many of them seem so anxious and unhappy.

I think you would've combusted living in my youth OP. Some of my schoolmates used to date older guys, especially ones with cars and I was jealous! Most girls prefer maturity and both him and her are over the age of consent. I would keep my friendship with them unless they find out something about you which gives them the ick 😀

A lot of people think it’s creepy. OP my YA son knows someone of 22 who was dating a 16 year old. They definitely look down on him and think he’s creepy. ETA other kids consider that age gap creepy nowadays

I think it is a generational thing.

Mandy Smith’s MOTHER took her round to that old nonces house when she was THIRTEEN years old. Now she’d be arrested for pimping out her kid for clout.

It would be considered an inappropriate relationship now-a-days and a potential safeguarding issue. She is still a child. He is an adult. It doesn’t matter if she’s “mature for her age” and he’s “a sweet and nice guy” and they’ve been together ever since - this would be a red flag. Most 20 year olds don’t want to date or even hang out with a 16 year old imo. The developmental gap is pretty large. One is a child and one is an adult.

Quite. It's so bitter and twisted.

Agreed completely, I'd add that the OP's response was also extremely childish as well

There are reasons why it could be odd but as long as they seem happy and well suited now does it matter. My biggest concern is alway that they are looking for someone who they can more easily control with that kind of age gap if that isn’t there and they have been together a long time does it matter

Wow.

Just wow.

Sabadoo, I’m very pleased to hear that you’re happy now x