To not look at this couple in the same way anymore?

You may find it "outdated", it's still a phrase in usage which I consider to be apt in this case.

I doubt that very much.

Based on this thread and others on here about other subjects, my teen and young adult kids and their friends have far more sense than most mumsnetters. They have good boundaries, treat friends, family and gfs/bfs well and don't need to ask questions for which the answers should be obvious to.

As is so often said on here, mumsnet doesn't seem to reflect real life, thankfully.

That's because they are girls. They need to be advised and supported. Parents need to know what's going on. If she's open with you about a relationship you have two choices: talk to her, advise her, talk to him, warm him off if you are concerned and stop her from going out.
Or shout "grim! Icky!" as you chase him down the street. It's a choice.

People also seem to misunderstand that a 16 year old girl and a 20 year old man is not the same as a 13 year old girl and a 29 year old man. Very different.

When I was 16/17 I started going out clubbing, obviously lots of the people there were in their twenties and it didn't feel weird to have a snog or whatever. It certainly didn't make them perverts.

I most definitely was not going out clubbing at 13 though. It's a massive difference as you say.

And yet you refer to both the 13yo & the 16yo as girls & not the latter as a woman.

Since you're obsessed with online gossiping about this couple's relationship, why haven't you found out whether he was 20 or 21?

I know you're going to ask 'What does it matter?'

But I'm curious, because you seem to know everything else that's not your business?

People also seem to misunderstand that a 16 year old girl and a 20 year old man is not the same as a 13 year old girl and a 29 year old man. Very different.

The attitude to teenagers is so horribly censorious, often based on taking specific newsworthy cases of teachers or other situations that are exploitative and applying it to every other scenario where a younger teen is with an older person. The context is everything, it's not just about the age.

I'm not contemplating it. You raised it.

I can think of at least 3 news stories recently of female teachers sleeping with students
And 1 actual experience at school

I doubt that very much.

I was a bit shocked when I found out my friend had got together with her older husband when she was 16 and he was 32! He's now retired and she's nearly 50. It was fine between them for years but he's really quite an old seeming nearly 70 year old and she's quite a youthful 49 year old. It does look like she's taking her dad out. But 16 and 20, nothing in comparison.

@HalfwayToHell Thank god teens seem to have more sense than their bloody parents appear to.

I think regarding the age gap at 16 it depends upon the maturity and personality and you/we cannot possibly know that. As far as this situation I don't believe its anybodies concern, lots of people have things in their lives we might view differently and that is their business. So no I don't would not find it uncomfortable nor would it change my opinion of the couple.

I genuinely feel like I’m transported back in time on this thread.

Did you just start this thread to shout about how old everyone is? Because that is literally all you've gone on about.
Overall, you seem absolutely obsessed with people's ages.

That age gap wouldn’t bother me. In many ways girls mature earlier than boys anyway. If you’d said 16 and 28 that might be a bit different.

My kids are those ages. The thought of my sons 21 year old friends being interested in dating my daughter is sickening. Fortunately, they would all agree.

Sometimes mumsnet has a very low bar. I'm happy with my morals and boundaries, I feel sorry for kids who have parents that think it's ok for 21 year olds to be dating them when they're 16.

Generally teens young adults seem to have good boundaries with age gaps now which I'm pleased about. It's their parents/grandparents who seem to see the days of older men and teens as something to aspire to and go back to.

When PIL met, MIL was 15 and FIL was 20. They were together for decades, until she died.

That's grim. That's icky.

Why are you even contemplating a 15yo seeing a 20? A 20yo should not be going after 15yos, so whether he backs-off is irrelevant. It's a serious safeguarding issue that the parents would 'give him a chance, he might be lovely'. Your hypothetical 20yo man wants to have a 15yo girlfriend, he cannot be lovely.

I'm dumbfounded by this thread.

That’s exactly how I felt back then too.

Fwiw - there's a term among young ppl that I learned this morning. I was asking 16yo son (2wks off 17) what the response amongst his peers would be at the 16/20 age thing - if it were a friend of his, what would he think?

It did happen to a 16yo friend & her 19yo boyf, it's called being 'nonced on'. The 19yo lost friends & the 16yo was told repeatedly that this wasn't ok & she needed to be careful of him.

It seems even dating outside of year groups at school is looked down on & if you're at college then secondary school is off the cards entirely.

For the avoidance of doubt - working class here, low performing school in an area with more food banks than there should be. So these are ordinary kids & teens.

To be clear! OP should not change her relationship with the couple but yes that original age difference at those ages was, & remains, inappropriate. The voting doesn't necessarily reflect what this thread turned into.

So do many of us on here! You're judging this couple (who are settled and with children) because of the age when they first dated, which, by the way, wasn't alarmingly young. What do you want to happen?.

That's a perfectly normal age gap.