Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

Very weird take.

I’d divest myself of that “friend”. Completely bizarre and obnoxious behaviour. Don’t be too nice, OP. Arseholes will take you for granted.

I'd reply something like "hoping that wasn't meant for me ha ha..." and just see if that makes her reconsider (get over!) herself!!

From her friend’s perspective: OP forgot. She texted she would take something over soon. She didn’t. When OP next texted she didn’t even mention the birthday.

You might not care. I might not. This friend did. OP knew birthdays were important to this friend. All this friend has had from OP so far for her birthday is one text the day after. As soon as OP realised she should have posted a card and sent some flowers. Job done. How on earth should her friend guess that OP will be over with the £10 present on Monday? She did not tell her friend this info. This plan was in OP’s head.

This friend cares. She is upset. Adults are allowed to be upset when people they care about appear to forget about them. She has overreacted for sure. Maybe she thought they were closer friends than OP thinks.

It’s absolutely fine if OP decides never to contact the friend again. But I think OP knows she let the friend down. She has had plenty of reassurance on here that she can never contact the friend again and saying the friend is in the wrong. I think they were both wrong. So I said so.

Omg. She apologised by text the next day and mentioned she had bought a gift and will drop it off soon. That should be enough. This is an adult!
OP has a family, works and her baby is/was ill. So she had planned to drop it enroute to work.

Some people are so entitled - to throw a tantrum and be so rude is absurd.

This is not even a close friend or family member!

Some of the replies on this thread are completely insane!

So it was her birthday Tuesday.

On Wednesday you remember you missed it, say sorry you will drop something round soon.

Then you don’t send a card or arrange to go round or mention her birthday again.

Five days after her birthday, you still haven’t been round, you’ve bought her a £10 gift although she has no idea you have got anything. You text to see if she fancies going to a gig you already have tickets for and maybe she assumes someone else dropped out. Especially as you don’t mention it could be a belated birthday treat. You don’t mention when you’ll drop the gift round and your friend has still not had a birthday card from you even though she always makes a big effort for you.

She’s probably decided she’ll stick to the people who did remember and not the ones who CBA.

Probably she could have been politer about it. You can either leave it, see if she calms down and contacts you again one day, or ring her to see if you can put it right.

If a friend sent me that text I would have replied "presume that wasn't meant for me? 😂"

If she is serious I wouldn't ever have anything to do with them again unless they apologised and there was an extremely good (and believable) reason.

@Anonforthisq on one of my spitey days I would have answered "so that's a NO!"

Late to this but any chance someone else got hold of her phone/ she was texting someone else? Hopefully just a miscommunication op!!

See I have also been to several funerals recently (some of fairly young people unfortunately) and if anything they have made me celebrate my own and my nearest and dearests birthdays even more than I would have previously

Its a privilege to have another birthday and if that makes me a child, as it’s been said so much on this thread, then so be it

My best friend regularly gives me my kids' presents weeks late but that's just life. And despite sharing a birthday with her she was weeks late with my gift! But she's my best friend not my ex best friend because everyone's busy and everyone has a life! No harm was meant so your friend is unreasonable.

This.
Give her the widest berth.
No one needs such ridiculous drama in their life when they have a family.
If your friends aren't supportive and understanding, leave them to it.
Simply not worth it as you age.
You know her 5 years?? 🙄

I rarely do this without explanation but on this occasion I have to say get a life. Your post is pathetic.

Do exactly what she says and don't look back.

What a rude person she is!

Could this have been "fuck off" as in "OMG fuck off you have got tickets for XXX yes I'd love to go"?

Clutching at straws I know, just wondering as where I'm from that wouldn't be uncommon 🤣

She sounds awful.

Was it actually her 40th though? Had she talked about it with you before? Maybe she thought you’d at least manage to send a text on the day if it was the big 4-0.

Fuck off is awful though.

I don’t have any patience for drama and BS and I have no trouble speaking my mind, but no way would I ever tell a friend to fuck off unless I meant to end the friendship right then and there. I’d be happy to follow orders and fuck right off forever.

This woman sounds deranged.Birthdays are an easy form of manipulation and control. I'd end the friendship.

People who are heavily “into” birthdays and use it as a form of manipulation really are the worst.

An ex-friend of mine did this thing where she deliberately hid her birthday notification on Facebook so that nobody would get any notifications, as a sort of “test” of people’s memory/birthday-devotion skills. And then did this big massive angry post where she fumed and raged about all the people who Didn’t Remember as soon as the notifications stopped popping up. I think I muted her after that.

Some people are ridiculously high maintenance friends.
You aren't her partner.
I do not know when the birthdays are off the top of my head, nor do i exchange gifts with any of my friends.. evenmy closest ones.. unless they've thrown a party and invited me.. then I'd probably bring a gift but even then I wouldn't be able to tell you if the party was on their actual birthday or not...
And I have a lot of friends who I've had a long time.
I'd never expect them to remember my birthday either.. again unless I threw a party or was planning to do something with them in which I would be personally reminding them.. I'd not just sit back and hope they remembered..

Honestly some people are just looking to be offended and hurt.
Could she not have reminded you? Surely she knows you have ADD. If it were important to her she could've phoned you.. or sent you a text a few days before.. didn't even have to be direct could've just been 'not looking forward to turning 41 on tuesday' or whatever..

I mean honestly as an adult do you really sit there thinking all your busy adult friends who have their own families, jobs and multiple children.. as well as many other friends.. are going to always remember the date of your birthday with no prompting??
Particularly if you know they also have ADD?

Nah she's a bad, self absorbed friend to react so badly to this.

Fair enough to feel a little disappointed.. but to text someone 'Fuck off'
Sorry but that's unhinged.

I've personally got no time for people that uptight and uncharitable.

She could keep her high expectations if she were someone I knew.. she could keep her high expectations and she could fuck off with them herself.

She's gonna have a hard lonely life being that dramatic about people's mistakes.

Send her a big glittery “Happy 4th Birthday Card,” the more childishly designed the better. With a packet of hairpins inside. “I just thought maybe you needed to get a grip. Many happy returns!”

Spoilt brat move on and find a less childish friend.

How old is she? This is a 2 year tantrum

I’d happily do as she asked. I can’t do with adults making a big fuss over their birthday.