Would you leave someone who wouldn't buy a home with you?

I agree. But my point was aimed more at no kids or no marriage being classed as more of a casual arrangement. Her saying after 4 years it’s a absolute joke but if he doesn’t want that he may be happy 4 years in living together, that’s why she’s got to decide what she wants. If they haven’t had the talk then how would he know what she wants or expects?

That's fine as long as you are in agreement. The thing is that if OP wants marriage, and she implied that she does, this guy is not for her.

If you've been together seven years and he doesn't want to marry or be tied to you financially, he isn't going to change his mind. If marriage and home ownership with a man is something you want, this is not the right person.

He’s holding you back and dragging you down.

Buy your own place and bin him off.

I don’t think not wanting marriage and kids classes as not wanting commitment. My partner and I are very commited to each other but we don’t want kids together or to be married. We feel very strongly against both but We are what each other needs and I’ve never felt so secure in a relationship.

Sorry that you’re in this position, it’s not nice. Trust your gut with this, don’t let him use you as a roommate to keep his expenses low until he meets somebody he wants to commit to. It’s not you, it’s him, he’s clearly just a selfish piece of crap wasting your prime years. Get yourself a lovely room mate, go live life, give yourself the chance to meet your person.

Could the nervous laugh be that he’s hoping to surprise you soon? 🤞 If he isn’t sure yet, what is holding him back from being sure?

Taylor Swift’s lyric ‘And I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free’ gets me every time. Buying a house is more of a commitment than marriage in my eyes because it can be so tough and complicated to sell, so I would want to know I was on the same page as DP any way before taking that step if marriage is a goal. Good luck OP, I’m sorry your feeling this way x

Talk to him. You need to let him know how you're feeling about this. Don't take offense if he's not in the same place as you are and he's not ready to make a commitment to a joint mortgage. It's a big thing and you both have to very sure! If I were you, I'd consider buying somewhere small on your own if you can afford it.

It partly depends on where you are in life. DH and I had been together for 5 years when we got engaged but I was only 23 and definitely wouldn’t have wanted to commit any younger than that. If you’re in your 30s, it’s a different dilemma.

Did you discuss future plans before moving in together
No way would I have given up my independence without that

I don’t know why you would even want to buy a house with someone like that. Put yourself first, if you are in a position to buy a property, do it on your own.

Do you want kids OP? Does he?

You both need to sit down and have an honest open chat.

It's fine if he doesn't want to 'settle down' and you do BUT you do both need to be honest and see if this chapter of your life is over.

To me it just sounds like he's there more out of habit than life partners.

Maybe he’s planning a surprise proposal?

He's just not that into you.
Sorry op, move on.

Go for it. His attitude is hurtful, but you can still make good decisions for your own future, and there other men in the world.

Tricking your partner into hanging on in the hope of marriage and chilren when you have no intention of moving on to that is a very nasty character flaw. Deception is not oK.

How old are you both OP?

The question is why are you here telling us everything you need to tell him?!

Go and tell him how you feel then update us!

He is literally wasting your time at the moment and that’s soo selfish of him

You are a will do for the moment GF.

It happens more often than you think, very much akin to that film he is just not that in to you. Men overall will absolutely go for it if they are in to you. You haven’t stated your age op but as you want childrne don’t hang about hoping he will change his mind.

When DH and I returned from our honeymoon, two of my close friends who attended with their boyfriends of the time had broken up. We were all around 30 and when others starts to settle round you it concentrates the mind and it’s not always the outcome that was expected.

I would leave him and buy my own place . Three years is long enough to know if you want to commit to someone. If you want kids in the future don't keep hanging on .

I think if you're young and want to get on the property ladder, I would call time on this relationship. If the situation was that you were both older and he already owned a house, I can see why he wouldn't want to give up that security to start again buy with you, but it doesn't sound like this is the case.

There is nothing unusual or wrong in having different priorities, but in your case these seem ones you cannot compromise on. Painful as it probably will be, perhaps time to end the relationship.

It seems clear that you want different things from life. Don't waste your life waiting for him to change because if after living together for 3 years he has decided he doesn't want to make a life with you move on and find someone who does want to. You will find someone who shares your goal and you will be happier. Don't let him hold you back

Anotherdayanotherpizza · Yesterday 22:27
I can afford to buy something small on my own, it's the fact that after years he clearly doesn't trust me enough to want to enter into a mortgage with me.

It's horrible, a slap in the face, but at least you know now. It would be even worse after 5, 6, 7 years
I would buy your place, continue your life plan, and think about wether he has a place in it.