To dress up for doctor’s appointments?

OP I totally get this. I had to rush my son to hospital a few weeks back. He had had a bad night and we barely slept so I was in tracksuit bottoms, a hoodie and my hair not even brushed and no make up on. I’m late 20s but very small and petite and truth be told I look about 19 when I’m thrown together like that. The doctor was horrible, just looked down their nose completely, I said something about my husband and they were like ‘oh you’re husband??’ Sounding shocked. I eventually snapped when they started using medical jargon and sarcastically said back ‘I’m a chartered accountant, not a doctor so can you explain that to me in plain English.’ Completely changed their tune after that.

I’ve had it on the flip side too, was coming from a work event and had to go to hospital so was dressed up, hair done, make up on (didn’t take away the fact I felt like absolute shite!!) and was treated so lovely.

Have heard tons of cases like this too. My aunt actually married an A&E doctor (now thankfully divorced!) and he openly admitted to me he judges patients (note I know most doctors aren’t like this and most don’t have such an outspoken horrible bias however I do believe many do have subconscious biases)

I do. Shouldn't have to, but studies have shown that middle class or better educated patients have longer spent with them.

I would always be in fresh clothes and look decent for any appointment. Doctors, dentist, spec savers whatever. Showered and fresh. Accepting that coming from work at the end of the day that’s not possible.

The only time I've been taken seriously by my GP was when I turned up in my work gear and face full of make up.
Before, in my leggings and t short working from home gear with messy bun and no make up, dismissed, told it's part of aging at 33(losing body hair, menstrual irregularities, anxiety).

Plot twist. It wasn't.

GP appointments are like gold dust. I’ve not had one since pre covid. If I was ill enough to secure one I think the last thing on my mind would be make up and what I’d be wearing 🤷‍♀️

In principle, I'd make the effort to look presentable wherever I went. Alas, it is so hard to get a GP appointment now that we have to take what's on offer, and if that's during my working day then I have to go as I am...I do a manual job, which I try to look half-decent for, but it's still jeans & tee shirt.

😂 last time I went to the doctors was in September, I felt so bloody rough and looked like death warmed up, no recollection of what I wore but I know it was the same thing I’d been wearing for about 3 days straight. Dread to think what the Dr thought of me!!

I've never noticed this. I just dress normally. In fact when I had a bad reaction to prescribed medication and went to a&e I must have looked horrific as I was treated really quickly and definitely had no make up on in that moment.

I do know though I'm always treated better in every single circumstance as a (young ish) white woman than my husband is as a black man.

I have actually found the opposite. When I wear normal clothes and jewellery etc I have been advised that I can pay privately……

Husband has a chronic illness and recently had an appt for a potential surgery….wait list a bit long….when I asked the surgeon did he operate privately he told me I couldn’t afford it 🤭….we definitely can afford it……totally ridiculous. Although to be fair his attitude did change when I said that we used that hospital a lot….

We cannot write a blank cheque…..but yes can afford a lot of the treatment - but shouldn’t have to pay for it, given the free at the point of service NHS.

Oh dear, I am a hospital consultant and have never dressed up when I have gone to see a GP or taken my children to various appointments/A&E. I have also made a point of not telling them my profession but to let them get on with their jobs without influence. I have an inward eye roll if anyone makes a point of telling me they are a lawyer, as if it would make a difference to me - would do my best by them whoever they are.

No need to do this at my surgery. GPs are either in scrubs or jeans and shirt.

And even beyond the realms of this thread, subconscious bias, learned and unintentionally learned, plays out in our lives every day.

The only way I can deal with it is to cock a snook at the whole damn thing and have pretty much done so my whole 60+years and whilst sometimes I'm consumed by self doubt, in the end I surmise I've done ok so far - still physically and mentally on point, despite still going solo with caring and bill-paying responsibilities - I'm very pleased I've gone through so much life and still remain unchanged.

Judge me erroneously and it's your loss.

Whilst I wouldn't 'dress up' or put make up on, I would definitely make sure I was clean and well presented.

As others have alluded to, unconscious bias is a real phenomenon. The impact will vary depending on the doctor in question and other factors but like in many situations in life you will be treated better if you appear to be respectable and well educated.

I agree, I got changed on two occasions.

One was after a car accident, I managed to get a lift home, change out of my Tesco's uniform before vomiting and realising I was in shock and being taken to a&e, I was still happy I wasn't in my Tesco uniform for the stay in a&e and scans etc.

2nd time my waters broke at home and I dashed up had a shower and put on clean clothes to get to the hospital, luckily I was quick as my baby was born 30 minutes later.

I think I just have it drilled into me by my mum,l she made me change pyjamas for an urgent home visit when I was younger, I had a nasty kidney issue, but I recall her tidying around me and brushing my hair!

:D

When I graduated, I went to my local Job Centre (in addition to using the uni Careers Service).

A chap in a pinstriped suit spoke to me in carefully modulated Scottish Standard English: "Doo you have any qualifications?"

"Yes..."

"What qualifications dooo yoooou have?"

"An honours degree in Russian Language and Literature."

"Jesus Christ, hen! We cannae dae onthing fur you!"

I'd report the doctor 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm not attacking her experience! I'm saying no medical professional should base their seriousness on what a patient looks like in appearance. If they are judging by how someone dresses then are they judging by race also? As that's part of someone's appearance.

Completely agree OP and I have a relative who is a doctor who told me to dress DC up smartly when we were going to an appointment to discuss their upcoming (big) operation with the consultant.

These things do (still) matter and it doesn't hurt to try to present yourself in the best way possible. In the same vein the doctor relative told us to have some pictures by the bedside of the DC doing normal active child things... so that it wasn't just the "ill DC" that the HCPs saw, but the healthy, active DC who was going to get better.

People may sneer at these things but I'm all for helping yourself as much as you can.

I don't dress up for doctors appointments but generally make sure I am tidy and well presented.

I did, however, have to sign on for job seekers allowance years ago when I left university and used to put a suit on for the weekly interviews at the job office.

Part of me wanted them to think that I wasn't not trying and partly because one of the people interviewing me spoke in such a patronising manner to me and asked if I could check a newspaper once a week to look for jobs that I was outraged!

I put on make up before I gave birth. I was worried they'd think I would be a rubbish mother if I didn't look presentable. Seems crazy looking back

It’s also not delusional to suggest that BAME women get worse maternity care, that non professionals get worse mental health care or that women’s pain is underestimated.

100% this is true, I’ve had multiple visits to the doctor before/after work in my smart clothes with the kids and been treated so much better, things explained to me as an equal who is expected to understand etc, and I’ve also been treated like an over-anxious mother/thick as shit when I’ve turned up in leggings and a jumper. Both have happened a number of times with different doctors, there’s definitely a pattern.