Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

I chat believe there someone policing how the OP should have texted a grown adult over a birthday ffs.

Who has time to deal with pandering to self absorbed idiots like the ‘friend’ and put thought into how not to upset her so honestly walking on eggshells

Honestly no one has time to deal with that nonsense

Asked and answered upthread.

Which is exactly the same for every post on here. We only ever hear one side

Yes it is. Being pregnant is really tough and can make you forgetful etc.. op has a lot on. If she doesn't normally forget the friend should cut her some slack. If it's so important to the friend why not remind people ie are you still coming out for my birthday. Why deliberately let people forget then make a fuss.

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who told me to fuck off. It just isn't an acceptable way to speak to a friend.

I am also very forgetful, have frequently forgotten birthdays etc and double booked things. I think if someone is likely to be highly upset and sensitive to their friends forgetting and making mistakes then we're not compatible as friends. Doesn't make them a bad person, I understand that these things are annoying. But not everyone is compatible with everyone else.

That said, even if she did have a good reason for being upset (personally I think she is being precious), telling a friend to fuck off is totally unacceptable. There are more nature and less aggressive ways of dealing with things and I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who thinks it's ok to speak to people like this.

I also can't believe some people are saying to go easy on her because her husband is away. Can she not manage to be polite and mature when she's on her own for a while?

Yep if it was me I'd block 🚫

Maybe this explains it? Her husband is away and she maybe spent her birthday by herself and was hurt you forgot.

She's absolutely unhinged no not send another message if she apologies consider it but you'd be setting yourself up for bs but grovelling! What a loon

There’s only one response to a ridiculous text like hers…

👍🏻

I couldn’t walk on egg shells like this in a friendship. Especially aged 40 plus. Where do you find the headspace??

I’m shocked that there are people willing to give this idiot a second chance. How can anyone be such a doormat that they’ll be spoken to like that as a grown adult and then go back for more?! Absolutely pathetic, people over the age of 18 being precious about their birthdays.

Take no notice of this nonsense. Some posters on mumsnet are batshit!

I couldn't be arsed with a 'friend' like this. You're human, you forgot. It happens. You apologised, there was no need for her to be rude. Someone that behaves how she has really isn't a friend.

Ugly, unforgiving, self-absorbed tendencies shown in that two word response from her. Up to you how you respond but I would take it as a warning. Do you really need all that hassle in a friendship? Wouldn’t you be treading on egg shells in case you happened to upset her again? I think you have enough to contend with, without going back for more of that nasty drama from her.

Some people are really big on birthdays, others less so. You realised your error and tried to make up for it. But she still wants to punish you.
Don't sign up for that OP.

Personally, I would do as she tells you to do and stay well away now.
No response necessary.

See just for putting this into perspective, I've had a friend who after 25 years of friendship I didn't message happy birthday until 2 weeks later. I called her quite upset because life has just been hectic and I couldn't believe I forgot all about it. She told me I was being ridiculous and not to be so silly.

Life happens and we all have to appreciate each others lives. While some might be running smooth, others might not. If I didn't have a calendar and wasn't working all the time, I'd forget what week it was!

Unless you have form for being a neglectful friend then you need to let this friend have her strop until she's ready to come out of it. If not chuck her back.

Take a photo of you wearing the silky turban gift (prize for visible label still attached) , pull a daft face, two thumbs up and send that with the words “ok” before blocking her.

Nobody needs that crap in their life. Her birthday issues are not your problem.

What kind of friendship relies on this level of care in writing texts. Why should op walk on egg shells like this. Who the f has the time or energy for this crap???

This thread makes me think I might “accidentally” forget a lot of birthdays just once to see who the drama queens are and get them out of my life

exactly this, I'm not saying it isn't nice for it to be remebered by your OH or whatever but adults going crazy over Birthdays really mystifies me, it's so childish, big ones fair enough but even then I certainly wouldn't be impressed if any of my friends spoke or texted like that & I wouldn't dream of doing it either, people have enough going on in their lives at our age

Disclaimer* granted I hate my Birthday so I may be slightly biased

Your texts sounded fine op. Her response was uncalled for. If she was unhappy, something a lot less aggressive would have worked.

No need for such a nasty response.

I like this a lot. The friend is a spoilt, entitled twat.
It’s a birthday - whoop de doo.

The so you've only been friends for five years? You do the whole card and it's thing but she's not arranged to meet around her birthday to celebrate?

All sounds very immature and I'd let her go .

Crazy!

FFS, she is a piece of work, isn’t she? My husband once forgot my birthday years ago. He had some big work commitments and I let it slide. What is it with adults behaving like children over their precious birthday?

You got it the wrong way round. The text came after.

Op is too busy and stressed to remember her friends birthday but not too busy or stressed to have organised tickets for herself DH and SIL to watch a gig at the pub.

Clearly the appropriate action should have been ( assuming a friend she likes) -

1. So sorry forgot your birthday yesterday, will drop you your present Monday on way to work.