Am I being dramatic?

I don't understand how his snoring is so loud it wakes you up from a different floor when he falls asleep on the couch, but if he went to bed in a different room (presumably on the same floor as you) you wouldn't hear it?

But tbh the snoring thing sounds indicative of a much bigger issue with him generally not giving much of a fuck about you.

He sounds totally checked out tbh. Snoring aside (and that's bad enough) you must find that completely frustrating. I think you need to sit him down and give him a few cold hard truths. The situation as it is doesn't sound sustainable in the long term.

If it's a dealbreaker for you, you need to say so. If he still won't seek a solution then you know. At the moment he's not taking you seriously and as you've put up with it for 7 years, you can kind of see why.

This.

My dh snores.
I raised it and he went to the gp and got a spray that corrects it within a week.

Sit him down and tell him it stops now. Today.
He either goes to bed at a decent hour and makes an appointment with the GP.
If that means he has to sit silently for 4 hours waiting to fall asleep so be it.

Because he doesn't care enough about you to be bothered to go to the GP and begin the process of fixing it. He probably needs a CPAP, but sitting around gaming is more important.

It is his fault if he won’t even investigate if he can be helped.

He's evidently self absorbed and deeply selfish.

I also recommend the wax earplugs.

If you can aid it get him a private at home sleep apnea test. Alternatively get him a chin strip and invest in ear plugs.

He sounds utterly selfish, he should amend his habits and schedule to fit in with family life, and gaming into the wee hours at nearly 50 does not fit in with family life as well as being deeply unattractive

I think it's completely selfish of him. But by the sounds of things he's a selfish man. Only does the bare minimum around the house and childcare? As for not addressing his snoring, it just shows that he doesn't take your feelings into consideration. Add that to the gaming, but how does this man enhance your life?

My dh was a loud snorer. He went to the gp and ended up having his uvula removed to stop the snoring. Very painful but tbh we'd have got divorced if he hadn't sorted it out. He hates the idea of us sleeping in separate rooms, but getting next to no sleep was pure torture for me.

What’s the relationship like generally?

He's not doing it on purpose. He can't help snoring.

Are you saying that if he were in another bedroom upstairs his snoring would not wake you up?

If so, that's the solution.

Not that that’s a solution, but have you looked into Loop earplugs?

Wax earplugs - not foam, they don't work. Quies are good.

I had to record DP before he realised just how loud he really was. Managed to nag/bully him into getting referred for sleep apnea which he claimed he could not possibly have... despite all the symptoms.

Severe obstructive sleep apnea. CPAP machine. Sorted... and strangely enough he's a lot nicer to be around now he isn't permanently sleep deprived.

Wow 😮

He is very selfish and irresponsible.

Why are you still burdening your life with this disgustingly selfish, useless man? The best years of your life are being completely wasted on this loser.

Get the fuck rid of him.

Walk.
What a feckless, selfish, idiotic man baby he sounds. How you have stuck it this long I don’t know.

no I’m upstairs in my bed, and I can hear him all the way downstairs.. he’s that loud. ☹️

Through a closed door? Wow he's loud!

Could you soundproof your room? Use thick carpets or rugs, a sound cancelling curtain over the door, accousic panels and/or shelves or furniture against the walls towards where he is. Plus some soft earplugs?

Obviously he should be dealing with his problem

Can't you get earplugs? Sounds like he needs to see the GP.

My DH was a LOUD snorer, could be heard all over the house. But he was willing to engage and was referred by GP to a sleep consultant at the local hospital. He took part in a sleep study and was found to have very severe sleep apnea. He now uses a cpap machine.

If you can get your husband to engage, I would strongly recommend you try to get him to go to GP for a referral. May not even need to see GP, may be able to just contact surgery and request a referral.

Just because he snores heavily doesn't automatically mean he has sleep apnea, but I believe it's a common denominator.

Otherwise, can I suggest you leave a radio playing quietly when you go to sleep. I found that helped a lot, but not exactly sure why. Didn't need to be loud to actually drown out the snoring, but having another low background noise seemed to help my brain ignore the snoring.

I mean I’m assuming he doesn’t help much around the house or with kids if he’s up all night gaming

if you can hear him upstairs, have you tried white noise to drown him out? Is he not disturbing the kids?

i think I’d rather be by myslf