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AIBU?

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Original poster

Please someone tell me.what to do

67 replies

IamaRevenant · 07/07/2024 17:57

I'm sorry, I'm aware I've posted before.

I'm the breadwinner between me and husband, always have been. He doesn't work full tim due to mental health. Over the last few months I've not been working (my mental and physical health has gone to shit). Husband is saying he's going to divorce me as I'm pathetic. Meanwhile he's never worked more than 16 hrs and everything else is funded by me.

Aibu to expect a bit of reciprocation? I've supported him for.six years and now he's stomping around the flat screaming at me and threatening that he'll forcibly evict me (it's HA, his tenancy) because I don't have a job. And in the same breath asking for more money.

I don't know what's normal any more.

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/07/2024 18:13

Take him up on his offer and leave. You will feel infinitely better!

Bogeyes · 07/07/2024 18:12

Make plans and leave him

Ponoka7 · 07/07/2024 18:12

Your mental and physical health has gone to shit because of him. Make plans to leave and if you feel physically threatened phone the police. Tbh you should have gone long ago.

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 07/07/2024 18:11

It is extremely likely that you will experience an upturn in your emotional and even physical health, when you remove yourself from this abusive marriage. Is he out of the house for his 16 hours of work? If he is, this will give you the breathing space to make a rapid plan. Ring Women's Aid or your local DA service for support.

FUBAR77 · 07/07/2024 18:06

You have been and continue to be financially abused. Do you have DC with this gem of a man?

redalex261 · 07/07/2024 18:04

Contact women's aid for some practical advice and speak to friend/family for moral support. Gather your strength. Then get out. Take all your stuff and go.

He’s a toxic abuser and cocklodger to boot. Nothing to offer you.

This is not normal - you have one life. Please live it.

DancingDolly · 07/07/2024 18:04

You have the right to stay in the tenancy even if your name is not on the agreement because you are married. Very important. Essentially he can't kick you out - only a court order can do that.
Relationship doesn't sound good. Please get some support/advice from Women's Aid

yeesh · 07/07/2024 18:03

Leave. I imagine your mental health will improve when you don’t have to live with an abusive bastard anymore. Also it’s usually not allowed for a married partner to be evicted from a housing association property even if they are not on the tenancy, so check that out if you do want to stay

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 07/07/2024 18:03

Honestly, you need to leave him.

probably better to do while you aren’t working.

You are married so it doesn’t matter if the tenancy is in his name. It’s still the marital home.

You will probably feel much better with that arse out of your life.

jeaux90 · 07/07/2024 18:02

Have you any family you can stay with whilst you recuperate?

Once you are feeling better you can leave him, he sounds like an abusive asshole.

combinationpadlock · 07/07/2024 18:01

leave. Why would you stay and be treated like that?

AtrociousCircumstance · 07/07/2024 18:00

End the relationship. That is exactly what you should do and to do anything else is self destructive and pointless.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 07/07/2024 18:00

Leave

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 07/07/2024 18:00

I'm sure someone will come along with more long winded practical advice, but mine is short and sweet.

Divorce the prick.

FetchezLaVache · 07/07/2024 17:59

It's obvious what you should do. Leave.

ItsalwaysNovember · 07/07/2024 17:59

Got any family or friends you can stay with ? I would not stand for that at all . You’re better off without him.

Loapal · 07/07/2024 17:59

This is beyond ridiculous. Why are you with this man? Surely you can see that you're clearly not being unreasonable?!