Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

@Mothership4two @SamW98

It honestly makes ageing so much better!

My friend has a birthday month but it’s all done in a jokey manner and is basically an excuse to spend the entire month in cocktail bars 🤣🤣 plus it’s December so everyone up for her numerous nights out.

Is it’s done in fun then it’s great but to take it so seriously that it causes a fall out - nah that’s just stupid.

Right, I'm having a 'birthday week' from now on @BeingATwatItsABingThing! Did have a birthday weekend, but will stretch this out in future (definitely want dibs on the last biscuit), 😆

Quite!

I have a birthday week but it strictly applies to my DH only and consists of: Of course I should have the last biscuit; it’s my birthday week! Let’s order food in because it’s my birthday week! I’m having the lie in on Sunday because it’s my birthday week!

No one is expected to make excessive fuss over my birthday because I’m an adult and aware other people have lives and proper priorities.

Are you getting bridezilla vibes? 😂

The most polite response possible is probably "Grow up, name. LIfe is too short for this kind of nonsense between friends",

Even if she was pissed off or upset about you missing her birthday, there’s a million different ways to tell you rather than ‘tuck off’

OP - please ignore the batshit people pleasers on here who live in a parallel universe to the average person. If anyone over about 12 makes such a drama over a birthday then they’re really not worth having in your life.

Your “friend” is an AH. I would either reply with “Everything okay?” Or just leave her to sulk.
I’m forever forgetting friends birthdays and they forget mine. I don’t hold it against them and they don’t hold it against me, because none of us are so entitled to think that our special day should not be forgotten by a friend. Life happens and gets in the way.

You text back "well fuck off yourself - I've cancelled our spa day (she doesn't need to know there was no spa day) and then block her number

Sounds like your freinds with a "woman child" normally I will often try to consider the other side of a story & put that to for consideration (even if I don't agree) but there's nothing here. This is an unreasonable & childish response from your (ex?) freind, I understand for some people birthdays can be important, but freinds have no obligation to big up a birthday, you forgot, only one day had passed by the time you remembered, you had a gift & card & you asked her to join you on a concert you had tickets for... Well it's her loss!

Meet her on her level, I believe what the younger generation do to end a friendship is remove each other from Facebook & block ;)

Totally uncalled for on her part. So you forgot her birthday. Unless it was a big, special birthday then remembering the next day & saying you'll drop her pressie in is absolutely fine. She may have other things going on & you've got the brunt of it. Leave her to cool off & let her reach out to you. If she doesn't then you've had a lucky escape. Who needs friends like that.

After your friend’s nasty response, there’s no way I’d be giving her a card or present. I wouldn’t reply at all and would just let the friendship slide. I’ve also forgotten a friend’s birthday before, simply because I was busy and it wasn’t upmost in my mind. I apologised next day, as you did, and got ‘Lol! No worries!’ and a laughing emoji back. That’s what I’d consider a normal friend reaction in the circumstances.

There are a couple of birthday maniacs on this thread. 😂

She's not a friend and she's not normal. Even if I was going through a rough patch, a bit low and someone forgot my birthday, I wouldn't mind one little bit, it happens. Your 'friend' sounds really nasty, drop her and block her now.

So many options were available to that woman - she could have texted 'I don't feel like going now I know how unbothered you were about my brithday'. Or 'no thanks'. Or just no reply at all.

There's no excuse for texting 'fuck off' to someone who is a friend, and so presumably this friendship is totally over and she no longer considers OP a friend. I would certainly be taking it that way and would not be replying to her - ever. When people tell me to fuck off, I take them at their word and fuck off.

If you genuinely 'came clean' in forgetting and apologised the she is being unreasonable. If you gave a bunch of excuses / reasons why you forgot, then that would be tiresome to hear.
I assume your friend is dealing with stuff too, so there may be stuff going on for her that caused her over-reaction.
Give her a chance to back down with humour, and you may find you have a stronger friendship. If not then she was never an equal friend anyway. Maybe reply 'I understand you need me to fck off, but I've got two fcking tickets for us to see fcking xxxxx, so let's fck off together and have some belated fcking fun for your fcking birth fcking day. RSVFckingP'

I’m glad you’re not my friend 😂

imagine treating every friend with the same level of effort you treat your kids and husband for their birthdays. Say that’s 15 friends, 10 close extended family members, 6 in laws - add to that the kids’ friends birthday parties and niece and nephews birthdays. While juggling a full time job and raising small humans…no wonder some women have a breakdown with those expectations on their time, efforts and headspace that men don’t have imposed on them.

OPs friend chooses to remember and drop a gift on the day- that’s her prerogative. Doesn’t mean OP is obliged to do the same. Most adults know that their friends have busy lives so may occasionally forget it’s their birthday.

Hi OP, your friend sounds very needy. Maybe she's struggling, especially with her DH away, but that is no excuse for her horrible response to what was just an oversight.

I've never felt precious about friends and birthdays so can't quite understand but I would say she's a bit too demanding for you at this time in your life. In any case, she is the problem not you.

Unless something is going on with her and she will come back and apologise for her reaction, I don’t think you can be treading on egg shells around her.

I wouldn’t consider her to be a good friend based on this reaction.

Not sure why PP have been so critical of your message or invitation.

I can never remember anyone's birthday except my own. Will I go to hell? If so do they have loony relatives there?

I'm wondering what has to go wrong and at what point to create a 40-something birthday girl...

It's probably bred during one of those "the venue, the catering, the circus, the ponies, the fireworks" events aka a toddler's birthday.

if you know each other because of your LO’s .. will you have to see her at school drop offs and pick ups? how awful if so …

Gosh I miss my grunting moody teens being young and innocent and cute and little but I do not miss those god awful school gates ….

I’m sorry OP but that’s no friend.

Maybe that's why she's tetchy? Because her husband is away and she couldn't have the birthday she wanted?
I wouldn't apologise anymore. Perhaps ask if she is okay like another poster had suggested

I expect she was also hacked off not to have her usual ‘birthday week’ and no party, with her DH away. Though I don’t get the difficulty with arranging something herself (for example booking a table at her favourite restaurant, how hard is that?). It sounds as if the OP and others would have been happy to come along, and would have brought cards and pressies with them.