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AIBU?

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Original poster

Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

362 replies

Anonforthisq · 07/07/2024 19:54

First off I know im unreasonable for this part but I forgot my friends bday. I remembered the day after and texted on weds to say so sorry I forgot, happy bday, will drop a pressie round soon. Dont hear anything back but dont think anything off it, we both have young kids and busy lives. Texted her again today to ask if she wants to come to a concert I have tickets for next week and she just texted back ‘fuck off’

AIBU to think she’s totally ott?I know it’s bad I forgot (she always remembes!) but j apologised. It’s been a hard week. My youngest has slapped cheek and is miserable, oldest is SEN, I’m pregnant and have ADD. She knows all this btw. We’re women in our 40s, I like birthdays and celebrating but I wouldnt mind even a little bit of someone forgot my bday, especially if they apologised after.

I haven’t texted back and don’t know what to do now

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 07/07/2024 20:21

Anonforthisq · 07/07/2024 20:13

Not yet. Was going to do it tomorrow cos i pass her house to and from work. Dont know what to do with it now 😅 should i still drop it off or am i best just to leave it now

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Like hell would I be dropping off a present to someone that had told me to fuck off!

I hope it's something you'll enjoy yourself!

she's in her 40's not 4, she needs to actually grow up, not just age.

I'm sure she arranged an extravaganza for her birthday, where was your invitation?

Don't give it another thought, you have enough going on in your life without pandering to her tantrum!!

Tobacco · 07/07/2024 20:21

If it is just about the birthday then of course it's unreasonable.

Original poster
Anonforthisq · 07/07/2024 20:21

PinotPony · 07/07/2024 20:17

And that's why she's pissed off. It's one thing to forget, it's quite another to then fail to stop round when you say you will.

Do you often let her down or forget her?

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I havent failed i just havent done it yet. I didnt tell her a specific day, was going to go next time i passed her house.

no i dont often let her down - we dont socialise that much and its usually casual but ive never cancelled. Ive been to 3 of her bday parties and brought gidts. She didnt have a big party this yr cos her husband is working abroad 4 six months and she didnt want to organise it alone.

OP posts:
Bigbirthdaygal · 07/07/2024 20:20

Says me with my username!!!!

BenchyMcBenchFace · 07/07/2024 20:20

Createausername1970 · 07/07/2024 20:14

I have some very close friends and I don't actually know when their birthdays are. I have just supported one through chemo, and been to hospital appointments etc with her and been on the end of the phone at all times of the day and night. But no clue when her birthday is.

So I find your friend's reaction very odd. But I expect someone will come along to say I am odd.

You’re not odd. You’re lovely. And have your friendship priorities absolutely the right way round. Hope your friend is doing well.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/07/2024 20:19

Op I don't mean this in a nasty way but having ADD and or being pregnant and dealing with the kids isn't a get out clause for forgetting important dates or making effort for your friends bday.

Her friend’s birthday isn’t an important date and the OP did make an effort by buying a present.

If my friend was overwhelmed with their own stuff and texted me a day late for my birthday, I would be pleased they were thinking about me in their busy life. I’ve always said a late present just extends my celebration.

Bigbirthdaygal · 07/07/2024 20:19

I suppose it depends how much you value her as a friend. I personally would find it hard to come back from that. People that are this precious over their birthday are probably precious over many other things.

betterangels · 07/07/2024 20:19

PinotPony · 07/07/2024 20:17

And that's why she's pissed off. It's one thing to forget, it's quite another to then fail to stop round when you say you will.

Do you often let her down or forget her?

Show quote history

This is what I thought.

Original poster
Anonforthisq · 07/07/2024 20:18

susiedaisy1912 · 07/07/2024 20:16

I'd have to text her back 'are you ok'?

Maybe this is what i should do now and then leave it if it doesnt go anywhere

OP posts:
Skyrainlight · 07/07/2024 20:17

She sounds like a nightmare. It's not a big deal to forget a friend's birthday, and you messaged her the next day. I'd be glad to be rid of her.

PinotPony · 07/07/2024 20:17

bloodyeffinnora · 07/07/2024 20:08

did you drop off a card and present like you said you would?

And that's why she's pissed off. It's one thing to forget, it's quite another to then fail to stop round when you say you will.

Do you often let her down or forget her?

Original poster
Anonforthisq · 07/07/2024 20:16

Wineontap1233 · 07/07/2024 20:11

Op I don't mean this in a nasty way but having ADD and or being pregnant and dealing with the kids isn't a get out clause for forgetting important dates or making effort for your friends bday. It feels like you put all that in to add weight to your side of the story. That said I'm really curious as to why someone would be so aggressive over one late bday text... would be interesting to hear their side... a late bday text really isn't worthy of being told to f off...

I totally get it but what do you do if you do just forget? i have a lot of tactics to help me with the ADD (which js a disability) but sometimes i just forget snd then just have to make it up best i can. Im so forgiving of ppl forgetting things for me bcos i know sometimes u just make mistakes. I would never tell someone to fuck of for a mistake

OP posts:
susiedaisy1912 · 07/07/2024 20:16

I'd have to text her back 'are you ok'?

Magnastorm · 07/07/2024 20:16

Birthday week? Ffs. What a child. Once you are past the age of about 20 making a big deal out of a birthday is weird. Tell her to fuck off back and send her a photo of your refund for her present.

Createausername1970 · 07/07/2024 20:14

I have some very close friends and I don't actually know when their birthdays are. I have just supported one through chemo, and been to hospital appointments etc with her and been on the end of the phone at all times of the day and night. But no clue when her birthday is.

So I find your friend's reaction very odd. But I expect someone will come along to say I am odd.

betterangels · 07/07/2024 20:13

bloodyeffinnora · 07/07/2024 20:08

did you drop off a card and present like you said you would?

Probably not, or she would have mentioned it in the OP?

There will likely more to this. And people generally have less patience these days.

LadyWhistled0wn · 07/07/2024 20:13

She sounds like a princess, you're not even that close of friends.

I would just delete her number.

Original poster
Anonforthisq · 07/07/2024 20:13

bloodyeffinnora · 07/07/2024 20:08

did you drop off a card and present like you said you would?

Not yet. Was going to do it tomorrow cos i pass her house to and from work. Dont know what to do with it now 😅 should i still drop it off or am i best just to leave it now

OP posts:
Wineontap1233 · 07/07/2024 20:11

Op I don't mean this in a nasty way but having ADD and or being pregnant and dealing with the kids isn't a get out clause for forgetting important dates or making effort for your friends bday. It feels like you put all that in to add weight to your side of the story. That said I'm really curious as to why someone would be so aggressive over one late bday text... would be interesting to hear their side... a late bday text really isn't worthy of being told to f off...

Changingplace · 07/07/2024 20:08

Brendabigbaps · 07/07/2024 20:00

Ive considered doing this to a friend of mine in the past, it was the last thing in a long line of “moments”

You’ve really considered telling a friend to F off for forgetting a birthday or similar? Wow that’s extreme!

bloodyeffinnora · 07/07/2024 20:08

did you drop off a card and present like you said you would?

Original poster
Anonforthisq · 07/07/2024 20:07

PaintingErica · 07/07/2024 20:01

I don’t know … there’s more of a backstory here and we’re just hearing this from a biased point of view.

I honestly dont think there is. Known each other about 5 years, met cos kids are friends in school. Probably meet every month or two for coffee or lunch, always friendly and fine. Maybe there are things iv not noticed that have pissed her off bjt I honestly dont know.

i do know she goes big fkr her bdays, she’s one of those who has a bday week and makes a big deal which is fine ans that is why I feel bad bcos I know its important to her and usually I like celebrating it but i just think it’s way too much to swear about a mistake. i would literally never make a fuss about a friend making a mistake

OP posts:
Keepingongoing · 07/07/2024 20:03

Polomuncher · 07/07/2024 19:59

What! Is she 5 years old

Exactly my thought. You remembered the following day, you’ve apologised, you’ve got a present for her and you’ve offered a date to meet next week. It’s not a crime to forget a birthday for goodness sake.

Icanttakethisanymore · 07/07/2024 20:03

Crikey, tell her to fuck off back, what a princess.

IncompleteSenten · 07/07/2024 20:02

PaintingErica · 07/07/2024 20:01

I don’t know … there’s more of a backstory here and we’re just hearing this from a biased point of view.

That's always the case on here and every other forum.