Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

It’s my bday tomorrow, people know but I don’t bring it up and expect cards and presents. It’s nice if they do but also fine if they don’t we all have busy lives.

An excuse?

yikes

Just because the friend chooses to treat other people's birthdays in this manner doesn't obligate anyone else to. Anyone. Especially people with all kinds of things going wrong in their own lives on top of physical distance between them.

OP hasn't doesn't anything that should have resulted in the friend telling her to fuck off.

I absolutely love birthdays and have felt the sting a few times over the years when friends and family have forgotten, but I wouldn't even dream of speaking to them like that.

The younger me, however, would have text her back with something along the lines of "Well now I'm glad I forgot your birthday, you miserable moo" 😅

Think this is a friendship you could do without.

She's entitled tbh! I also have a friend who makes a massive deal of her birthday. She doesn't 'get' why I don't. It's all her friends and family hear about for weeks and if anyone forgets we have to hear all about it. Self centered and needy come to mind!

OP just text back 'was this meant for me?'

God , just block her - she is totally unreasonable

Obviously it’s a ridiculous response and you are not unreasonable. If you were both 14 then maybe this response would be a bit more normal

This is a completely out of line post. Nothing even to do with the topic.

For all we know, OP could have had the tickets for ages. Or literally have just booked them.

Even IF the tickets had been remembered, and the birthday forgotten, that doesn't warrant being told to fuck off. Not when you've known someone for 5 years, and you know that they have ADD and an SN child. Friends are understanding.

Op there are some bat shit posts in this thread. FO seems quite a dramatic response to a small oversight

Your friends is BU especially as you’ve said she has a birthday week! If someone said that to me I wouldn’t drop off the gift! No offence OP but you have ADD, a child with SEN and you’re in your 40’s so why on earth would you have another child??

You made a mistake. She did it on purpose. She’s an adult. I hate it when adults make a fuss over their birthday especially my friends about their birthday but forget mine.

I would not be contacting someone like her.
don’t be too hard on yourself . You have a lot on your plate.

She's just bloody rude. Tell her never to speak to you like that again, you don't need it, now or ever. Then block her ass.

As usual, posts like this "one side of the story" ones, bring out all the appalled, horrified and disgusting, commenters!
Nobody stops to think of the other persons side at all, because we're not getting that, are we?
Yes, the birthday "week" thing is absolutely pathetic, I agree. Can't be arsed with that!
If the fuck off comment from her supposed friend, was just for the lack of acknowledgement of her birthday, then of course, that was totally batshit crazy and out of order.
But... Her husband is away and maybe/possibly forgot her birthday too.
She makes an effort to remember the OPs birthday, so may just be feeling a little put out about it.
Maybe nobody else wished her happy birthday and if it's a thing for her, then it's a thing. We don't know whether she's usually a princess, entitled, or what!
She may have other things going on and that was the straw that broke the camels back.
We don't know the friend, much as we don't know the OP.
There are always 3 sides to a story; theirs, yours and the truth!
If it was totally out of character for her to send a fuck off, I'd be more worried that the friend was having problems I wasn't aware of. And I'd want to know if she was ok.
I also think that when you're friends, then a wish on the day and a promise to get together with a card and present soon, isn't a hard thing to do!
I've always done small presents and nicely chosen cards for my friends, but that's my thing. I'm certainly not the sort to spit my dummy out like that if I didn't get them back!

Fucking nutter.

My best friend and I both have ADHD and don't actually know when each others birthdays are. Been friends for 20 years. Not everything is as important to everyone.

I think I would leave her alone to stew for a bit. She was out of order and shouldn't speak to a friend like that.
I'm wondering if other people forgot her birthday too and that's wound her up?

Shes ott. But this isn’t about just that!

If she has a birthday week then surely you would have remembered as you’d have been invited to something?

This is not a close friend. It is a friend through her children that she meets every month or two for a coffee.....telling her to fxxk off because she forgot her birthday and is big on birthdays?

Two right I would wonder is she aged 5, batshit, or both?!

It certainly wouldn't encourage me to invest further in such a casual friendship.

If it's out of character, the friend should reach out to you to apologise. It's not being a 'grown up' to ask why you were told to fuck off, it's being a doormat. It's also not going NC over the 'slightest thing'. If a friend told me to fuck off, that's a big thing. If they apologise, then fine, move on.

My boundaries are fine thanks. I am quite happy not to take shit from people but if it was out of character (and we obviously don’t know this friend to know if it was) my first response would be to act like a grown up and ask what’s up with you, are you ok not a 👍 or sarcastic comment

But this is MN where people want to go NC at the slightest thing

Your friend is being ridiculous. A fuck off over a forgotten birthday message is over the top.

Is she normally so precious and high maintenance?

I forget things all the time - it’s called being human.

Just ignore all the stupid people on here giving you a hard time.

A friend wouldn’t tell you to fuck off, that’s disgusting.