Isn't this strange behaviour? I had my third baby summer 2023, and my MIL still hasn't come to meet her. We live 5 hours away in the city, whereas she is rural. In the past she always came with her late husband to visit, and then her sister. Both have died. On the odd occasion herself (after they passed), but it clearly stressed her out. She never visited regularly, more like a few times a year. Her, and my partner have a very superficial relationship, and she has never helped or been close to us. I see it more as a 'duty visit' as she doesn't interact with kids much, just sits there. MIL has had a new partner now for 5 years. We only met him briefly four times, and don't know him very well at all. Anyway, he had a bad fall soon after third was born. He couldn't travel, or go anywhere because of it. After he started to get better (but still unable to travel) i asked her twice to come up and visit. She replied she would rather come up with her partner. I thought ok. I personally would be there in a flash to see my grandchild. He has family to help him too. I also feel uncomfortable as i don't really know him, so it's not like he is our kids grandparent so doesn't really matter if he 'misses out'. I knew it was more of an excuse as she doesn't want to see us on her own. We waited for her partner to be stronger on his feet, but it was a really nasty fall and he hasn't been the same since. Time went on, and i learnt that she came to visit her friend in a town very close to where we live this April. I felt confused because i assumed she hated the idea of travelling on her own, especially as we are far, but actually she can do it. Now i think the problem is us, for whatever reason, she must feel very uncomfortable being alone with us which is why she needs someone with her. I feel upset by this, and feel whats all the point of trying as she clearly thinks god knows what about us. I cannot dream of behaving the way she has. I'd do anything to see my grandkids and make them a priority. Anyway my daughter is about to have her first birthday, and i wanted to message in a direct yet polite way about this. She is the easily offended sort who would go darvo on you if you're honest. How would you respond? Her partner clearly is unable to come up with her, so it's all becoming awkward. She hasn't invited us down for a visit either. Shall i not bother, or say doesn't she want to see her grandkids?